Hellooo,
Last week, along with announcing that I had a new job to go to, which I will be starting this time next week (Eek!) but also that I had taken my driving test for the second time. Driving up to the test centre I was nervous about the 'Show Me Tell Me' questions as I had not practised them much on the run up as I had before, but other than that I felt very confident about taking my test again.
Sitting in the waiting area again I was anxious to get going. Seeing my previous driving examiner readying another candidate I was saddened that my learning-to-drive journey would not end with being passed by the same examiner that failed me first time around. Nevertheless I awaited my name to be called and introduced myself when the time came. An elderly gentleman with a large mole or birth mark on his face I was ready to show him what I was made of and hopefully impress him enough to give me that coveted pink drivers licence was so desperate to have. Sitting in the car, ready to go I was determined this would be the last time I have to do this. I needed to pass. Failure was honestly not an option. Halloween was merely a few weeks away and the stingy part of me did not want to shell out in cab fares back and fourth from Bedford to Mr. Warehouse's Cousin's party in nearby Stewartby.
Heading out of the test centre we took a route unfamiliar to myself, but I carried through and before I knew it my time was almost up. Pulling up on a residential road I had already managed some tricky junctions, manoeuvres and traffic situations. Now it was time for my independent driving; A full ten-minutes of silence from everyone in the car whilst I adhered to the already pre-instructed route back to the test centre. Again I was asked to take the route that had failed me last time. Taking it away I put the motions into place and headed out towards the A421 taking directions for Cambridge and the north. Although coming up to a roundabout I was approaching with caution due to an Audi driver not signalling off. As a result I had not noticed I had been driving in the chevron area for some time and it was only now, as I mounted the curb on the island approaching the roundabout that I realised my faults.
Managing my way around the junction and out onto the cross roads that stung me last time I was sure not to make the same mistake twice, coming up to the junction to stop, look and then ace pulling out into the steadily moving traffic. Heading back to the test centre now I was confident it had been a great drive, maybe one of my best but the fact that I had mounted the curb had thrown me slightly. "If I have failed at that point again I will be really upset and angry with myself. Twelve minutes that's all it is. Twelve minutes from home at the test centre!" I said internally as I exited the slip road and headed towards Cardington. Driving up the winding lanes I was hoping for success and as I pulled my faithful Beema into the parking space I held my breath slightly in anticipation of the news.
"So I am pleased to tell you that you have passed your driving test" said the examiner, a smiling yet concerned look on his wrinkled face.
"You mounted the curb back there and in all fairness whilst it was some good driving, most of the five minors you have encountered are for steering or steering related" he continued as my mind drifted off to thoughts of buying a car and what I would tell friends, family and co-workers.
"You need to make sure you pay more attention and maybe consider taking lessons to counteract your steering issues I have highlighted" my examiner said as I beamed with excitement. Bidding farewell I exited the BMW and shaking, sat in the passengers seat as my instructor took to the wheel to drive me to work.
The journey back to work was a quick one, passing in a blur of advice and practical knowledge from my instructor whom six-months earlier was just a stranger. Pulling into the car park I was slightly late arriving at just gone ten-in-the-morning. Seeing Miss Hackney and Miss Sugarcoat having a cheeky mid-morning cigarette I saw them trying to read my face as I got out of the car. Thanking my instructor I collected my bag and coat, shaking with my certificate I walked over to where my work colleagues were standing. Shaking my head I heard the sympathies of failing again. That was until I pulled out my pass certificate yelling "Look what I found!?"
Screams and jeers followed in the wake of my announcement, other colleagues peering out of windows and asking if I had passed. Holding up my certificate like a scene from Lion King ("Ha-Min-Yah" and all that malarkey) I was proud as punch. Is this what becoming a parent feels like? Maybe? Who knows? Who cares? I mounted the curb during my driving test and somehow still passed?! I was buzzing. I think I spent most of the rest of the day being congratulated and asked about my test and how it all went. A part of me really started to question why I was leaving when this felt so much like home and family.
Nevertheless the week continued to drag and as the end of the week was in sight I started to scout out some cars at local reputable dealerships. Taking public transport to a dealership on Saturday I had my heart set on a little orange Ford Fiesta. It is an eleven-plate, five-door hatchback with a 1.4 engine and with its high specification including a multifunctional steering wheel, automatic headlights and rain sensors it was certainly a thing of beauty. Small enough for little old me and big enough for the Doggy and other half during road-trips I was certainly excited to test drive the autumnal-coloured runabout and even more anxious to hear about what packaged I could choose from.
