We have gathered here today ...

Evening all, 

Pulling into the car park of the church I was anxious already. So many times Mr. Warehouse and I had found ourselves here, talking through restrictions with Vicars or sorting out postponements with Reverand's. It was hard to believe we had made it a small step closer to our wedding day. 

Arriving with our basic bitch packed lunch in a Co-Op carrier bag like school kids in the playground we headed inside and cautiously introduced ourselves to our new classmates. We were, of course, the first ones there (because Mr Warehouse has palpitations if we are even remotely on time and just has to be early to everything, something which is not ingrained in my moral fibre I must say). Next to arrive were soon to be Mr and Mrs Quiche. 

Aptly named since we saw them a mile off driving a recently plated BMW. The Hubby to be was tall, dark and handsome with a full quaft of hair and was only a rolled-up jumper on the shoulders away from a Prep school education and a membership to a rowing club, the latter to which we would find out in due course was true. The wifey was dressed in a very demure and twee ditsy patterned tea dress past knew length (ooh the scandal of showing an ankle) and carrying a cooler box. Yes. A cooler box. The contents of which would lend themselves later on during our lunch break in which she would bringth a glass bottle of ginger beer (probably from a farm shop and almost certainly organic) as well as a full homemade quiche from said cooler box and carve off a slice for her betrothed whilst Mr Warehouse and I looked on over our pre-packaged sandwiches and carton of drinks. They were perfect. As though God had taken his pencil and created them himself. A part of me hated them. But a deeper part of me wanted that; Tea dress, cooler box, quiche and all. 

Soon after were soon to be Mr and Mrs Beardy-Preggo, mainly named such because one was pregnant (although not showing) and the other had the most spectacular Viking-esk beard I think I have ever seen on a man. They were a cute hipster couple who had a dog called rusty and probably lived in a cool attic loft converted flat maybe in one of the villages. They kept themselves to themselves really as did everyone. We weren't there to make friends. We were there to learn about God and Jesus and shit. 

The reverend started off with introductions and it was my job to introduce Mr. Warehouse. I had to think long and hard about his likes and dislikes and desperately tried to stay away from a confessional about how he is completely incapable of picking up his socks and putting them in the wash basket. Once we had acquainted ourselves the "Marriage Matters" Guidance began. 

The preface began; In the presence of God, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, we have come together to witness the marriage of (insert name of the bride - AKA moi) and (insert name of the bride - AKA hunky Mr. Warehouse), to pray for God’s blessing on them, to share their joy and to celebrate their love. I was getting giddy already! This was happening, this was really happening. Continuing, Marriage is a gift of God in creation through which husband and wife may know the grace of God. It is given that as man and woman grow together in love and trust, they shall be united with one another in heart, body, and mind, as Christ is united with his bride, the Church. We were asked to think - What does that mean to me? What does that mean to my husband? Are we prepared to commit ourselves to the union of marriage and all that it brings?

Reading the passage given to us we were told that none of it will sink in on the big day and that we would be far too consumed with what has just happened and what is about to happen and what is going to happen later that the following word would simply wash over us. Thundering on the reverend continued reading; The gift of marriage brings husband and wife together in the delight and tenderness of sexual union and joyful commitment to the end of their lives. It is given as the foundation of family life in which children are born and nurtured and in which each member of the family, in good times and in bad, may find strength, companionship, and comfort, and grow to maturity in love. 

I suppose in a way I hadn't really thought too deeply about what it all means and how we will deal with everything that life can throw at us in the next fifty-odd years; Kids, births, deaths, funerals, parties, arguments, passionate embraces. You name it we're gonna have to muddle our way through it and work things out. Marriage is a way of life made holy by God, and blessed by the presence of our Lord Jesus Christ with those celebrating a wedding at Cana in Galilee. 

Then, just before I zoned out when the religious schpeel started, something profound hit me - Marriage is a sign of unity and loyalty which all should uphold and honor. It enriches society and strengthens the community. No one should enter into it lightly or selfishly but reverently and responsibly in the sight of almighty God. (Insert the name of the bride - AKA moi) and (insert name of the bride - AKA hunky Mr. Warehouse) are now to enter this way of life. They will each give their consent to the other and make solemn vows, and in token of this, they will each give and receive a ring. We pray with them that the Holy Spirit will guide and strengthen them, that they may fulfill God’s purposes for the whole of their earthly life together. Now that is something I can get on board with ... 

