Consumerism and Christmas

Heyy, 

Nine days to go until the big day and I seem to be the only one who is prepped with everything bought pretty much and half of it wrapped already. This year I feel very organized. Last year not so much and next year who effing knows. All I know is that right now I kinda have my shit together. 

I do feel though that whilst my own Christmas list gets longer and longer each and every year with more books, bath bombs or alcohol, I do feel sometimes as though Christmas does become so embroiled in consumerism and material items. 

An article was written back in December 2018 from The Conversation still, I feel, rings true today. The commercialization of the festive period, from column inches about Christmas adverts and who has got what and where, to the appearance of gifts and merchandise on shelves, sometimes more than three months before Santa appears just eats into the spirit of things, and I have to be honest, that for me, it does. Like, is it just me or does Christmas seem to arrive earlier and earlier in the shops and supermarkets these days? 

In 2017, some estimates say that people in the UK spent on average around an extra £500 in December. That is a lot of money on what can only be assumed to be creating an atmosphere. The presents, the joy, the food, the entertainment. It all can add up. I can understand why. As this year will be the first year I am hosting, I can totally feel the pressure to get prepped and ready and organised so that I can relax and enjoy the time we all have with friends and families, especially given the circumstances last year. Now I am not hosting Christmas Day and luckily not Boxing Day either, but the day after (27th) I am due to be hosting a banging buffet. Do I know what I am buying? No. My Plan? Wing it and head to the reduced section in the days that lead up to it and buy what is on offer and what people will like, filling in the remaining bits and bobs as and when I need. 

This is however not what many people do. And rather than save all year round (because it is with no shock that Christmas day is on 25th December the year and will be the same next year and the year after) so really there is no excuse for not saving or being prepared. Because we want to show to people that we care about them and that we love them, and we tend to show this by purchasing gifts, sometimes lavishly and beyond our means. But for the high street and for internet retailers it’s hugely important. Estimates say somewhere between 20% and 40% of annual turnover is done over this period of really just a couple of months. For many retailers, Christmas is the time where they could make it or break it, and in recent years we have seen how broken it can get with the high street giants of Debenhams, Beales, Toys R Us, HMV, and others falling under and failing to keep their head above water. 

However when I think back to Christmas memories of mine, some of the things I remember most were not the presents but the people I was with. Aunties and Uncles, Grandparents and Siblings. To me, that’s the most important part of Christmas, well that and the food and the parties and the outfits and the drinking - And pressies. Does that make me materialistic? Who knows, but what I do know is that I think next year things might change and priorities will change to who needs what and how much. Christmas needs to become a time of memories and fun and happiness rather than who spent what and how many presents are in my stocking. Bring on Christmas 2022!

'Til next time, Love A.Lou x

Remember, if you would like to purchase anything then please feel free to check out my store at: https://www.etsy.com/uk/shop/Wooftys or visit our Instagram @WooftysDogTreats and use "TATOATS21" to get 10% off your first order over £15.00.

And So The Healing Begins

Heyy, 

So last Tuesday was my birthday and whilst I did not mention this in last week's blog post, I thought that I would mention it now! Happy Birthday to me! It is always awkward when you have a birthday in the middle of the week. Everyone is working or have other commitments and dinner out was an expensive luxury to do twice. Instead I settled for my Birthday Eve when Mr. Warehouse and Miss Tweedle-Dee joined me to indulge in my favourite thing eating out and sushi. And although my best friend and boyfriend were not fully enjoying themselves - Miss Tweedle-Dee felt poorly and Mr. Warehouse was still unsure on the concept of raw fish - But I certainly wasn't and gorged on many dishes of salmon and sticky rice. 

Afterwards Mr. Warehouse, Miss Tweedle-Dee and I took an after dinner stroll and I was giving my birthday present from my bestie. Opening the different envelope they all contained information about a wonderful idea and something that was just otherworldly. With the run-up to Halloween coming quickly I am so excited for Autumn and Spookies to come, so with all of this in mind Miss Tweedle-Dee paid for us to both encounter the paranormal inside one of Britain's Most Haunted prisons - HMP Gloucester. 

