Heyy,
Last week I spoke about the regret of not ever living in London and the city and the life that I could have imagined living if it weren't for different other life events that lead me on the path I am today. And yet again I sit here in regret.
Back in the Autumn of 2018, my Mr Warehouse proposed. I remember it so clearly, walking on ahead with my little winner following a fun dog show which our (now) eldest pooch (the only one at the time) won for coming first as "The dog that the judges would most like to take home". So in my own world was I, I didn't notice as Mr Warehouse came up alongside me and almost in slow motion, my boyfriend of nearly four-years knelt down on one knee and pulled out a grey box from his pocket. As if it was yesterday I recall how I felt as my mind adjusted to what my eyes were seeing, he opened the box only to reveal a beautiful White Gold Diamond ring. A part of me had not quite realised that this was it and instead was just thinking how nice it was that he had bought me a nice gift. Then I think everything caught up with me and as my gorgeously handsome, cute bottomed Mr Warehouse asked: "Will You Marry Me?"
After choosing the wrong size I had to re-pick my ring, mainly as they could only size up and down 2 levels and I needed more than that. I selected the beautiful Revere 9-carat White Gold Cubic Zirconia Oval Halo Ring, classic and elegant. After whizzing over to Stevenage to collect it in my size, I was overjoyed and couldn't stop staring at my hand for months. But soon enough the whirlwind had worn off and I found a new shiny thing to think about.
Back in the Summer of last year, I was sat in a meeting in early June and noticed a small spec of dust on the desk. I swiped it onto the floor, thinking nothing more of it. A little while later I ended up looking down and playing with my engagement ring. However, on closer inspection, I realised a stone was missing. Panicked I realised that the "speck of dust" was actually one of my stones! There I was, on all fours in this bloody sales meeting. I picked up the crystal and wrapped it in a piece of paper, stuffing it into my bra for safekeeping. Calling the store Mr Warehouse (and I) bought it from, I explained what had happened and asked if I could bring it in with a photo of the receipt that I had on my phone to be repaired. They said it would be fine and I brought it in that evening once I had finished. With weeks before we jetted off on our last holiday as an unmarried couple, I was itching to get it back.
Several weeks later I was days away from mine and Mr Warehouse's holiday and I was even more desperate to get it back to go on holiday with. It would be the first time it had been on holiday and would be the one and only time it would be seen on a beach, fore next time it would be accompanied by my wedding ring! Eeeek! But after calling several times I was told that the ring was not back yet and they would be in touch soon. I did have a contingency plan though. I had ordered a lab-created diamond ring from eBay that looked similar, although disappointingly it had not arrived in time for my holiday only adding to my heartache. However, once it had (eventually) arrived was not quite for me and so I sent it back, awaiting any day for my beloved ring to be back with me. And so, regrettably, I skipped off on holiday without my ring.
Coming back home from Malaga Mr Warehouse and I waited in the airport, ready to board our flight home, swollen and in pain with blisters and sores. I had a phone call from the store we sent the ring back to get repaired. Unfortunately, it would have happened that when the repairers went to fix the ring, it bowed and warped so much so that whilst they had been able to fix it, the repair was not guaranteed and that if any more stone fell out I would have to go through the whole six-eight week process again. I decided not to accept the repair and instead opted to have the ring returned and have a replacement, thoughts of the new shiny thing I had seen in the shops a few weeks before.
Truth be told I had fallen in love with a 9ct White Gold Cluster Ring. The claw set cushion design is a real beauty. Handset with DiamonFlash Cubic Zirconia it creates a ring of perfect proportions with lots of sparkle and style. A fabulous accessory for any outfit - Including my wedding dress. Lusting after it for a while I was still waiting to hear about my ring being returned, I couldn't help myself and after calling a local branch in Milton Keynes and being told that my exact size was in and was on sale, I dropped what I was doing (which was decorating our hallway at the time) and headed over. However, on making the half-hour round trip and paying for premium parking, I was more than annoyed to try on the ring and for it to barely get past my knuckle.
"This is not the correct ring size," I said to the sales assistant. She disagreed saying that of course, it is.
"I can assure you that this is not my ring size," I said again asking her this time to size it on her ring chart and, sure enough, it was wrong, coming up nearly three sizes too small. Fuming I tried to control myself in a shop busy with people, but explaining politely to the sales girl that I have come in especially for this and what it is simply not really acceptable to just say sorry and make an excuse that someone had labelled it incorrectly, especially when I had called in advance too. Nevertheless, the young girl helped by ordering the ring in, although not before trying to charge me more because I was ordering a "bigger size". I paid in full and left, sitting in my car before I left and typing out an angry tweet. Venting through the interwebs seems to help as I had a response within a few hours and was told that because of my troubles I would have my ring especially shipped in from the manufacturers directly and that I could collect that Friday.
What happened to the other original engagement ring? Well, whilst I loved it, I love this one. Although I should have listened to the doubt inside my head at the time. Writing in "Rings and Tings" that week I really had to ask myself if this new ring will have all the same significance and special feels as the OG. Several months down the line I can promise you that it does not. Silly old me back then thought "I mean of course it will look a little odd in photos and I will have to explain every time someone asks what happened to my old engagement ring, but this one is soooo sparkly and soooo beautiful it won't be hard for them to see why I fell in love with it." Oh how wrong I was.
I have since just spent pretty much the entire evening looking for this damned ring. The original of course. I am absolutely gutted though as Argos have stopped selling it, literally as of January 2020! Alas Revere 9-carat White Gold Cubic Zirconia Oval Halo Ring, you were the one and I was hasty to let you go for now I regret my decision and whilst I continue my search online for ex-models or ex-stock items, I can only hope I can find you item 724/8119 ...
'Til next time, Love A.Lou xx
Showing posts with label Engaged. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Engaged. Show all posts
Monday, 24 February 2020
Monday, 7 January 2019
Stuck in the Mud!