Marriage is for me the unity of two people, who in their own right are individuals who have come together to form a team, a bond, a family. In years to come their team will expand hopefully and grow but fundamentally our church wedding was a formal and legal statement to the world that we are a team, one force to be reckoned with and that it was us against the world. For me, the day went on, maybe longer than it needed to, or maybe not long enough. "Marriage Matters" Guidance has had me in all of a bit of a state if truth be told. 

It has made me question a lot, mainly my belief and how whilst science faaaar out-weighs religion in all its formats, be it Christianity, Buddism, Hinduism, or Jewish beliefs, it has undoubtedly provoked some inward thinking and self-reflection. The thought processes in me now whirling away are considering what it would mean to be a part of a community that society recognizes and accepts and totally normalizes without any proof or clarification on what only seem to be old fairy tales and stories from the past. There is no proof of God and no proof that any man called Jesus ever existed and if he did somehow feed 5,000 with bread and fish or that he emerged from a rock after being murdered or all of the other miracles that happened? 

But what can I do but consider it. Maybe going to services in the coming weeks will help me with some of these feelings or questions and certainly give me and Mr. Warehouse some food for thought (although at the moment it feels like the UK's McDonald Franchises) like what is going to happen to our finances after we are married, will anything change and if we disagree how do we resolve it? Will we become a carbon copy of Mr. and Mrs Quiche or will we be one of those couples that comes for a few weeks on the run-up to the wedding and then nothing until our child wants to be enrolled in a catholic primary school. So many things to consider but one thing is for sure, God sure does have some nice Gaffs to get hitched in!

'Til next time, Love A.Lou x

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The Goldilocks of Dress Shopping

Heyy!

Standing in line, I was surprised that the queue was not longer considering this was the biggest wedding show in the UK - The National Wedding Show. With everything a bride and her entourage could every dream of under the beautiful glass-domed roof of Olympia London I was in awe of the venue and looking forward to walking around sampling champagne whilst looking at all the different suppliers and vendors. Amazing wedding dresses, stunning catwalk shows, expert advice and all with free tickets in hand. 

As we entered the lobby area, I was more than ready to elbow out my fellow brides in order to get special show offers, help and advice from over 250 wedding specialists. However on walking through into the Grand Hall and after about an hour or so of walking around as well as watching the first catwalk show I have to say that I was quite disappointed. On my long list of suppliers and vendors to hunt out in order to apply for competitions or sign up for freebies were quite a few that were not present at the London Olympia National Wedding Show. Krispy Kreme doughnut stand was missing and the authentic Italian ice cream man was also lost. 

"Nevermind though I thought", walking back from a cigarette break outside "there are lots of stunning dresses at multiple stands that I am sure I can try on". I suppose part of me was correct - Yes there were lots of stands and yes there were lots of dresses however most if not all of the guns on offer to try on we're all a UK size 14 or under. And by this standard assuming that the rule still applies that for your bridal gown should be at least two if not three dress sizes bigger than what you normally are on the High Street or in normal clothes. This, in turn, would mean that I would have to be a UK size 8 or size 10 in order to try on any of the wedding dresses at what was advertised as the UK's biggest wedding show. Somehow I think not!

The more I think about this fact, both then and now, it infuriates me. People (unlike me on this occasion) pay good money and even take time off of work to travel far and wide to a wedding show where they claim to have the widest variety of suppliers including wedding dresses and bridal wear specialists and yet only choose to supply a few gowns in a few small sizes not catering for anyone else. Here in the UK, our average dress size for a woman is around about a size 16 which would roughly be equated to wearing a wedding dress or bridal gown in a size 20 to 22. Now, why is that not reflected? 