I will be financing the car, and whilst I did consider a brand spanking new motor, the fact that it would depreciate by over a third just by driving it off the forecourt was a huge factor in why I chose second-hand over new. With one previous owner, no noticeable damage or scratches to her paintwork and a clean interior she was perfect. Yes my car is a she and because it is a female, my little tangerine-coloured car will be called Vivienne, after the flame-haired fashionista that is Vivienne Westwood. I think it fits and I have since found out from Mr. CWG that in actual fact the Ford Fiesta does not come as standard with that colouring and the previous owner must have paid a good deal of money for a paint job as good as what my Viv got. A special one of a kind you might say. Unique - Just like her owner! I am certainly eagar to collect her as soon as possible and it was due to be tonight after I finished work, but with the financial approver being off sick yesterday and today, it is looking like the earliest date Vivienne can come home will be Thursday at earliest. Between now and then I need to barter for a good insurance deal, buy my annual road tax and pick up some screen wash and other car bits to make her look and smell as pretty as a peach in summer.
Phhew! Some serious Adulting has been done recently; New Job, Newly aquired driving liecence and a successful application for car finance. Hopefully next week I can let you know how Vivienne is settling into her new home and how we get along as newly associated BFF's!
'Til next time, Love A.Lou xx
Showing posts with label Pass. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Pass. Show all posts
Monday, 17 October 2016
Monday, 19 September 2016
Half Way To My Fab Fifties!
Hello Hello,
Waiting in the reception of Cardington's Test centre it was safe to say I was anxious. Sitting there, early because I have to not because I wanted to. If I had it my way I would have turned up with enough time for a quick wee and smile at the receptionist, hoping she may influence he decision of the examiner, which of course, is silly. Moments later after I returned from the bathroom where I wished good luck to another lady also taking her test for the first time. Nervous, I watched as the examiner, a short man with an alternative look including ear tunnels and and tattoos. Calling my name I took a gulp and stepped forward. Shaking his hand I introduced myself as did he. Showing him my licence I was escorted to the car park where I was asked some questions. Getting into the drivers seat the examiner asked me to start the engine and so my test began.
Driving down the road, stopping occasionally for manoeuvres and traffic, I felt that the first half of my test was going well. Feeling confident I continued to show my instructor exactly what I had learnt since April. However I had stalled several times, mainly for being in either the wrong gear or simply for driving far too slowly in traffic, all which added toward my final score of seven minors. Also included in that was not stopping with enough distance to the car in front whilst in traffic as well as speed, although whether it was too slow or too fast I am not so sure.
Coming through a small village on the outskirts of Bedford I came up to a junction marked with a Give way sign. I stopped. I looked. I waited. I thought that since everywhere I looked was a red light that this might apply to me and my lane of traffic. I was wrong. I knew that after I had been sat there for a few moments. Saying out loud what I had done wrong I moved out into the direction I wanted to go, however with traffic now oncoming from the opposite direction on the crossroads I was unable to make the junction through safely. With the examiner pressing his foot on the brake gently I knew by that point I had failed. I was twelve-minutes from the test centre. Twelve-minutes. I was so close.
Pulling into the test centre again I heard the deepness of my examiners voice and I knew even before he offered his apologies that I had unfortunately failed. Thanking my examiner I courteously got out of the car and my instructor got into the drivers seat, silent as a mouse. As I walked around the car I heard crying. Deep, tearful, hysterical crying. Was it the women that I met in the toilets? I don't know. I could hear her, but I couldn't see, and in all fairness I didn't want to look at everyone else happy at passing.
Driving me to work my Instructor was quiet. He mentioned a few things including that it was a good drive other than my mishap at the crossroads. Honestly I think I knew it was going to happen. The odds were stacked against me and with only twenty to thirty percent of people passing first time it wasn't looking great from the outset. Nevertheless though I carried on and did my best. Besides all the best drivers pass second time right? Pulling into work, some of the lads were having a cigarette. Smiling I allowed my instructor to park the car safely to which I promised to book in more lessons after my birthday weekend and departed. Walking into reception I heard one of the lads congratulate me. The other one asked how it went and I could only shake my head in disappointment.