Evening one and all,
Following on from the festivities I have quite some to share with you all. Apologies for the absent nature, unfortunately with writing once a week, there would have come a time when the dates would have lay on a Christmas and New Years eve, both of which were spent drinking alcohol and eating copious amounts of chocolate and calorific foods that will probably lead me to death sooner or later. Nevertheless I have had a wonderful new years and Christmas, hope that yours also was pleasant? Mine was eventful, as it always is, lots of presents and gifts, family and friends to see and mingle with. Oh and my Dad got engaged to his girlfriend of eight years. How I feel about it? Lets just say I am taking a rain check and will be back with you soon ...
The first few days of the New Year and my Christmas break from work have been heavily occupied with Wedding Planning (and not of my Dads'). Finally we have booked a venue, a beautiful 'T-shaped' converted old school
in a small village (smaller than the one I live in now) near to the Church we plan to marry, Mr. Warehouse's family church that everyone in his family all bar a handful have declared they're vows. In all fairness it would have been nice to have it in my family church, you know since I am the one christened and all, however with Mr. Warehouse referring to it as "The Asylum" and its less than perfect track record of my parents divorce, I struggled to find its importance to have it there, especially with the 1970's styled outside - See here!
Now we have booked the venue the most important things come next. The Bar - Booked and we have even been able to book a free drink for everyone on arrival and even better; No charge for hiring! I suppose Mr. Warehouse and I now need to clothe ourselves, feed our guests and give them something to dance too!
With still so much left to plan and organise, Mr. Warehouse thought we would kick off the New Year in style and after meeting with old family friend Miss Bride about her hopefully securing us a beautiful and tasty wedding cake, my fiance and I hopped in the car and headed for a wedding fair we were given free tickets too at the very grand and beautiful Knebworth House. However with the invites and tickets being about as clear as mud (we'll get onto that later) Mr. Warehouse and I drove around for ages trying to look for this place. Gate after gate after gate after frigging access gate we got too was all shut up and closed off. Searching in vain for an alternative route just lead us to another closed off access through road and with one final go of it I was determined to find this fucking place!
However what I did not realised was that the postal code Mr. Warehouse had taken down from a sign nearby to the venue was literally in the middle of fucking no-where! going from a tarmac road with markings to a concrete with potholes for days. Following this and our "trusted" technology lead us to a a gravelly farm track with lumps and digs I thought the car would fall into. Poor Viv had more to contend with though as soon dirt lanes turned to barely-able-to-squeeze-through boggy tracks. With the middle of the road (if you can even call it that at this stage) high enough for me to feel the car scrapping its insides as we slowly pushed through the grassy mud, I could feel the car slipping and sliding, barely able to keep a grip on the boggy track. I thought at one stage we will be sat in the car, middle of feckin' no-where, teetering on a tractor made verge in the middle of the road.
After making a forty-point turn and scratching the paintwork no end, we ignored the blasted GoogleMaps Shite and headed towards civilisation, not before passing walkers with strange looks as we continued and squeezed down lumpy mud tracks with dips and ducks aplenty.
Arriving at the posh concreted road, winding through the beautiful countryside estate we had just been fucking around in for the last two hours we were certainly glad to arrive and was looking forward to the free champagne and cake tasting on offer. However on arrival there was barely enough time to even look at suppliers let alone get some much needed information from them before the fashion show started.
Sitting down and enjoying the show was lovely and with a Fanta in hand and Mr. Warehouse by my side I couldn't be happier and realised that this would soon just turn into another anecdote about that time we nearly got stuck in a field. Lots of white dresses and formal wear later we left the show to be greeted by most of the suppliers shutting up shop or stall and going home. Ha Ha gutted and disappointed were not even the words. And because of all of the fiasco earlier both Mr. Warehouse and my phones had died and so we had to try and navigate our way home and cancel the plans to pick up some much needed wedding essentials. Oh the drama, but maybe something to add to the grooms speech.
'Til next time, Love A.Lou xx
Following on from the festivities I have quite some to share with you all. Apologies for the absent nature, unfortunately with writing once a week, there would have come a time when the dates would have lay on a Christmas and New Years eve, both of which were spent drinking alcohol and eating copious amounts of chocolate and calorific foods that will probably lead me to death sooner or later. Nevertheless I have had a wonderful new years and Christmas, hope that yours also was pleasant? Mine was eventful, as it always is, lots of presents and gifts, family and friends to see and mingle with. Oh and my Dad got engaged to his girlfriend of eight years. How I feel about it? Lets just say I am taking a rain check and will be back with you soon ...
The first few days of the New Year and my Christmas break from work have been heavily occupied with Wedding Planning (and not of my Dads'). Finally we have booked a venue, a beautiful 'T-shaped' converted old school
in a small village (smaller than the one I live in now) near to the Church we plan to marry, Mr. Warehouse's family church that everyone in his family all bar a handful have declared they're vows. In all fairness it would have been nice to have it in my family church, you know since I am the one christened and all, however with Mr. Warehouse referring to it as "The Asylum" and its less than perfect track record of my parents divorce, I struggled to find its importance to have it there, especially with the 1970's styled outside - See here!
Now we have booked the venue the most important things come next. The Bar - Booked and we have even been able to book a free drink for everyone on arrival and even better; No charge for hiring! I suppose Mr. Warehouse and I now need to clothe ourselves, feed our guests and give them something to dance too!
With still so much left to plan and organise, Mr. Warehouse thought we would kick off the New Year in style and after meeting with old family friend Miss Bride about her hopefully securing us a beautiful and tasty wedding cake, my fiance and I hopped in the car and headed for a wedding fair we were given free tickets too at the very grand and beautiful Knebworth House. However with the invites and tickets being about as clear as mud (we'll get onto that later) Mr. Warehouse and I drove around for ages trying to look for this place. Gate after gate after gate after frigging access gate we got too was all shut up and closed off. Searching in vain for an alternative route just lead us to another closed off access through road and with one final go of it I was determined to find this fucking place!
However what I did not realised was that the postal code Mr. Warehouse had taken down from a sign nearby to the venue was literally in the middle of fucking no-where! going from a tarmac road with markings to a concrete with potholes for days. Following this and our "trusted" technology lead us to a a gravelly farm track with lumps and digs I thought the car would fall into. Poor Viv had more to contend with though as soon dirt lanes turned to barely-able-to-squeeze-through boggy tracks. With the middle of the road (if you can even call it that at this stage) high enough for me to feel the car scrapping its insides as we slowly pushed through the grassy mud, I could feel the car slipping and sliding, barely able to keep a grip on the boggy track. I thought at one stage we will be sat in the car, middle of feckin' no-where, teetering on a tractor made verge in the middle of the road.