Nevertheless, Mrs Tweedle-Dumb and Miss Tweedle-Dee struggled on with me, sore feet and aching arms from all the books and leaflets we were carrying around. After an hour or two of walking around the same vendors flogging the same old stuff we were all bored and with not much more inspiration to suck from the place we decided to bounce. I would say in the experience of The National Wedding Show was mediocre at best and am pleased that I did not pay for tickets as if I had I think I would have been even more disappointed than I was. Looking back on some of the other wedding shows that I have been to both in my local area and a few miles out, I have always been able to get a lot more out of small local independent's rather than what is classed as the UK's biggest! 

That being said however that this wedding show is perfect for those that have recently got engaged or haven't a clue where to start on their wedding planning journey, but a word of wisdom to my fellow Brides or Brides-to-be out there - Make sure that you do your research and if you are not prepared to pay megabucks then maybe consider a local wedding show or fair before heading to some of the National big boys as I can almost certainly guarantee that you will be able to find exactly what you are looking for by a friendly and local supplier ready and willing to take on your business. They will be just as capable as a supplier at one of the National wedding shows and yet will probably charge a lot less for something it just as special for your big day without a massive Price Tag and will probably care a little more too!

Calling it a day Mrs Tweedle-Dumb, Miss Tweedle-Dee and I decided to head over to the Westfield shopping centre in order to grab some dinner and a spot of shopping before heading home for a sleepover - Just like the good old days! The following morning I anticipated coffee and a light breakfast before heading out with my maid and matron of honour to try on wedding dresses! I was keen to get a few visits booked in especially when I have both of my besties on hand for gentle criticism and polite judgement. 

The first Bridal Boutique we stepped into we were all offered a cup of coffee which was much needed as we had not had any of the light breakfast I had intended due to waking up late. Walking around the store cloaked in wedding dresses and feeling as though I was Mr Tumnus in Narnia, there was not much is anything at all in my size and so I grabbed a couple of dresses just to make it seem as though we have not come for a free coffee. 

The next bridal shop Mrs Tweedle-Dumb and I left Miss Tweedle-Dee in the car for a nap as I was certain that she was suffering from a lack of caffeine and a poor night's sleep on my crumby sofa-bed. This store seemed much more positive as its ethos was to help the plus size lady find her dream dress. But just as the first so had been too small, the second store was way too big catering for up to a UK size 30! I did, however, fall for a few gowns there although there are no pictures as apparently, the designers get very funny about photos being taken something I personally think is a crock of shit. 

Stepping into the final score of the day was my Goldilocks moment and with this in mind, I picked out 4 or 5 dresses that I was happy to try on and headed through to the dressing room. Each of them I tried on and each of them I loved more than the last. However despite Mrs Tweedle-Dumb, Miss Tweedle-Dee, the lady who was helping me, and her colleagues all telling me that I looked beautiful and stunning, I just wasn't feeling it. With each curtain swish to reveal the outfit, I could tell Miss Tweedle-Dee was growing impatient and that she wanted me to buy. The dress in question was Letitia. The exclusive Platinum Edition waterfall ball gown was the ultimate princess wedding dress. With long creamy folds and layers detailing the skirt and the luxurious bodice, encrusted with beaded embroidery adding the perfect sparkle I could see her point. But with the biggest expense so far I was hesitant to say yes to the dress. Mrs Tweedle-Dumb took one look at me however and said exactly what I was thinking, reading my mind like a novel. 
"You are wondering if it is too early to say yes and that if there is something else better out there. I know that you are thinking about this and that it is something you are concerned about. Let me ask you one question though - If you were to be in the same position, standing here this time next year, I know you would not be as hesitant." Mrs Tweedle-Dumb said, softly but stern. And like that, it was an arrow to my heart. Having Mrs Tweedle-Dumb and Miss Tweedle-Dee there knowing that they knew me better than I even knew myself was somewhat scary yet comforting. 

Having Mrs Tweedle-Dumb home the last couple of weeks has been incredible and having her and Miss Tweedle-Dee around more times than I think I could shake a stick at has been wonderful. But alas all good things must come to an end. By the end of this week Mrs Tweedle-Dumb will be back home in sunny L.A. It will certainly be different not to have her around but I am sure it will not be long until we are all reunited and yet in the meantime I am sure that Miss Tweedle-Dee and I will have plenty of fun - Wedding or not!

'Til next time, Love A.Lou xx