Evening all,
Pulling into the car park of the church I was anxious already. So many times Mr. Warehouse and I had found ourselves here, talking through restrictions with Vicars or sorting out postponements with Reverand's. It was hard to believe we had made it a small step closer to our wedding day.
Arriving with our basic bitch packed lunch in a Co-Op carrier bag like school kids in the playground we headed inside and cautiously introduced ourselves to our new classmates. We were, of course, the first ones there (because Mr Warehouse has palpitations if we are even remotely on time and just has to be early to everything, something which is not ingrained in my moral fibre I must say). Next to arrive were soon to be Mr and Mrs Quiche.
Aptly named since we saw them a mile off driving a recently plated BMW. The Hubby to be was tall, dark and handsome with a full quaft of hair and was only a rolled-up jumper on the shoulders away from a Prep school education and a membership to a rowing club, the latter to which we would find out in due course was true. The wifey was dressed in a very demure and twee ditsy patterned tea dress past knew length (ooh the scandal of showing an ankle) and carrying a cooler box. Yes. A cooler box. The contents of which would lend themselves later on during our lunch break in which she would bringth a glass bottle of ginger beer (probably from a farm shop and almost certainly organic) as well as a full homemade quiche from said cooler box and carve off a slice for her betrothed whilst Mr Warehouse and I looked on over our pre-packaged sandwiches and carton of drinks. They were perfect. As though God had taken his pencil and created them himself. A part of me hated them. But a deeper part of me wanted that; Tea dress, cooler box, quiche and all.
Soon after were soon to be Mr and Mrs Beardy-Preggo, mainly named such because one was pregnant (although not showing) and the other had the most spectacular Viking-esk beard I think I have ever seen on a man. They were a cute hipster couple who had a dog called rusty and probably lived in a cool attic loft converted flat maybe in one of the villages. They kept themselves to themselves really as did everyone. We weren't there to make friends. We were there to learn about God and Jesus and shit.
The reverend started off with introductions and it was my job to introduce Mr. Warehouse. I had to think long and hard about his likes and dislikes and desperately tried to stay away from a confessional about how he is completely incapable of picking up his socks and putting them in the wash basket. Once we had acquainted ourselves the "Marriage Matters" Guidance began.
The preface began; In the presence of God, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, we have come together to witness the marriage of (insert name of the bride - AKA moi) and (insert name of the bride - AKA hunky Mr. Warehouse), to pray for God’s blessing on them, to share their joy and to celebrate their love. I was getting giddy already! This was happening, this was really happening. Continuing, Marriage is a gift of God in creation through which husband and wife may know the grace of God. It is given that as man and woman grow together in love and trust, they shall be united with one another in heart, body, and mind, as Christ is united with his bride, the Church. We were asked to think - What does that mean to me? What does that mean to my husband? Are we prepared to commit ourselves to the union of marriage and all that it brings?
Reading the passage given to us we were told that none of it will sink in on the big day and that we would be far too consumed with what has just happened and what is about to happen and what is going to happen later that the following word would simply wash over us. Thundering on the reverend continued reading; The gift of marriage brings husband and wife together in the delight and tenderness of sexual union and joyful commitment to the end of their lives. It is given as the foundation of family life in which children are born and nurtured and in which each member of the family, in good times and in bad, may find strength, companionship, and comfort, and grow to maturity in love.
I suppose in a way I hadn't really thought too deeply about what it all means and how we will deal with everything that life can throw at us in the next fifty-odd years; Kids, births, deaths, funerals, parties, arguments, passionate embraces. You name it we're gonna have to muddle our way through it and work things out. Marriage is a way of life made holy by God, and blessed by the presence of our Lord Jesus Christ with those celebrating a wedding at Cana in Galilee.
Then, just before I zoned out when the religious schpeel started, something profound hit me - Marriage is a sign of unity and loyalty which all should uphold and honor. It enriches society and strengthens the community. No one should enter into it lightly or selfishly but reverently and responsibly in the sight of almighty God. (Insert the name of the bride - AKA moi) and (insert name of the bride - AKA hunky Mr. Warehouse) are now to enter this way of life. They will each give their consent to the other and make solemn vows, and in token of this, they will each give and receive a ring. We pray with them that the Holy Spirit will guide and strengthen them, that they may fulfill God’s purposes for the whole of their earthly life together. Now that is something I can get on board with ...
Marriage is for me the unity of two people, who in their own right are individuals who have come together to form a team, a bond, a family. In years to come their team will expand hopefully and grow but fundamentally our church wedding was a formal and legal statement to the world that we are a team, one force to be reckoned with and that it was us against the world. For me, the day went on, maybe longer than it needed to, or maybe not long enough. "Marriage Matters" Guidance has had me in all of a bit of a state if truth be told.
It has made me question a lot, mainly my belief and how whilst science faaaar out-weighs religion in all its formats, be it Christianity, Buddism, Hinduism, or Jewish beliefs, it has undoubtedly provoked some inward thinking and self-reflection. The thought processes in me now whirling away are considering what it would mean to be a part of a community that society recognizes and accepts and totally normalizes without any proof or clarification on what only seem to be old fairy tales and stories from the past. There is no proof of God and no proof that any man called Jesus ever existed and if he did somehow feed 5,000 with bread and fish or that he emerged from a rock after being murdered or all of the other miracles that happened?
But what can I do but consider it. Maybe going to services in the coming weeks will help me with some of these feelings or questions and certainly give me and Mr. Warehouse some food for thought (although at the moment it feels like the UK's McDonald Franchises) like what is going to happen to our finances after we are married, will anything change and if we disagree how do we resolve it? Will we become a carbon copy of Mr. and Mrs Quiche or will we be one of those couples that comes for a few weeks on the run-up to the wedding and then nothing until our child wants to be enrolled in a catholic primary school. So many things to consider but one thing is for sure, God sure does have some nice Gaffs to get hitched in!
'Til next time, Love A.Lou x
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