"Nooo!" One of them exclaimed "It cant be true, your instructor drove you back they always do that once you have passed. Your just joshing with us?!" he continued as I explained what had happened. Heading upstairs, not as late as I was anticipating I was greeted with the usual 'hellos' and 'mornings', But as I approached my desk Miss Hackney (Originally from the area and the most 'gangsta' person I know), one of my closest work colleagues, looked at me with longing eye and a wanting gaze. I shook my head and she cuddled me as a friend would, apologetic for my lack of drivers competence. Running through everything though I was honestly OK. I didn't cry or even have a tear up. I was fine. Glad in fact, relieved it was finally over. Besides I think if I had passed first time around I would have almost certainly been a cocky and arrogant driver, ergo second time around I will be better and more skilled than before. Continuing with life though I headed home to tell Mr. Warehouse and he cuddled me as Miss Hackney had. But there was no time to be glum. After all I was turning twenty-five in a matter of days!
Coming in the following morning I was in much of a better mood for Friday was my work birthday and Miss Hackney and Miss Gravy (She is from 'oop nooorth) had made me a big surprise on my desk. Glitter and confetti stars were everywhere. Cupcakes, party hats, nibble and treats all adorned my desk. Ten minutes later I finally have some order, but it need not matter much for it was my work birthday and it was nearly, oh so nearly the weekend. Finishing work I headed into town with Miss Hackney to meet Mr. Warehouse and pick up all the food for the party the following night, before heading home and hosting Miss Hackney for dinner. That night Mr. Warehouse and I anticipated the dramas tomorrow would bring, no real clue on what it would hold.
The following morning was going swimmingly, that was until the therapist called and explained my spa day had to be cancelled due to not having any therapists available. Annoyed, Mr. Warehouse and I headed into town to pick up a few last minute things and start decorating the venue. Speaking to Momma Warehouse the previous evening we knew that she would be busy in the morning moving houses so left her to it as we would see her in a few short hours since she was coming to help Mr. Warehouse to cook and prepare all the food. But as half-two rolled round we still had no communication from her and it wasn't until Mr. Warehouse got a call from his older brother to inform us that in actual fact she wasn't coming, or helping with the food, or giving us a lift with the food to the venue. In a right pickle we had depended on her to help us and now what were we going to do. Making the best of a bad situation we forked out for Taxi-Cabs to bring all the food and take everything back home at the end of the night. With Mr. Warehouse racing home and busting his balls to get all the food ready I was sat in the hairdressers getting a much needed cut.
Returning home a few hours later I cracked open the Prosecco and proceeded to get ready. Donning the same blush tonal gown I wore to the wedding in Newquay this summer I felt the part. Arriving at the venue I was pleased once all the food was laid out and it was finally time to relax with those that meant the most. As family and friend began to arrive I was delighted with the turn out, only a few guests didn't attend and I suppose they had good reasoning's. Even both side of my family turned up, my uncles from my mother and my fathers sides which, seeing them embrace each other in a way I thought I'd never see really choked me up and definatly brought a tear to my eye. I was saddened that my dearest Miss Tweedle-Dee and Miss Tweedle-Dumb did not turn up until much later in the evening, even after a few people had left already. Looking at my clock I could see that it was gone half-eight. Where were they? Soon enough they turned up, although I could tell that they were annoyed for being late which was somewhat not their fault. Momma and Pappa Tweedle-Dee came as well, joining in with the drinks and the banter.
The evening was a massive success and the food? Well I am more than disappointed to say that after all of Mr. Warehouse's hard work, there was a huge amount of food that had simply not been touched. And now I was faced with a alcohol infused choice to make. The bar man wanted to start clearing up for the end of the night and that included clearing the food. I offered him and the other staff members to help themselves and encouraged my party-goers to tuck in also but it hardly made a dent. Mr. Warehouse was refusing to take the remainder home, despite paying for a cab back home with all my presents and the like. Suffice to say I was fuming at the prospect of throwing away more than sixty-quids worth of food. I am simmering now but for sure Mr. Warehouse will be taking me our for dinner when he gets paid to make up for it.
Heading into town after the party I partied until the wee-small hours, finally getting home at gone four-in-the-morning. I fell asleep that night with a subway sndwiched between my tits and a smile on my face. Haha, still got it!