After making a forty-point turn and scratching the paintwork no end, we ignored the blasted GoogleMaps Shite and headed towards civilisation, not before passing walkers with strange looks as we continued and squeezed down lumpy mud tracks with dips and ducks aplenty.
Arriving at the posh concreted road, winding through the beautiful countryside estate we had just been fucking around in for the last two hours we were certainly glad to arrive and was looking forward to the free champagne and cake tasting on offer. However on arrival there was barely enough time to even look at suppliers let alone get some much needed information from them before the fashion show started.
Sitting down and enjoying the show was lovely and with a Fanta in hand and Mr. Warehouse by my side I couldn't be happier and realised that this would soon just turn into another anecdote about that time we nearly got stuck in a field. Lots of white dresses and formal wear later we left the show to be greeted by most of the suppliers shutting up shop or stall and going home. Ha Ha gutted and disappointed were not even the words. And because of all of the fiasco earlier both Mr. Warehouse and my phones had died and so we had to try and navigate our way home and cancel the plans to pick up some much needed wedding essentials. Oh the drama, but maybe something to add to the grooms speech.
'Til next time, Love A.Lou xx
Monday, 3 December 2018
Blood Makes You Related, Love Makes You A Family
Hello,
Waking up on Saturday morning was probably the most relaxed I think I have had any morning waking up in my new home thus far. The last week or two had been strained to say the least and contributed to me losing my bag a few times with Mr Warehouse. Still in a bit of pain I was dropping him to work and picking him up every day which was starting to grate on me without having any of my own free time. Nevertheless a weekend away from it all and a quick calculation of our first mortgage payment and few bills that are coming in make it look and feel as though things will not be as tight as initially thought in the first few months of home ownership. Whilst I may well be math's dyslexic I am however quite good with working out financially whether something is a viable option or not, especially so when looking at our savings for the house and now going forward for the wedding.
Hearing my fiance watching TV downstairs probably with the dog by his side made me grin with happiness as I rolled over to welcome in the brightness from outside. Now that is not to say that Saturday was at all a gloriously sunny or beautiful day for weather. If anything it was Far flung from that and was overcast, grey, drizzly and quite windy. Perfect weather for a Gazebo! Knowing that Mr Warehouse had probably silenced my alarms a few hours ago it was certainly time to get out of bed. Trundling down the stairs, still in my pyjamas and rubbing my eyes and waking myself up along every step, I wondered about coffee, only to hear the Bae call in from the lounge down the hallway that he put the kettle on a few moments ago anticipating my arrival. Such a sweetie! I think that the only way this morning could have possibly been any better is if he had brought it to me in bed. But today was not a day for lounging around in your duvet with a coffee in hand. Oh No! Today was the day that it finally felt all so real. I was engaged. I was a home-owner. And I was about to celebrate it all with the ones I loved most.
Rushing around like a headless chicken, Mr. Warehouse and I didn't even stop for a cuppa or breakfast, soldiering through to put up the gazebo, lay out food, make the house presentable and decorate for a party! As the afternoon broke, we had our first guests, Momma and Pappa Tweedle-Dee. Unfortunately Miss Tweedle-Dee already had prior commitments with her cousins and so was unable to make it but I was so glad when her parents turned up to warm us into our new home as our first proper guests. Showing them round they kept saying how proud they were of me and also of my fiance and how lovely it all was.
Soon after the next set of guests arrived, my Auntie and eldest cousin. Again the house tour began and after about the third or fourth I was glad for Mr Warehouse to take over a little with the hostessing as I mingled with our house now full of guests. "OK so maybe a few too many invites went out" I thought as I pondered what would have happened if more of the people who were meant to come had not of dropped out. Where would they go?! Probably that gazebo! Door goes again and I think about how I swear there was a TV comedy sketch show about doors constantly going and people piling on in. Regardless I welcomed them all in, Nana's, Uncles, Aunties, Cousins and friends.
As the afternoon worn on so did the guests, and with every glass of Prosecco Mr. Warehouse topped me up with the more fuzzy I felt. Most of my side of the family stayed, a good majority of the afternoon and into the evening, mingling and chatting with each other and catching up after the more somber occasion of my grandfathers funeral earlier in the year. Taking a look around I was overwhelmed, as I always am with how many people really do love and support me. No matter what I do, or say or don't do even, they all love me unconditionally. Regardless of their opinions on what I wear or how I conduct my life they accept me for who I am and love and support me no matter what. That is truely what family is. Coming together to celebrate the good and comfort in the bad. It was at that moment I knew that I was content, at least for the time being and that I in a way had officially "made it". Out of everything that I have and are going through, I can honestly say that the hard work has paid off. Time to relax into our new home in time for Christmas ...
'Til next time, Love A.Lou xx
Waking up on Saturday morning was probably the most relaxed I think I have had any morning waking up in my new home thus far. The last week or two had been strained to say the least and contributed to me losing my bag a few times with Mr Warehouse. Still in a bit of pain I was dropping him to work and picking him up every day which was starting to grate on me without having any of my own free time. Nevertheless a weekend away from it all and a quick calculation of our first mortgage payment and few bills that are coming in make it look and feel as though things will not be as tight as initially thought in the first few months of home ownership. Whilst I may well be math's dyslexic I am however quite good with working out financially whether something is a viable option or not, especially so when looking at our savings for the house and now going forward for the wedding.
Hearing my fiance watching TV downstairs probably with the dog by his side made me grin with happiness as I rolled over to welcome in the brightness from outside. Now that is not to say that Saturday was at all a gloriously sunny or beautiful day for weather. If anything it was Far flung from that and was overcast, grey, drizzly and quite windy. Perfect weather for a Gazebo! Knowing that Mr Warehouse had probably silenced my alarms a few hours ago it was certainly time to get out of bed. Trundling down the stairs, still in my pyjamas and rubbing my eyes and waking myself up along every step, I wondered about coffee, only to hear the Bae call in from the lounge down the hallway that he put the kettle on a few moments ago anticipating my arrival. Such a sweetie! I think that the only way this morning could have possibly been any better is if he had brought it to me in bed. But today was not a day for lounging around in your duvet with a coffee in hand. Oh No! Today was the day that it finally felt all so real. I was engaged. I was a home-owner. And I was about to celebrate it all with the ones I loved most.