The website states that HMP Gloucester has a long and chilling history with many of the executed criminals remain buried in the grounds of the prison. Some of the most infamous serial killers have been incarcerated within the walls of Gloucester Prison. The prison formally closed on 31 March 2013 but the suffering and torment is deeply etched within the fabric of this foreboding location. Originally built as the County Gaol in 1700s at a cost of £34,000 with a capacity of 350 prisoners each in separate cells, there were also separate cells for debtors of both sexes.Between 1792 and 1864 at least 102 executions took place using the considered more humane 'New Drop' style gallows with many of the executed being buried in unmarked graves where they still remain today. Join the team as we spend the night at the terrifying HMP Gloucester with the tormented souls that remain.

Miss Tweedle-Dee and I will start our overnight ghost hunt at HMP Gloucester in the afternoon of Saturday 20th October 2018 when my Besitie and I will drive, in her new car, down to Gloucestershire and check into the hotel to try and get some rest. Our experience will start at 9pm that night and will be sure to really test our nerve. An experience that we are sure will not forget and with suffering torment and death deeply etched into the very fabric of this imposing prison we may meet more than just the guide. Gloucester Prison was home to the notorious serial killer Fred West so during the night we might be in contact with him and all those who remain as Miss Tweedle-Dee and I join in carrying out seances, vigils and experiments in the most active areas of the imposing location. At 3am all is well as Miss Tweedle-Dee and I will return to the hotel, hopefully not possessed or contaminated by demonic spirits to sleep and the following day maybe some nice relaxing shopping ... Or maybe a trip to Church?!

One present that I did not expect to receive was an email in my inbox from a charitable organisation in the heart of Bedford called the Amicus Trust. In the email they detailed about how I had reached out to someone that could help me with my mental state and said that they were able to give me counselling sessions in order to work through my problems as quickly as possible so that life can get back on track. I am still on my medication but I  now feel quite pressured from loved ones to get things sorted and frankly it is becoming a little too much to bear. I know that people mean well and that in reality I am of the knowledge that I need to sort out these issues but first and foremost, I need to sort myself out.Trust me when I say that it is simply a long story that I may share with you another time.

Leaving the house with plenty of time on Friday morning just in case parking was a bitch, I was anxious as I always am at my first meeting with my current therapist. I found a parking space straight away and with that proceeded to scroll through my social media pages whilst I waited for an appropriate time when I would be able to walk through the doors without being too early. Locking my car and walking past many of the unscrupulous faces I saw on that Friday morning I realised that the the exact location of my therapy Sessions were actually in the heart of Bedford and area which is renowned for its poor reputation and well known for being a bad side of town. But with this in mind I thought that there would be no better place to have a charity or organisation such as the Amicus Trust.

Meeting the gentleman that I had been emailing for the last fortnight or so was interesting to say the least. He was extremely friendly and easy to get to know. Immediately I was relaxed and at ease with his company He offered me a cup of coffee which was nice as it was the morning and I have not eaten yet but it also helped in breaking the ice in what would otherwise be a rather emotionally fuelled situation. Sitting down at a large wooden table, the room was dimly lit and despite the large window next to the table being hidden by the blinds I could still hear the busy street outside. My Therapist was an larger framed gentleman maybe in his late fifties with long salt and pepper curly hair tied back in a ponytail. He wore a dusky purple corduroy shirt straight out of the 70s or 80s and with the skin tags littering his eyes and wrinkly face I knew that I can trust him. 

And so we began unravelling my tale. It is a complex and complicated one and something in which we only got to the bottom of this evening, however after the last two sessions I can safely say that things can be fixed and everything can be resolved one way or another. There are certainly a lot of issues that we need to work through and get to the bottom of but he assures me that it can all be mended. Its funny, walking out of my therapy session tonight has made me feel more positive and hopeful than I think I have felt in the last few months about my mental health and I am sure that I will work through it to get back to me again. It will be long and hard and difficult, but I'm ready!

'Til next time, Love A.Lou xx

Loch Stress Monster!

Evening, 

So after feeling so helpless last week my emotions are still a little bit all over the place and I think that this will probably be the case until well after the funeral on Friday of this week. I still I still feel as though I'm not in control even though I don't necessarily need to be. I almost get the impression that there is something that I am forgetting to do organised or plan. Something has been missed off my to-do list and I'm terrified that it will be on the day and at that very moment that I need it that I choose to remember. 