'Til next time, Love A.Lou xx
Waiting in the reception of Cardington's Test centre it was safe to say I was anxious. Sitting there, early because I have to not because I wanted to. If I had it my way I would have turned up with enough time for a quick wee and smile at the receptionist, hoping she may influence he decision of the examiner, which of course, is silly. Moments later after I returned from the bathroom where I wished good luck to another lady also taking her test for the first time. Nervous, I watched as the examiner, a short man with an alternative look including ear tunnels and and tattoos. Calling my name I took a gulp and stepped forward. Shaking his hand I introduced myself as did he. Showing him my licence I was escorted to the car park where I was asked some questions. Getting into the drivers seat the examiner asked me to start the engine and so my test began.
Driving down the road, stopping occasionally for manoeuvres and traffic, I felt that the first half of my test was going well. Feeling confident I continued to show my instructor exactly what I had learnt since April. However I had stalled several times, mainly for being in either the wrong gear or simply for driving far too slowly in traffic, all which added toward my final score of seven minors. Also included in that was not stopping with enough distance to the car in front whilst in traffic as well as speed, although whether it was too slow or too fast I am not so sure.
Coming through a small village on the outskirts of Bedford I came up to a junction marked with a Give way sign. I stopped. I looked. I waited. I thought that since everywhere I looked was a red light that this might apply to me and my lane of traffic. I was wrong. I knew that after I had been sat there for a few moments. Saying out loud what I had done wrong I moved out into the direction I wanted to go, however with traffic now oncoming from the opposite direction on the crossroads I was unable to make the junction through safely. With the examiner pressing his foot on the brake gently I knew by that point I had failed. I was twelve-minutes from the test centre. Twelve-minutes. I was so close.
Pulling into the test centre again I heard the deepness of my examiners voice and I knew even before he offered his apologies that I had unfortunately failed. Thanking my examiner I courteously got out of the car and my instructor got into the drivers seat, silent as a mouse. As I walked around the car I heard crying. Deep, tearful, hysterical crying. Was it the women that I met in the toilets? I don't know. I could hear her, but I couldn't see, and in all fairness I didn't want to look at everyone else happy at passing.
Driving me to work my Instructor was quiet. He mentioned a few things including that it was a good drive other than my mishap at the crossroads. Honestly I think I knew it was going to happen. The odds were stacked against me and with only twenty to thirty percent of people passing first time it wasn't looking great from the outset. Nevertheless though I carried on and did my best. Besides all the best drivers pass second time right? Pulling into work, some of the lads were having a cigarette. Smiling I allowed my instructor to park the car safely to which I promised to book in more lessons after my birthday weekend and departed. Walking into reception I heard one of the lads congratulate me. The other one asked how it went and I could only shake my head in disappointment.
"Nooo!" One of them exclaimed "It cant be true, your instructor drove you back they always do that once you have passed. Your just joshing with us?!" he continued as I explained what had happened. Heading upstairs, not as late as I was anticipating I was greeted with the usual 'hellos' and 'mornings', But as I approached my desk Miss Hackney (Originally from the area and the most 'gangsta' person I know), one of my closest work colleagues, looked at me with longing eye and a wanting gaze. I shook my head and she cuddled me as a friend would, apologetic for my lack of drivers competence. Running through everything though I was honestly OK. I didn't cry or even have a tear up. I was fine. Glad in fact, relieved it was finally over. Besides I think if I had passed first time around I would have almost certainly been a cocky and arrogant driver, ergo second time around I will be better and more skilled than before. Continuing with life though I headed home to tell Mr. Warehouse and he cuddled me as Miss Hackney had. But there was no time to be glum. After all I was turning twenty-five in a matter of days!
Coming in the following morning I was in much of a better mood for Friday was my work birthday and Miss Hackney and Miss Gravy (She is from 'oop nooorth) had made me a big surprise on my desk. Glitter and confetti stars were everywhere. Cupcakes, party hats, nibble and treats all adorned my desk. Ten minutes later I finally have some order, but it need not matter much for it was my work birthday and it was nearly, oh so nearly the weekend. Finishing work I headed into town with Miss Hackney to meet Mr. Warehouse and pick up all the food for the party the following night, before heading home and hosting Miss Hackney for dinner. That night Mr. Warehouse and I anticipated the dramas tomorrow would bring, no real clue on what it would hold.
