Nightmares and Reality!

Hello, 

So after another eventful weekend, what with winning first prize in a dog show, getting engaged and all, I was certainly ready to spend some quality time with family and friends. As I spent most of Saturday popping in to see different family members gloating and showing off my shiny glittery new engagement ring. Honestly as miserable as the weather was outside in the cold and rain I was delighted in sharing my news with both of my Grandma's and the look on their faces was absolutely priceless and something I will never forget. 

Bidding farewell to the family I headed over to Miss Tweedle-Dee's place, only an hour and a half late or so! With a haunted Halloween Farm to wander around after dark we were sure to be getting our skates on as dusk slowly slipped into night. Pulling into the farm entrance I rolled over the security gate and felt something bump my tyres. Thinking nothing more of it than the cattle-gate keeping the animals in and the humans out, Miss Tweedle-Dee, Mr Warehouse and I prepared to get our Spooky on as we waited patiently in line in the freezing cold ready to scare our socks off. 

The event we were going to was still in its infancy I suppose really because it had only been running for a few years, however the farm itself was a well-established hotspot for families and children especially during half terms for the local area and I myself had attended to the farm when I was much younger. The website advertises itself as "5 huge Horror Mazes with live creatures at every twist & turn". The Howl is open for 12-nights only and we were some of the first guests through the doors on Saturday evening. With all the amenities that you would expect from a farm, the evening also consisted of a Bar next to the canteen with Live Music plus some tasty looking Street Food including mine and Mr Warehouse's favorite - Hog Roast!

Inside "The Attic" with the creaking floorboards was a disturbing mix between your grandma's neglected loved and a hotel that had been left to crumble and I was certainly spooked. When Miss Tweedle-Dee, Mr Warehouse and I entered "Red" in the woods, with enough creatures to make your skin crawl we got ready to twist, turn and run for our lives and we certainly didn't hang about to chat with the creepy actors. 

Probably the creepiest and certainly the most popular of all five mazes was "The Big Top". You see, these jesters are not clowns that deals in laughter, they prefers screams and I’ll remember the terrifying events of when Mr Warehouse's fun and games went horribly wrong when the sadistic fuck decided to tell one of the little clowns holding a red balloon that I was indeed Globophobic - A once crippling fear of balloons that I now managed by refusing to touch, feel, or go near a balloon for fear it will pop! With creepy clowns at every pitch black twist and turn, it’s not one for the faint hearted but for some odd reason my fiance thought that it would be a fantastic idea to cure me off my Globophobia by telling the little sadist clown of my innate fear to which she proceeded to get too close for comfort and burst the balloon right in my face! To be fair I think I handled it quite well and in a calm and collected way, putting fear and terror aside in order to just get through the last few moments of the horror maze. 

The boys in "Squealer’s yard" maze worked hard to bring out some of the most deep rooted fears placing me right inside the very scenes from the Chainsaw Massacre movies, complete with a terrifying chase accompanied by the soundtrack of a live chainsaw. Seeing my bestest friend in the whole wide world, Miss Tweedle-Dee, getting targeted, cornered and potentially buzzed into pieces was all a little realistic for my liking but definitely added to be adrenaline and terrifying fear that I felt. This was also mimicked by the "Shed" - A place where the unwanted new arrivals go! 

Certainly a place that we enjoyed thoroughly and definitely somewhere that we will be returning this time next year in the run up to my favourite time of year! Although on pulling out of the car park in the gravelly darkness, I could have that Vivienne just didn't feel right. Swaying heavily to the right hand side of the road I struggled to keep control of the car in my efforts to get home. I knew that my traction had been out for quite some time probably since I had played "the beep beep wave game" back when Mr Warehouse and I attended to our spa day with Loch-Stress Monster, but this was bad! As we approached the security gate I saw something metal sticking out of the gravel and felt something grunch my tyres once again. Pulling over on the side of the dark and lonely country road, I hoped that what I thought it was was not reality. 

Although as I turned off the engine and stepped out of the car to look at my tires I knew instantly that they were both flat. With not many options left apart from calling recovery for simply driving back to Miss Tweedle-Dee's house less than four miles away I took the latter option reaching speeds of twenty-miles-an-hour all the way home with my hazards blinking in the darkness. Arriving back at what I have come now to see as my second family home, I called the recovery people and within the hour they were out and collecting myself and Mr Warehouse to recover us back home, safe and sound. 

Sunday was supposed to be a day of lovingly holding hands walking around a wedding fayre and sipping Prosecco cocktails, however with two flat tires absolutely dead to the bone and a very few mobile tyre specialists or mechanics open on a Sunday, my hopes for a relaxing afternoon wondering around a nice wedding fayre was slowly slipping away. However, after giving it one last shot I called a local garage I knew I would be able to drive to if they couldn't come out to me. Low and behold they were open and with that I threw on some clothes, did my hair and make-up, dashing out the door with my new Fiance in toe. £120 later and three new tires later, Mr Warehouse and I were on our way to our first wedding fayre as a fully-fledged, legitimate Bride and Groom to be and we did in the end spend our afternoon wandering around, eating cake samples we will never buy into, sipping bubbly we will steal the idea from and indulging in some wedding fantasies of our own!

'Til next time, Love A.Lou xx