With all of this and more on my mind I felt that it would be an ample time to use some of the vouchers we got for Christmas on a spa day for Mr Warehouse and I. Well needed I think definitely I was looking forward to having some time relaxing and not thinking or worrying about anything. Including access to the swimming pool, sauna and steam room facilities plus a short treatment as well as a luscious afternoon tea with champagne was definitely what I needed. Arriving on on the day at the hotels reception, Mr Warehouse and I were welcomed into the premises with a nice cup of tea and coffee. Relaxing into the soft and comfy chairs of the Holiday Inn Corby lounge area we talked for a few moments and I wondered the last time we had had an opportunity to do such a thing together just the two of us. Truth we told that we hadn't actually probably since we had been to Bath back in late November. I think what with Christmas, New Year's, saving for the house and the more recent events of the last few months I will be the first one to admit that we probably have not spent that much quality time together just the two of us. Maybe I need to make some time for that. Hmmm ... 

After chilling out on the lounges by the pool it was time for my treatment. Heading down to the spa and Treatment Rooms I was excited and glad to be massaged for the next 25 minutes. That was until I met the masseuse. Taking me into the treatment room everything was going swimmingly and I was describing exactly how I would like to feel after my massage and what areas I would like her to concentrate on. On leaving the room I took off my bikini top and lay down as instructed beneath the towel blanket. Coming back into the room the masseuse soon whipped off the towel only to reveal my bikini bottoms still on. 

"Oh well those will need to be removed as they will make my blanket and bed wet. I'll leave the room again!" the masseuse said with a attitude problem. Feeling on edge and certainly far from relaxed I did as she asked and resumed my position on the bed. On coming back into the room she yet again tugged down the towel only this time, revealing my bare bum.  Trying to think nothing else of it I tried to relax. This was especially difficult when I was told that I was not in the best position for right angle. At one point I obviously was not relaxed enough for her liking to which she grabbed my arm and flopped it back and forth in an effort to 'loosen it up'. I can only assume at that both my arms are pretty tense and knotted since the angry Scottish lady had to do this several times with each arm which only seemed to aggravate her even more. When it came to working up to my neck and shoulder area I wasn't even given the chance to be told what I needed to do or how to relax as best as possible as the masseuse just grabbed my head and pushed it into whatever position she needed. 

Harping back to the days of my 2015 Blog post 'No Pain No Gain' of Mr. Masseuse, well I think I found his wife! I sometimes wonder to myself am I ever able to have a moment where life doesn't throw me a curve-ball or something as hilarious as this in order to be worthy of blog material. On finishing the massage I didn't think too much else of it and left the room feeling in a way on edge and not at all as though I had just had a relaxing massage. I was polite as ever and thanked the masseuse before exiting the spa only to see Mr Warehouse sat waiting for his treatment. I briefly explain to him that more likely than not he would have the same lady as I had and if this was the case then he should just relax, relax, relax! To be honest I would have just Shrugged it off as her attitude and something that may be had pissed her off earlier in the day had maybe put her in a foul mood, but when Mr Warehouse met me by poolside ready to go down for our afternoon tea, he too had explained how she had attempted the floppy arm manoeuvre on him also. Unfortunately the apparent desired effect have not had any workings on Mr Warehouse and therefore had been abruptly huffed at that if he was unable to relax his arms then there would be no point in her trying to massage them. We tried not to let it spoil the rest of our day however we would be lying to say that it didn't put a damper on it. Afternoon tea however was lovely and as ever very filling. 

Sitting here now thinking about it and after talking to work colleagues today in the office about how my weekend went, I suppose in a way I do kind of feel a little bit let down and disappointed generally with the experience that Mr. Warehouse and I had. Especially since this was meant to be a relaxing Sunday afternoon before what was going to be a very busy, hectic and emotional week 4 not just me but also Mr Warehouse also as he tries to support me through a difficult time. The pressure to look, talk, act and be a certain way is still immense and the whole idea that things will just go as they are on the day is simply not sitting right with me, causing me to be highly anxious and constantly worrying about everything and anything that could go wrong. 

It's becoming a bit stressful and overwhelming so truth be told I will be happy when I have said my part at the crematorium and event can relax with a drink or two, once I drive home of course. I worry constantly and feel like I am on a permanent wobble. I have even worried that this might be the beginning of that god awful cloud feeling.Sometimes I feel like I have to put on such an act for everyone, pretending to be happy-go-lucky and enjoying and loving life, Its long. I feel like I am forever walking on eggshells and scared of not upsetting someone or being inconsiderate or not saying or doing the right thing that its leaving me felling that whatever I do is never going to be good enough. 