The following morning was going swimmingly, that was until the therapist called and explained my spa day had to be cancelled due to not having any therapists available. Annoyed, Mr. Warehouse and I headed into town to pick up a few last minute things and start decorating the venue. Speaking to Momma Warehouse the previous evening we knew that she would be busy in the morning moving houses so left her to it as we would see her in a few short hours since she was coming to help Mr. Warehouse to cook and prepare all the food. But as half-two rolled round we still had no communication from her and it wasn't until Mr. Warehouse got a call from his older brother to inform us that in actual fact she wasn't coming, or helping with the food, or giving us a lift with the food to the venue. In a right pickle we had depended on her to help us and now what were we going to do. Making the best of a bad situation we forked out for Taxi-Cabs to bring all the food and take everything back home at the end of the night. With Mr. Warehouse racing home and busting his balls to get all the food ready I was sat in the hairdressers getting a much needed cut.
Returning home a few hours later I cracked open the Prosecco and proceeded to get ready. Donning the same blush tonal gown I wore to the wedding in Newquay this summer I felt the part. Arriving at the venue I was pleased once all the food was laid out and it was finally time to relax with those that meant the most. As family and friend began to arrive I was delighted with the turn out, only a few guests didn't attend and I suppose they had good reasoning's. Even both side of my family turned up, my uncles from my mother and my fathers sides which, seeing them embrace each other in a way I thought I'd never see really choked me up and definatly brought a tear to my eye. I was saddened that my dearest Miss Tweedle-Dee and Miss Tweedle-Dumb did not turn up until much later in the evening, even after a few people had left already. Looking at my clock I could see that it was gone half-eight. Where were they? Soon enough they turned up, although I could tell that they were annoyed for being late which was somewhat not their fault. Momma and Pappa Tweedle-Dee came as well, joining in with the drinks and the banter.
The evening was a massive success and the food? Well I am more than disappointed to say that after all of Mr. Warehouse's hard work, there was a huge amount of food that had simply not been touched. And now I was faced with a alcohol infused choice to make. The bar man wanted to start clearing up for the end of the night and that included clearing the food. I offered him and the other staff members to help themselves and encouraged my party-goers to tuck in also but it hardly made a dent. Mr. Warehouse was refusing to take the remainder home, despite paying for a cab back home with all my presents and the like. Suffice to say I was fuming at the prospect of throwing away more than sixty-quids worth of food. I am simmering now but for sure Mr. Warehouse will be taking me our for dinner when he gets paid to make up for it.
Heading into town after the party I partied until the wee-small hours, finally getting home at gone four-in-the-morning. I fell asleep that night with a subway sndwiched between my tits and a smile on my face. Haha, still got it!
'Til next time, Love A.Lou xx
Monday, 12 September 2016
The Final Countdown!
Heyy,
Sitting in the car, dressed in Mr. Warehouse's tracksuit jogging bottoms, hoodie and my Bailey Button UGGs, I felt I needed an excuse for my unusually relaxed Sunday afternoon attire. 'Think women, think' I said to myself as I racked my brain trying to think of a valid excuse for being so slobby on what was a beautiful day.
"Sorry, Just got back from the Gym" I lied to my driving instructor. Don't know why I had to lie. He wouldn't have cared. I don't even own a Gym Membership let alone go to one. The closest I get to a gym is walking past on my way to a fast food outlet or another variant of a poor diet choice. Hmmm, Krispy Kreme!
Nevertheless I started my driving lesson well, pulling off and out of the residential areas surrounding my little home without a hitch. I figured that since this was going to be my last lesson I would wear my so-called 'lucky' shoes and hopefully they would give me the confidence I was so lacking in my driving lessons of late. Heading towards the test centre my instructor reminded me that I would be taking a mock examination on yesterday's bright Sunday afternoon. Starting off with the general knowledge questions I was asked about tyre pressure amongst other things and on asking how I check it my mind decided to just go blank. 'Kick them - If they spring back then their full enough? No that cannot be the right answer. Feel them with your hands? Oh god, why don't I know this?' I thought to myself. 'I know that there is that thing at the petrol stations that beeps when you have reached full capacity but surely that's not the right answer?' I again pondered. With no other option I gave it my best shot.