Rushing around like a headless chicken, Mr. Warehouse and I didn't even stop for a cuppa or breakfast, soldiering through to put up the gazebo, lay out food, make the house presentable and decorate for a party! As the afternoon broke, we had our first guests, Momma and Pappa Tweedle-Dee. Unfortunately Miss Tweedle-Dee already had prior commitments with her cousins and so was unable to make it but I was so glad when her parents turned up to warm us into our new home as our first proper guests. Showing them round they kept saying how proud they were of me and also of my fiance and how lovely it all was.
Soon after the next set of guests arrived, my Auntie and eldest cousin. Again the house tour began and after about the third or fourth I was glad for Mr Warehouse to take over a little with the hostessing as I mingled with our house now full of guests. "OK so maybe a few too many invites went out" I thought as I pondered what would have happened if more of the people who were meant to come had not of dropped out. Where would they go?! Probably that gazebo! Door goes again and I think about how I swear there was a TV comedy sketch show about doors constantly going and people piling on in. Regardless I welcomed them all in, Nana's, Uncles, Aunties, Cousins and friends.
As the afternoon worn on so did the guests, and with every glass of Prosecco Mr. Warehouse topped me up with the more fuzzy I felt. Most of my side of the family stayed, a good majority of the afternoon and into the evening, mingling and chatting with each other and catching up after the more somber occasion of my grandfathers funeral earlier in the year. Taking a look around I was overwhelmed, as I always am with how many people really do love and support me. No matter what I do, or say or don't do even, they all love me unconditionally. Regardless of their opinions on what I wear or how I conduct my life they accept me for who I am and love and support me no matter what. That is truely what family is. Coming together to celebrate the good and comfort in the bad. It was at that moment I knew that I was content, at least for the time being and that I in a way had officially "made it". Out of everything that I have and are going through, I can honestly say that the hard work has paid off. Time to relax into our new home in time for Christmas ...
'Til next time, Love A.Lou xx
Monday, 29 October 2018
Beautiful Nightmare
Evening Guys,
On closing my eyes I have somehow been transported to a district that I have never been to before. Down a single country Lane surrounded by trees and bushes and on the opposite side of the road to where I was stood I could see the rolling countryside and disappearing sun. Mr. Warehouse appeared soon after and we entered the Cottage-Barn type venue to have a look around. Looking around however I couldn't help but get the feeling that we were either being watched or preyed upon. As my fiance and I wandered around the dark wood stained walls and buildings, I felt myself constantly looking over my shoulder. It wasn't long before I saw him. Mr. Workaholic.
Making some sort of excuse I left Mr Warehouse to look around the remaining of the buildings and out houses, following Mr Workaholic into a quieter area of the estate I asked him rather frantically what an earth he thought he was doing here.
"I needed to see you" He muttered, hushed so as not to be discovered.
"I am a engaged woman now and you have no right turn up here - What were you thinking?" I demanded, terrified about Mr Warehouse made come along and think that something was going on when it was not. As Mr. Workaholic took me further away from my husband to be, my Ex and I snuck around the lush gardens, fountains and water features of the grounds. Mr Workaholic continued his soliloquy saying that he was unable to let me go ahead with the wedding.
"This should have been somewhere that we would have been at time at the knot, not you and someone else. I cant let you go through with this - Please lets try again?" Mr Workaholic cooed. This was beginning to get dangerous as I could feel myself getting hotter as the moments passed. I continued to feel as though I was cheating on Mr Warehouse even though I had done nothing wrong. Just being in the same company and presence as Mr Workaholic was just as potent as before and as time went on talking about how we used to be I struggled to keep my cool.
And as I walked closely with Mr Workaholic through the dark Forest like environment I wondered why. Why now huh?! Why would he choose this moment or this time in my life when I am happy and settled, ready to start a new beginning with someone to come back into my life and want to start again. It was Mr Workaholic that ended it all between us! Now don't get me wrong it wasn't a relationship that ended badly in the sense that there was infidelity or anything, just that Mr. Workaholic felt there was more out there than me and he wanted to find it all out. As we stopped walking amongst some trees, Mr. Workaholic turned to me and asked me to leave it all behind. As the raging battle inside my head continued, I try to reason with myself. Yes Mr. Workaholic was a brilliant lover back in the day, the best maybe - or so I thought at the time. But I have to remember that Mr. Workaholic was also the same person that left me screaming and begging in absolute turmoil as he drove away, leaving me in the home you used to share with a shattered life and a broken heart. I felt so stupid. Why should I be getting emotionally involved in something that had ended over six years ago? My memoirs started to flood back and were a stark and brutally honest reminder of how things genuinely used to be - Play fights that got out of hand, annoying each other and Mr. Workaholic putting me down or making horrid comments about me - Something Mr Warehouse would never do. But there were also laughs and giggles and happiness.
"I am an engaged woman and I'm happily in a relationship where I mean something to someone and I to them. I cant just throw it all away like you did." I said, appalled at the notion I had been wanting for so long all them years ago. Mr. Workaholic decided to call it off in late Spring, nearly seven years ago and I suppose I never really got over it totally but it was those darker thoughts and feelings I was desperately trying to cling on to so as to hold off the passion and lust I still felt raging up inside me. But it was too much. Reasoning and promising me that things would be different this time, Mr. Workaholic leaned in closer and we passionately kissed. Shocked, horrified and stunned I backed away and surprised myself by saying "OK"
I needed to let my fiance know that the wedding was off and the engagement was over. Finding my way back to the dark wood stained barn I found Mr Warehouse wondering where I was standing around and waiting for me. I felt awful as I left Mr Workaholic in the shadows, but not nearly as awful as I would feel having to go through with what I was about to do. An emotionally charged goodbye ensued with me explaining it that it was simply not Mr Warehouse that was to blame and that this was something that I had selfishly wanted for some time.
"I love you" I said as I left, saying goodbye to the same distraught and heartbroken face that I knew only too well.