All I can hope is that what everybody is telling me is the truth and that going forward everything will be OK. I think maybe I just need to slow down, calm down and collect myself and my thoughts. Everything will be Okay. I'm sure of it. 

'Til next time, Love A.Lou xx

Where's my Xanax!

Hiya!

Have do you ever feel as if you just want to put the brakes on? When you just want to tell everything or everyone to stop. Freeze. A moment in time. I do and truth be told I have probably felt this way for a few weeks now. Since coming back from Ireland I feel as if everything has been on fast forward mode. Work is busy, so is my schedule to try and get slimmer for summer and my social life is hectic. On top of all of this I also have several big life events to contend with. My Grandfather passing away and his hastily approaching funeral and my best friend since being a small child emigrating are just the tip of the iceberg. 

Miss Tweedle-Dumb has been there through it all and to be honest there isn't anything that I think our friendship has not been through or tested by. In all fairness I am almost certain that some of those testing's probably came from me directly but I would not change our friendship or life together that we have shared since we first met in the sandpit of our Lower School. Me and Miss Tweedle-Dumb were the best of friends and when Miss Tweedle-Dee came along, every man and his dog were telling us all that it would never work out and "three's a crowd"! But through the decades we have always remained friends. Now of course there is sometimes a love/hate relationship as we all know what buttons to press and I think when asked individually, Miss Tweedle-Dumb, Miss Tweedle-Dee and I would be lying if we said that we didn't piss off each other at least mildly on the odd occasion. I think like most girls we are a little bit jealous or envious of each other, well, at least I know that I am, and on its own this could be a toxic combination. However when it is combined with a rock-solid strong friendship and a resilience that we share together, a little reminder to keep up with the Jones' is just whats required to keep our 'A' game. 

And maybe it is this that I am worried or scared of, that we have been friends for so long that I don't know what it is going to be like without all three of us together. Looking back on things, it was about two-decades (God I'm old) that we met, all the way back in the heady heights of late 90's scrunchies, A1 Posters and Jelly shoes! I suppose in a way it wasn't that long ago that I was having the same worries and fears that I was now about Miss Tweedle-Dumb moving to Basingstoke to be closer with her fiancee. There I was thinking that the whole world would Collide in on itself because my best friend moved a couple of hours down the road. And to think that whilst LA is nice and all, I would sooner her take a couple of hours drive down to the Anbil rather than boarding a plane for several hours. I just know I am going to miss her so much and that may be the fact she is emigrating and moving on with her new life in the sunshine state it just worries me that I wont be a part of it or her life anymore. 

Maybe a part of me feels that I am not in control despite not necessarily needing to have any control over anything. Take the funeral for example. With the funeral less than a fortnight away, I feel a heavy pressure to look a certain way, talk a certain way and act a certain way that it's all becoming a bit stressful. The fact that I am a fully fledged adult and know exactly how to act, what to wear and what to say is obviously beyond them, my Dad in particular. I know he means well and just does it as he maybe wants me to come across in the best way or to not mess up and embarrass either me or himself and the family, but sometimes it is just so overwhelming. I worry constantly every day about being judged. I am forever conscience of not upsetting someone or being inconsiderate or not saying or doing the right thing that its leaving me in an anxious mess. In the beginning it was only a fleeting thought that maybe, just maybe, whatever I did was never going to be good enough whereas now it is a constant reminder. 

I don't know, is this what anxiety feels like?! Constantly in a state of worry or concern? Always overthinking things? Is this why I feel the need to be in control? I am terrified that something will go wrong and that it will all be my fault. I am worried that the funeral wont go to plan and that I wont know what to do or say on the day itself, I'll just be in a snotty, teary kitchen-floor-reset state or that big or small, something will happen that will spoil the day for everyone. I have been told that I expect too much (from myself) and that I need not be so hard on myself when things don't go to plan, but I do and I don't know why. All I can hope is that everything is alright on the night and that when it really comes down to the crunch that I stay calm and collected. Now, wheres my Xanax!

'Til next time, Love A.Lou xx