"Is it to feel it with your hands?" I said, knowing more so when it was said out loud was probably the worst response a testee has ever said. This was fully appreciated when my instructor repeated my ridiculous answer back to me. Expecting him to laugh out loud I waited patiently as he scribbled on the mock examination paperwork. 'Fuuuuuuuuuck'
Heart rate slightly increased, I started the engine of my dearest Beema and carried along the winding and bendy roads that ran throughout the heart of the Bedfordshire countryside. Carrying on through my mock test I managed all the roads including a busy dual carriageway, a three-point / turn in the road, a parallel park and even avoided what could have been a very serious crash. You see I was coming down a very narrow residential street that I have never encountered before and as I was approaching the end, already in first gear I slowed right down, more so for my own sake, being the first time I had taken that route before. Then, just before I was about to take the bend in question a green car came speeding round forcing me to slam on my breaks, stalling the car. Hands waving in the air and probably shouting obscenities, I ignored the arrogant driver that knew he was in the wrong and that obviously had been born without having to be a learner driver, for I cannot see any other reasoning for him acting in such an irrational and cock-chinned way to another fellow road user, especially given the speed he was going round the corner of a twenty-mile-an-hour zone.
Regardless I continued and successfully drove back to the test centre, pulling up outside and awaited the inevitable fate that would be I failed. 'This is what it is going to feel like babe. This is the blissful innocence of a naive learner driver on the bare brink of her test. Revel from it and enjoy the fact that your in the middle of the countryside and surrounded by trees to hang yourself in when you fail' I pepped myself. Just FYI though I am not a mental health risk - No matter what my close friends and family may say! I am fully sane and can assure you I would not be honestly that devastated after failing miserably. I have a job to get to and a party that weekend. I am not going to kill myself.
"So I am happy to tell you that you have passed your driving test - Albeit a mock" My driving instructor said.
"I'm sorry what?!" I exclaimed after a long silence ensued.
"You've passed. But you had some faults ... " My driving instructor said again for the second time, continuing this time to explain where I went wrong. I was sort of listening, but sort of not. I knew where I had fucked up on. A roundabout I had messed up my signalling on and a tad lack of lane discipline on roundabouts but other than that I had passed. I was happy. Very happy. Beaming with pride I drove the circuit once more and prayed I would have it again for my actual test, although with more than eleven more test routes the examiner could take me I am not holding my hopes too high. Ending my final lesson I took a moment to think if there was anything I wanted to ask my driving instructor. 'To think that the next time you sit in this car it will be for your actual fo' sho' driving test with a real examiner and a real outcome that will literally change my entire life as I know it.' I thought, and as surreal as that was I bid my driving instructor a farewell as hoped I would not have to see him after Thursday.
As I walked home from where I had parked at the end of my street, I could feel my face cracking in half with the strain of my mock-passed-driving-test induced smile. I showed Mr. Warehouse and he jumped up with joy, giving me a big cuddle all in the knowledge that he knew just how anxious and unprepared I felt less than a few hours before. But as I sit here today now, with less than two days, eleven hours and thirty-something minutes before I take my actual real life driving test I feel lots more confident and gladly it is confidence and not my normal cockiness or arrogance that usually surrounds anything else I do. Hopefully I pass first time as I did on my mock, but as ever I am knowledgable that I am a human and I cannot predict what will happen on the day. Hopefully I have a nice examiner and he is in a good mood, or she, and is laid the night before so they are nice and relaxed and like to pass little girls who are somewhat OK at driving.
Hopefully this time next week I can not only report on my passing but also on my party and all the birthday fun I have been up to. Ahh yes, next week will be very busy indeed.
'Til next time, Love A.Lou xx
Sitting in the car, dressed in Mr. Warehouse's tracksuit jogging bottoms, hoodie and my Bailey Button UGGs, I felt I needed an excuse for my unusually relaxed Sunday afternoon attire. 'Think women, think' I said to myself as I racked my brain trying to think of a valid excuse for being so slobby on what was a beautiful day.
"Sorry, Just got back from the Gym" I lied to my driving instructor. Don't know why I had to lie. He wouldn't have cared. I don't even own a Gym Membership let alone go to one. The closest I get to a gym is walking past on my way to a fast food outlet or another variant of a poor diet choice. Hmmm, Krispy Kreme!