Returning to Mr Workaholic I wondered if I have done the right thing by going back to him. It had not worked once before and would give good reason to it not working again second time around. Nevertheless I pushed all of this to the back of my mind as I left Mr Warehouse to gather his things to leave. Hours seemed to woosh past in a rush of excitement and giddiness. Yet I felt like there was something ever so foreboding. Something was not right. Then suddenly I knew. Standing with bags packed and ready to go in Mr Workaholic's girlie white hatchback I knew I couldn't do this. Running all the way back to the almost black, wood-stained barn I found Mr Warehouse packing his bags and ready to leave, tail well and truly between his legs. And like in some kind of Hollywood movie I ran and embraced Mr. Warehouse as hard as I could never to let go again. Kissing and holding each other I began apologising and telling Mr. Warehouse that it will never happen again that he was the only one; The one and only for me.
It was not long after this that I suppose I awoke from it all. In the knowledge that it was just a weird dream, almost nightmarish in its approach that I was unable to wake from. In my half-sleep-slumber I was forced to live up to the reality of my subconscious thoughts. Although in reality it was a Monday morning and Mr Warehouse was in no mood to be hearing of my fantastical dreams, no matter how scarily thought provoking or poignant. I suppose I will save that for another day ...
'Til next time, Love A.Lou xx
On closing my eyes I have somehow been transported to a district that I have never been to before. Down a single country Lane surrounded by trees and bushes and on the opposite side of the road to where I was stood I could see the rolling countryside and disappearing sun. Mr. Warehouse appeared soon after and we entered the Cottage-Barn type venue to have a look around. Looking around however I couldn't help but get the feeling that we were either being watched or preyed upon. As my fiance and I wandered around the dark wood stained walls and buildings, I felt myself constantly looking over my shoulder. It wasn't long before I saw him. Mr. Workaholic.
Making some sort of excuse I left Mr Warehouse to look around the remaining of the buildings and out houses, following Mr Workaholic into a quieter area of the estate I asked him rather frantically what an earth he thought he was doing here.
"I needed to see you" He muttered, hushed so as not to be discovered.
"I am a engaged woman now and you have no right turn up here - What were you thinking?" I demanded, terrified about Mr Warehouse made come along and think that something was going on when it was not. As Mr. Workaholic took me further away from my husband to be, my Ex and I snuck around the lush gardens, fountains and water features of the grounds. Mr Workaholic continued his soliloquy saying that he was unable to let me go ahead with the wedding.
"This should have been somewhere that we would have been at time at the knot, not you and someone else. I cant let you go through with this - Please lets try again?" Mr Workaholic cooed. This was beginning to get dangerous as I could feel myself getting hotter as the moments passed. I continued to feel as though I was cheating on Mr Warehouse even though I had done nothing wrong. Just being in the same company and presence as Mr Workaholic was just as potent as before and as time went on talking about how we used to be I struggled to keep my cool.
And as I walked closely with Mr Workaholic through the dark Forest like environment I wondered why. Why now huh?! Why would he choose this moment or this time in my life when I am happy and settled, ready to start a new beginning with someone to come back into my life and want to start again. It was Mr Workaholic that ended it all between us! Now don't get me wrong it wasn't a relationship that ended badly in the sense that there was infidelity or anything, just that Mr. Workaholic felt there was more out there than me and he wanted to find it all out. As we stopped walking amongst some trees, Mr. Workaholic turned to me and asked me to leave it all behind. As the raging battle inside my head continued, I try to reason with myself. Yes Mr. Workaholic was a brilliant lover back in the day, the best maybe - or so I thought at the time. But I have to remember that Mr. Workaholic was also the same person that left me screaming and begging in absolute turmoil as he drove away, leaving me in the home you used to share with a shattered life and a broken heart. I felt so stupid. Why should I be getting emotionally involved in something that had ended over six years ago? My memoirs started to flood back and were a stark and brutally honest reminder of how things genuinely used to be - Play fights that got out of hand, annoying each other and Mr. Workaholic putting me down or making horrid comments about me - Something Mr Warehouse would never do. But there were also laughs and giggles and happiness.
"I am an engaged woman and I'm happily in a relationship where I mean something to someone and I to them. I cant just throw it all away like you did." I said, appalled at the notion I had been wanting for so long all them years ago. Mr. Workaholic decided to call it off in late Spring, nearly seven years ago and I suppose I never really got over it totally but it was those darker thoughts and feelings I was desperately trying to cling on to so as to hold off the passion and lust I still felt raging up inside me. But it was too much. Reasoning and promising me that things would be different this time, Mr. Workaholic leaned in closer and we passionately kissed. Shocked, horrified and stunned I backed away and surprised myself by saying "OK"
I needed to let my fiance know that the wedding was off and the engagement was over. Finding my way back to the dark wood stained barn I found Mr Warehouse wondering where I was standing around and waiting for me. I felt awful as I left Mr Workaholic in the shadows, but not nearly as awful as I would feel having to go through with what I was about to do. An emotionally charged goodbye ensued with me explaining it that it was simply not Mr Warehouse that was to blame and that this was something that I had selfishly wanted for some time.
"I love you" I said as I left, saying goodbye to the same distraught and heartbroken face that I knew only too well.
Returning to Mr Workaholic I wondered if I have done the right thing by going back to him. It had not worked once before and would give good reason to it not working again second time around. Nevertheless I pushed all of this to the back of my mind as I left Mr Warehouse to gather his things to leave. Hours seemed to woosh past in a rush of excitement and giddiness. Yet I felt like there was something ever so foreboding. Something was not right. Then suddenly I knew. Standing with bags packed and ready to go in Mr Workaholic's girlie white hatchback I knew I couldn't do this. Running all the way back to the almost black, wood-stained barn I found Mr Warehouse packing his bags and ready to leave, tail well and truly between his legs. And like in some kind of Hollywood movie I ran and embraced Mr. Warehouse as hard as I could never to let go again. Kissing and holding each other I began apologising and telling Mr. Warehouse that it will never happen again that he was the only one; The one and only for me.
