Ahh The Youth Of Today!

Hello, 

I can certainly say that the last week has been much better than before. Whilst I am still stressed up to my eyeballs what with trying to find a solicitor that will actually communicate with me, source some little bits and pieces for our home and get a handle on my fluctuating depression, I have certainly found the last few days a little bit easier to deal with. Therapy this week was helpful and whilst I feel as though we are going over old ground with my mother and brother and that whole scenario, I feel as though this is a key component in trying to work out where I go from now and how best I go forward with my life and those in it. Life was just about manageable until Saturday morning happened. 

We had a new girl, maybe in her early twenties move in a couple of weeks ago, a lovely lass who seemingly appears to scrub up well when going on a night out and apparently had a toddler daughter that was due to be moving in with her soon. We hadn't spoken much to her if anything at all but seemed like she was a responsible and caring person, although sometimes the types of characters and people coming and going in and out of her flat were questionable sometimes. With most of her guests being young men or in their 20's and spending roughly about 20 minutes in her flat and then leaving, Mr Warehouse and I had our own ideas about what potentially they may be getting up to in such a short amount of time and I am sure you will make your own mind up also!

Saturday Morning however I was awoken at 6:45am by the iron gate at the side of our Alley-walk-way we shared with our new Neighbour being forcibly banged against the wall, clattering and clanging every time. Hoping it might have been the wind or rain bashing it against the wall periodically I rolled over, enjoying the free space that Mr Warehouse had given me when he went to work in the small hours of that morning. Not long after the clattering I heard a massive argument ensue which included grown men, about our age, yelling and shouting at each other. Getting up and out of bed to see what was going on I peered out of my bedroom window only to see fighting. 
"I've just buried my fucking Dad man and if your not careful I'll fucking bury you too" one lad shouted at another before storming off down the street, continuing the fight and even pushing and shoving each other on to the parked cars on the street. I heard the neighbours from upstairs shout down for them to pack it in. To be fair to them they did shut up for a short while before it erupted again, this time leading to glass bottles being thrown and smashed on the street outside our bedroom window. I could only assume that this was a drunken fuelled argument or spat that has happened between our new neighbours and/or her friends. 

Now honestly I don't mind the parties or even the copious amounts of lads that are in and out of that flat on a weekly basis, I am not bothered or fazed by this at all. However I am, I think, understandably pissed when I am awoken so early on a weekend morning to World War III kicking off outside my bedroom window. Thinking that there wasn't much left to do apart from just simply get up and have a coffee and maybe breakfast, I called Mr Warehouse and spoke to him about Jeremy Kyle Live that has just started outside our flat. Mr. Warehouse continued to explain that this had apparently been going since the very early hours over the morning when at three in the morning when he was awoken by our upstairs neighbours yelling down to the rowdy youths in order to keep the noise down as it was a quiet family street and we were all trying to sleep. When the Bae then went to work just a couple of hours later at 5 o'clock it was still going and whilst the music was quiet there was quite a lot of loud talking and running back and forth along the side of our Alley-walk-way. 

After the glass bottles were smashed outside on the street, there seemed to be a bit of a clean up operation in which the debris was cleared as best as possible, but with what appeared to be a spliff in one hand holding a red Cup probably containing a good measure of alcohol and the other hand in a desperate attempt to try and Sweep up what glass they could see with their beer Goggles on there is certainly a lot left to be desired. Flicking the kettle and rubbing my eyes I thank my lucky stars that I had my dressing gown on as two police officers were also called to the incident, I can only assume from the other residents on the street that were also awoken. Sipping my coffee as I watched some shit Saturday morning TV, all of which with one eye on the garden gate leading into our new neighbours flat of course. 

After summoning all my might to get dressed, I took the Pooch for a walk only to find that the glass was scarcely cleaned up and was still a bit of a mess, something which could also cause other children or other pets on the street harm not to mention possibly even puncturing Mr. Warehouse's bike when he comes home. I also noticed that because of the constant banging and slamming of the gate that our little sign is broken which welcomed visitors and warned them of our pup. Now whilst it cost under a fiver I still didn't appreciate that our property was being treated in this way and with such disrespect as well. 

Mr. Warehouse came home a few hours later and was the most angriest I have ever seen him. Seething, he ranted loudly about how disrespectful, rude and inconsiderate they were being. But what could we do? I had contacted my landlord a couple of hours after it had all kicked off and within minutes he had come storming round to the property, fuming that he was being taken for a ride and seemingly being made out to look like a mug. But now there were just as many people as before coming and going and coming back again, now even just standing around and having conversations in our garden. I felt quite uncomfortable and judging from the amount of alcohol that was going into the flat and comings and goings, I very much doubted that this would be ending anytime soon. 