Nevertheless I started my driving lesson well, pulling off and out of the residential areas surrounding my little home without a hitch. I figured that since this was going to be my last lesson I would wear my so-called 'lucky' shoes and hopefully they would give me the confidence I was so lacking in my driving lessons of late. Heading towards the test centre my instructor reminded me that I would be taking a mock examination on yesterday's bright Sunday afternoon. Starting off with the general knowledge questions I was asked about tyre pressure amongst other things and on asking how I check it my mind decided to just go blank. 'Kick them - If they spring back then their full enough? No that cannot be the right answer. Feel them with your hands? Oh god, why don't I know this?' I thought to myself. 'I know that there is that thing at the petrol stations that beeps when you have reached full capacity but surely that's not the right answer?' I again pondered. With no other option I gave it my best shot.
"Is it to feel it with your hands?" I said, knowing more so when it was said out loud was probably the worst response a testee has ever said. This was fully appreciated when my instructor repeated my ridiculous answer back to me. Expecting him to laugh out loud I waited patiently as he scribbled on the mock examination paperwork. 'Fuuuuuuuuuck'
Heart rate slightly increased, I started the engine of my dearest Beema and carried along the winding and bendy roads that ran throughout the heart of the Bedfordshire countryside. Carrying on through my mock test I managed all the roads including a busy dual carriageway, a three-point / turn in the road, a parallel park and even avoided what could have been a very serious crash. You see I was coming down a very narrow residential street that I have never encountered before and as I was approaching the end, already in first gear I slowed right down, more so for my own sake, being the first time I had taken that route before. Then, just before I was about to take the bend in question a green car came speeding round forcing me to slam on my breaks, stalling the car. Hands waving in the air and probably shouting obscenities, I ignored the arrogant driver that knew he was in the wrong and that obviously had been born without having to be a learner driver, for I cannot see any other reasoning for him acting in such an irrational and cock-chinned way to another fellow road user, especially given the speed he was going round the corner of a twenty-mile-an-hour zone.
Regardless I continued and successfully drove back to the test centre, pulling up outside and awaited the inevitable fate that would be I failed. 'This is what it is going to feel like babe. This is the blissful innocence of a naive learner driver on the bare brink of her test. Revel from it and enjoy the fact that your in the middle of the countryside and surrounded by trees to hang yourself in when you fail' I pepped myself. Just FYI though I am not a mental health risk - No matter what my close friends and family may say! I am fully sane and can assure you I would not be honestly that devastated after failing miserably. I have a job to get to and a party that weekend. I am not going to kill myself.
"So I am happy to tell you that you have passed your driving test - Albeit a mock" My driving instructor said.
"I'm sorry what?!" I exclaimed after a long silence ensued.
"You've passed. But you had some faults ... " My driving instructor said again for the second time, continuing this time to explain where I went wrong. I was sort of listening, but sort of not. I knew where I had fucked up on. A roundabout I had messed up my signalling on and a tad lack of lane discipline on roundabouts but other than that I had passed. I was happy. Very happy. Beaming with pride I drove the circuit once more and prayed I would have it again for my actual test, although with more than eleven more test routes the examiner could take me I am not holding my hopes too high. Ending my final lesson I took a moment to think if there was anything I wanted to ask my driving instructor. 'To think that the next time you sit in this car it will be for your actual fo' sho' driving test with a real examiner and a real outcome that will literally change my entire life as I know it.' I thought, and as surreal as that was I bid my driving instructor a farewell as hoped I would not have to see him after Thursday.
As I walked home from where I had parked at the end of my street, I could feel my face cracking in half with the strain of my mock-passed-driving-test induced smile. I showed Mr. Warehouse and he jumped up with joy, giving me a big cuddle all in the knowledge that he knew just how anxious and unprepared I felt less than a few hours before. But as I sit here today now, with less than two days, eleven hours and thirty-something minutes before I take my actual real life driving test I feel lots more confident and gladly it is confidence and not my normal cockiness or arrogance that usually surrounds anything else I do. Hopefully I pass first time as I did on my mock, but as ever I am knowledgable that I am a human and I cannot predict what will happen on the day. Hopefully I have a nice examiner and he is in a good mood, or she, and is laid the night before so they are nice and relaxed and like to pass little girls who are somewhat OK at driving.
Hopefully this time next week I can not only report on my passing but also on my party and all the birthday fun I have been up to. Ahh yes, next week will be very busy indeed.
'Til next time, Love A.Lou xx
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