It was not long after this that I suppose I awoke from it all. In the knowledge that it was just a weird dream, almost nightmarish in its approach that I was unable to wake from. In my half-sleep-slumber I was forced to live up to the reality of my subconscious thoughts. Although in reality it was a Monday morning and Mr Warehouse was in no mood to be hearing of my fantastical dreams, no matter how scarily thought provoking or poignant. I suppose I will save that for another day ...
'Til next time, Love A.Lou xx
Monday, 8 October 2018
Nightmares and Reality!
Hello,
So after another eventful weekend, what with winning first prize in a dog show, getting engaged and all, I was certainly ready to spend some quality time with family and friends. As I spent most of Saturday popping in to see different family members gloating and showing off my shiny glittery new engagement ring. Honestly as miserable as the weather was outside in the cold and rain I was delighted in sharing my news with both of my Grandma's and the look on their faces was absolutely priceless and something I will never forget.
Bidding farewell to the family I headed over to Miss Tweedle-Dee's place, only an hour and a half late or so! With a haunted Halloween Farm to wander around after dark we were sure to be getting our skates on as dusk slowly slipped into night. Pulling into the farm entrance I rolled over the security gate and felt something bump my tyres. Thinking nothing more of it than the cattle-gate keeping the animals in and the humans out, Miss Tweedle-Dee, Mr Warehouse and I prepared to get our Spooky on as we waited patiently in line in the freezing cold ready to scare our socks off.
The event we were going to was still in its infancy I suppose really because it had only been running for a few years, however the farm itself was a well-established hotspot for families and children especially during half terms for the local area and I myself had attended to the farm when I was much younger. The website advertises itself as "5 huge Horror Mazes with live creatures at every twist & turn". The Howl is open for 12-nights only and we were some of the first guests through the doors on Saturday evening. With all the amenities that you would expect from a farm, the evening also consisted of a Bar next to the canteen with Live Music plus some tasty looking Street Food including mine and Mr Warehouse's favorite - Hog Roast!
Inside "The Attic" with the creaking floorboards was a disturbing mix between your grandma's neglected loved and a hotel that had been left to crumble and I was certainly spooked. When Miss Tweedle-Dee, Mr Warehouse and I entered "Red" in the woods, with enough creatures to make your skin crawl we got ready to twist, turn and run for our lives and we certainly didn't hang about to chat with the creepy actors.
Probably the creepiest and certainly the most popular of all five mazes was "The Big Top". You see, these jesters are not clowns that deals in laughter, they prefers screams and I’ll remember the terrifying events of when Mr Warehouse's fun and games went horribly wrong when the sadistic fuck decided to tell one of the little clowns holding a red balloon that I was indeed Globophobic - A once crippling fear of balloons that I now managed by refusing to touch, feel, or go near a balloon for fear it will pop! With creepy clowns at every pitch black twist and turn, it’s not one for the faint hearted but for some odd reason my fiance thought that it would be a fantastic idea to cure me off my Globophobia by telling the little sadist clown of my innate fear to which she proceeded to get too close for comfort and burst the balloon right in my face! To be fair I think I handled it quite well and in a calm and collected way, putting fear and terror aside in order to just get through the last few moments of the horror maze.
The boys in "Squealer’s yard" maze worked hard to bring out some of the most deep rooted fears placing me right inside the very scenes from the Chainsaw Massacre movies, complete with a terrifying chase accompanied by the soundtrack of a live chainsaw. Seeing my bestest friend in the whole wide world, Miss Tweedle-Dee, getting targeted, cornered and potentially buzzed into pieces was all a little realistic for my liking but definitely added to be adrenaline and terrifying fear that I felt. This was also mimicked by the "Shed" - A place where the unwanted new arrivals go!
Certainly a place that we enjoyed thoroughly and definitely somewhere that we will be returning this time next year in the run up to my favourite time of year! Although on pulling out of the car park in the gravelly darkness, I could have that Vivienne just didn't feel right. Swaying heavily to the right hand side of the road I struggled to keep control of the car in my efforts to get home. I knew that my traction had been out for quite some time probably since I had played "the beep beep wave game" back when Mr Warehouse and I attended to our spa day with Loch-Stress Monster, but this was bad! As we approached the security gate I saw something metal sticking out of the gravel and felt something grunch my tyres once again. Pulling over on the side of the dark and lonely country road, I hoped that what I thought it was was not reality.
Although as I turned off the engine and stepped out of the car to look at my tires I knew instantly that they were both flat. With not many options left apart from calling recovery for simply driving back to Miss Tweedle-Dee's house less than four miles away I took the latter option reaching speeds of twenty-miles-an-hour all the way home with my hazards blinking in the darkness. Arriving back at what I have come now to see as my second family home, I called the recovery people and within the hour they were out and collecting myself and Mr Warehouse to recover us back home, safe and sound.
Sunday was supposed to be a day of lovingly holding hands walking around a wedding fayre and sipping Prosecco cocktails, however with two flat tires absolutely dead to the bone and a very few mobile tyre specialists or mechanics open on a Sunday, my hopes for a relaxing afternoon wondering around a nice wedding fayre was slowly slipping away. However, after giving it one last shot I called a local garage I knew I would be able to drive to if they couldn't come out to me. Low and behold they were open and with that I threw on some clothes, did my hair and make-up, dashing out the door with my new Fiance in toe. £120 later and three new tires later, Mr Warehouse and I were on our way to our first wedding fayre as a fully-fledged, legitimate Bride and Groom to be and we did in the end spend our afternoon wandering around, eating cake samples we will never buy into, sipping bubbly we will steal the idea from and indulging in some wedding fantasies of our own!
'Til next time, Love A.Lou xx
So after another eventful weekend, what with winning first prize in a dog show, getting engaged and all, I was certainly ready to spend some quality time with family and friends. As I spent most of Saturday popping in to see different family members gloating and showing off my shiny glittery new engagement ring. Honestly as miserable as the weather was outside in the cold and rain I was delighted in sharing my news with both of my Grandma's and the look on their faces was absolutely priceless and something I will never forget.