Messaging my landlord again in one last ditch attempt to try and get something sorted before it's all got out of hand again. As before, within a few moments of me sending the message there was a car screeching to a halt and parking up outside. Not thinking much of that I saw my landlord storm right through past our flat and into the our new neighbours garden, banging on the glass and ushering for the lass to come out. 
"Woah who the fuck are you mate!" one bloke yelled obviously upset that his potential Beau had another older man banging at her window. 
"I'm the landlord of this place"  he answered as he marched the girl to the front of the property where they had a heated discussion, I can only assume (because I did not have my window open - Silly me) that she was being read the riot act and as a result would have to be on her best behaviour in order to keep a roof over her head. 

I think all of that had happened on Saturday without my Approval In Principle / AIP and Mr Warehouse and buy in the process of moving soon, it's almost certainly would have made my mood even worse. Not long now!

'Til next time, Love A.Lou xx

Uppers and Downers!

Hey Hey, 

I thought that my week would never end. I'm trying to remember the last time that I had a week like that and truth be told I am glad that it is over. Stressed up to my eyeballs I was trying to juggle everything from buying a new home, work and attempting not to have a mental breakdown. Unfortunately, as with most things at the moment I fail in every direction. I think that I have really struggled this week both emotionally and physically with some of the challenges I have faced and all of that is certainly not easy when you are trying to battle depression to get back to the person you once was. 

Therapy this week was interesting to say the least and there was certainly a little bit more back and forth with my counsellor. Whilst my place of work have been amazing I acknowledge that it may be some time before I am right as rain again. I know that I have good days and bad days, however those of you that have suffered mental illness such as anxiety or depression will know just how well we are in "faking it til we make it" or just papering over cracks. I am sure that my therapy sessions will get worse in terms of me exploring more about why I feel like I do but I am willing to try anything right now. I know that I just need to focus and concentrate hard on what matters and soon everything will fall into place and get better. 

Although saying that, I have yet to tell my Landlord that my beautiful little flat, with its kitchen floor is beautifully covered in light grey wood effect vinyl, as is our newly lilac painted, white tiled bathroom is soon to be no longer called home for me and Mr Warehouse. After receiving a Mortgage In Principle / MIP a couple of weeks ago and reserving a property off plan last week the ball was certainly on a roll. With everything being so quick it wasn't long before we had our Approval In Principle / AIP. This is pretty much our next step in owning our own home and in basic terms means that the lender is accepting of our circumstances and will lend us the money for our home. 

The next stressful thing in the long chain of events before we move in is to instruct a solicitor. The problem is that everyone is quoting something different. I have admittedly gone overboard in terms of asking every man and his dog for a quote. After going down the road of emailing every single person and company that could possibly give us a quote, I sifted through the sixty or seventy quotes in my email inbox and whittled it down to about ten. But weeding through them again and again I soon noticed that there were charges for things that I would have expected to be included, one of which being charged upwards of £30 just to transfer money from my bank account into their bank account and back out again. Some of the quotes were fairly reasonable however some ranged even into the couple of thousands and beyond. A ridiculous amount when you think about the effort that they actually put in, copying and pasting your name and other details onto an already drafted letter or email. All a solicitor is there to do basically to check that you have completed all your paperwork correctly. As if I don't hate scrutiny combined with constructive and corrective criticism enough, now I have the joyous task of having to pay for it. 

To be fair I think we have found a solicitor in the local area that will not rip us off or charges for every phone call, email, text or letter. Hopefully with our Approval In Principle / AIP ticking along nicely and with our estate agents working it hard to get together a pack for the housing association it wont be long before we have got our keys! Still makes me anxious to know that essentially we have bought semi-off-plan. As explained last week, this means that we are going to be the first people to ever live in this house. On the one hand I like the idea of being the first people within a new home, however I have always falling in love with a property or building for the fact of its history including the people that lived in it and the what the walls could say about them. All the arguments, laughter and silly moments that are captured within the shear structure of a building add to its appeal for me. I know for a fact that Mr Warehouse thinks this is all a load of Tosh. I am sure that it will not take long for Mr Warehouse and I to fill our new home with laughter and happiness ... Fingers crossed at least!

'Til next time, Love A.Lou xx