Bidding farewell to the family I headed over to Miss Tweedle-Dee's place, only an hour and a half late or so! With a haunted Halloween Farm to wander around after dark we were sure to be getting our skates on as dusk slowly slipped into night. Pulling into the farm entrance I rolled over the security gate and felt something bump my tyres. Thinking nothing more of it than the cattle-gate keeping the animals in and the humans out, Miss Tweedle-Dee, Mr Warehouse and I prepared to get our Spooky on as we waited patiently in line in the freezing cold ready to scare our socks off.
The event we were going to was still in its infancy I suppose really because it had only been running for a few years, however the farm itself was a well-established hotspot for families and children especially during half terms for the local area and I myself had attended to the farm when I was much younger. The website advertises itself as "5 huge Horror Mazes with live creatures at every twist & turn". The Howl is open for 12-nights only and we were some of the first guests through the doors on Saturday evening. With all the amenities that you would expect from a farm, the evening also consisted of a Bar next to the canteen with Live Music plus some tasty looking Street Food including mine and Mr Warehouse's favorite - Hog Roast!
Inside "The Attic" with the creaking floorboards was a disturbing mix between your grandma's neglected loved and a hotel that had been left to crumble and I was certainly spooked. When Miss Tweedle-Dee, Mr Warehouse and I entered "Red" in the woods, with enough creatures to make your skin crawl we got ready to twist, turn and run for our lives and we certainly didn't hang about to chat with the creepy actors.
Probably the creepiest and certainly the most popular of all five mazes was "The Big Top". You see, these jesters are not clowns that deals in laughter, they prefers screams and I’ll remember the terrifying events of when Mr Warehouse's fun and games went horribly wrong when the sadistic fuck decided to tell one of the little clowns holding a red balloon that I was indeed Globophobic - A once crippling fear of balloons that I now managed by refusing to touch, feel, or go near a balloon for fear it will pop! With creepy clowns at every pitch black twist and turn, it’s not one for the faint hearted but for some odd reason my fiance thought that it would be a fantastic idea to cure me off my Globophobia by telling the little sadist clown of my innate fear to which she proceeded to get too close for comfort and burst the balloon right in my face! To be fair I think I handled it quite well and in a calm and collected way, putting fear and terror aside in order to just get through the last few moments of the horror maze.
The boys in "Squealer’s yard" maze worked hard to bring out some of the most deep rooted fears placing me right inside the very scenes from the Chainsaw Massacre movies, complete with a terrifying chase accompanied by the soundtrack of a live chainsaw. Seeing my bestest friend in the whole wide world, Miss Tweedle-Dee, getting targeted, cornered and potentially buzzed into pieces was all a little realistic for my liking but definitely added to be adrenaline and terrifying fear that I felt. This was also mimicked by the "Shed" - A place where the unwanted new arrivals go!
Certainly a place that we enjoyed thoroughly and definitely somewhere that we will be returning this time next year in the run up to my favourite time of year! Although on pulling out of the car park in the gravelly darkness, I could have that Vivienne just didn't feel right. Swaying heavily to the right hand side of the road I struggled to keep control of the car in my efforts to get home. I knew that my traction had been out for quite some time probably since I had played "the beep beep wave game" back when Mr Warehouse and I attended to our spa day with Loch-Stress Monster, but this was bad! As we approached the security gate I saw something metal sticking out of the gravel and felt something grunch my tyres once again. Pulling over on the side of the dark and lonely country road, I hoped that what I thought it was was not reality.
Although as I turned off the engine and stepped out of the car to look at my tires I knew instantly that they were both flat. With not many options left apart from calling recovery for simply driving back to Miss Tweedle-Dee's house less than four miles away I took the latter option reaching speeds of twenty-miles-an-hour all the way home with my hazards blinking in the darkness. Arriving back at what I have come now to see as my second family home, I called the recovery people and within the hour they were out and collecting myself and Mr Warehouse to recover us back home, safe and sound.
Sunday was supposed to be a day of lovingly holding hands walking around a wedding fayre and sipping Prosecco cocktails, however with two flat tires absolutely dead to the bone and a very few mobile tyre specialists or mechanics open on a Sunday, my hopes for a relaxing afternoon wondering around a nice wedding fayre was slowly slipping away. However, after giving it one last shot I called a local garage I knew I would be able to drive to if they couldn't come out to me. Low and behold they were open and with that I threw on some clothes, did my hair and make-up, dashing out the door with my new Fiance in toe. £120 later and three new tires later, Mr Warehouse and I were on our way to our first wedding fayre as a fully-fledged, legitimate Bride and Groom to be and we did in the end spend our afternoon wandering around, eating cake samples we will never buy into, sipping bubbly we will steal the idea from and indulging in some wedding fantasies of our own!
'Til next time, Love A.Lou xx
Monday, 1 October 2018
A Wooded Car Park and A BIG Surprise!
Evening,
Locking my car in an area of Bedford which is renowned for its poor reputation, I walked past and tried to hide the fact that I was anxious about leaving my beloved Vivienne in front of a gang of "Youts". My therapy Sessions were actually going really well at The Amicus Trust. Meeting my psychologist again I realised that I was quite comfortable in his presence with his friendly and easy nature. As before I was immediately relaxed and he offering me a cup of coffee which he always did now we sat down at the large wooden table next to the large window, hidden by the blinds, I could still hear the busy street outside. As we began to dive into my complex tale I watched as something sparkly caught my eye.
"I suppose it all started yesterday morning really" I opened up.
Sunday morning started like like any other as Mr Warehouse got up and ready to go and watch his nephew play football. Rolling over I admired my other half's bottom, clad in tight boxers and not much else. Those were the moments I enjoyed in the morning, well that and the next couple of hours of uninterrupted TV crap to watch with the dog and a cup of coffee. Settling in for another episode of Teen Mom UK, I heard the familiar rumble of a motorbike as it zoomed up the side gate. Assuming my morning binge was over I got dressed and ready to go and start our day. Walking Pooch was first on the agenda and we decided that since it was a little chilly we would take her to her favourite spot around by a local lake in a local country park.
Pulling into the parking lot we saw a sign for a fun charity dog show and after begging Mr Warehouse we went to have a little look around. After further persuasion we decided to get her to do some agility which she loved. Walking around some of the stalls I passed one of the announcers and asked about some of the shows and contests that they were hosting. The organiser explained that this was the last segment of the show and that it was "The dog that the judges would most like to take home". Throwing caution to the wind and not even asking my Beau if I could borrow his dog for my own self gratification, Pooch and I headed for the ring and trotted round as though we will Pro's at Crufts. As I looked around at the rest of the competition I thought that it would be very unlikely we would win, especially when we were up against fluffy dogs and cute puppies that were less than a few weeks old.
As they counted down the numbers from fifth, fourth, third and second it did not cross my mind that we could be next and yet there was the judge calling out my name and the Pooch to come and collect our prize for coming first as "The dog that the judges would most like to take home". Winning an adorable rosette I proudly pinned it to our fur-babies collar and walked around proud as punch. After all of that excitement, Mr Warehouse, the Pooch and I decided to take a walk in some woodland near to the car and enjoy the autumnal weather before the rain hammered it down.
Walking on ahead with my little winner I didn't notice as Mr Warehouse came up alongside me. Almost in slow motion, my boyfriend of nearly four-years knelt down on one knee and pulled out a grey box from his pocket. As my mind attempting to buffer and load what my eyes were seeing, he opened the box only to reveal a beautiful White Gold Diamond ring. A part of me had not quite realised that this was it and instead was just thinking how nice it was that he had bought me a nice gift. Then I think everything caught up with me and as my gorgeously handsome, cute bottomed Mr Warehouse asked "Will You Marry Me?"
Silence ensued as I took in everything that was happening around me and soaked up every moment that this was. It was not in front of the Disneyland Castle and it certainly was not in the airport surrounded by unfamiliar faces and people I have never met or will ever meet, and yet it was in the most special place I think I probably would have never picked. There we all were, our little family on a woodland walk in a country park where we spent most of our weekend walking our beloved dog. Welling up, I expleted several times before asking if this was for real and moments later after understanding that this definitely was for real and not just a bad-tasting joke I of course said yes!
Since that moment yesterday afternoon in a wooded car park, I have gotten over the shock slightly and that I will one day be a bride and whilst it still hasn't quite settled in that I now have a fiance, since Mr Warehouse said those four little words I finally feel complete. No longer do I need to question if this is it or if there is something else better out there. I already know that this is as good as it gets. Turns out that Pooch wasn't the only one who won a prize that Autumn Sunday Afternoon, I won the best prize of all ... A Husband-to-be!
'Til next time, Love A.Lou xx
Locking my car in an area of Bedford which is renowned for its poor reputation, I walked past and tried to hide the fact that I was anxious about leaving my beloved Vivienne in front of a gang of "Youts". My therapy Sessions were actually going really well at The Amicus Trust. Meeting my psychologist again I realised that I was quite comfortable in his presence with his friendly and easy nature. As before I was immediately relaxed and he offering me a cup of coffee which he always did now we sat down at the large wooden table next to the large window, hidden by the blinds, I could still hear the busy street outside. As we began to dive into my complex tale I watched as something sparkly caught my eye.
"I suppose it all started yesterday morning really" I opened up.
Sunday morning started like like any other as Mr Warehouse got up and ready to go and watch his nephew play football. Rolling over I admired my other half's bottom, clad in tight boxers and not much else. Those were the moments I enjoyed in the morning, well that and the next couple of hours of uninterrupted TV crap to watch with the dog and a cup of coffee. Settling in for another episode of Teen Mom UK, I heard the familiar rumble of a motorbike as it zoomed up the side gate. Assuming my morning binge was over I got dressed and ready to go and start our day. Walking Pooch was first on the agenda and we decided that since it was a little chilly we would take her to her favourite spot around by a local lake in a local country park.
Pulling into the parking lot we saw a sign for a fun charity dog show and after begging Mr Warehouse we went to have a little look around. After further persuasion we decided to get her to do some agility which she loved. Walking around some of the stalls I passed one of the announcers and asked about some of the shows and contests that they were hosting. The organiser explained that this was the last segment of the show and that it was "The dog that the judges would most like to take home". Throwing caution to the wind and not even asking my Beau if I could borrow his dog for my own self gratification, Pooch and I headed for the ring and trotted round as though we will Pro's at Crufts. As I looked around at the rest of the competition I thought that it would be very unlikely we would win, especially when we were up against fluffy dogs and cute puppies that were less than a few weeks old.
As they counted down the numbers from fifth, fourth, third and second it did not cross my mind that we could be next and yet there was the judge calling out my name and the Pooch to come and collect our prize for coming first as "The dog that the judges would most like to take home". Winning an adorable rosette I proudly pinned it to our fur-babies collar and walked around proud as punch. After all of that excitement, Mr Warehouse, the Pooch and I decided to take a walk in some woodland near to the car and enjoy the autumnal weather before the rain hammered it down.
Walking on ahead with my little winner I didn't notice as Mr Warehouse came up alongside me. Almost in slow motion, my boyfriend of nearly four-years knelt down on one knee and pulled out a grey box from his pocket. As my mind attempting to buffer and load what my eyes were seeing, he opened the box only to reveal a beautiful White Gold Diamond ring. A part of me had not quite realised that this was it and instead was just thinking how nice it was that he had bought me a nice gift. Then I think everything caught up with me and as my gorgeously handsome, cute bottomed Mr Warehouse asked "Will You Marry Me?"
Silence ensued as I took in everything that was happening around me and soaked up every moment that this was. It was not in front of the Disneyland Castle and it certainly was not in the airport surrounded by unfamiliar faces and people I have never met or will ever meet, and yet it was in the most special place I think I probably would have never picked. There we all were, our little family on a woodland walk in a country park where we spent most of our weekend walking our beloved dog. Welling up, I expleted several times before asking if this was for real and moments later after understanding that this definitely was for real and not just a bad-tasting joke I of course said yes!
Since that moment yesterday afternoon in a wooded car park, I have gotten over the shock slightly and that I will one day be a bride and whilst it still hasn't quite settled in that I now have a fiance, since Mr Warehouse said those four little words I finally feel complete. No longer do I need to question if this is it or if there is something else better out there. I already know that this is as good as it gets. Turns out that Pooch wasn't the only one who won a prize that Autumn Sunday Afternoon, I won the best prize of all ... A Husband-to-be!
'Til next time, Love A.Lou xx
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