Showing posts with label Reading Festival. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Reading Festival. Show all posts

Monday, 25 August 2014

Frisky Frolic's and Festival Fiasco's!

Good Afternoon All, 

So as many of you will know from last week's post I have had a bit of a busy week and an even more manic weekend. After arriving home Monday evening and writing to you all I was up at the crack of dawn next morning to go into work to sign some papers and inevitably I couldn't help myself but to get stuck in for a couple of hours. What can I say though I am a self-confessed control freak who hates to leave her desk knowing that, like most things, no one else can quiet to it better than little old me. Nevertheless I thought I would use my time wisely and head to town afterwards to run some errands. Whilst shopping and collecting things for the weekend ahead I decided to catch up with Mr. Cheese whom was in town himself having coffee with his cousin. 

Obviously feeling the awkwardness she left pretty quickly leaving Mr. Cheese and I to talk about what we have been up to and how life was now we were separated. Not dwelling on it too much Mr. Cheese suggested lunch. Tucking into a bagel I felt awkward still as the fact that this was not a romantic lunch date with a boyfriend played on my mind. Shoving it to the broom cupboard of my head we ate lunch and as the afternoon progressed we eventually found ourselves on my sofa back at my flat. Flirting had commenced as soon as we met and being alone on the sofa that seemed to start all of our sexual encounters did not seem to hinder the situation. leaning in for a cuddle I stayed strong and held my ground telling myself not to give in. I knew that Miss Tweedle-Dee and Miss Tweedle-Dumb would have a field day if they knew my Ex was even within two-metres of my sofa let alone pinning me down on it with snuggles. Slowly I felt a hand on my arse. 

"Are you trying to seduce me Mr. Cheese?" I asked in a deep, coyly sexy voice reserved for only special occasions. I was greeted with an equally deep and husky answer. Being told that it was false of habit only made the resisting that much harder and after some more breathy, wanting phrases we were naked and having the most passionate, hot afternoon sex that I can ever remember having. Taking it to the bedroom for a little nap I curled up in his arms like we used to do. Just before I drifted off into a relaxed and tension-less slumber I heard a whisper. 

"You know when you left mine last Sunday. Well when I went to bed that night I could smell you in the bedsheets. It made me think of you. I've missed you." Said my Ex quietly. Thinking about what he had said and all the wonderful things we had made me question yet again why I was calling him and Ex. Snoozing most of what was left of the day away Mr. Cheese made damn well sure I didn't forget the last time as he brought me as close to an orgasm as I think I have ever had. Shaking and trembling I could tell that he was breathing in as much enjoyment as I was giving out. Shuddering to a climax I couldn't help but take him again as I climbed on top to go once more! 

As the evening set in I prepared for the weekend festival-ing and packed my bags with minimal effort compared to my friends whom I was in constant contact with right up until the early hours. In between cramming in extra pants and the odd hopeful condom I chatted away about what I was taking and how I was packing it all. Panicking we called it a night and headed to bed, my best friends, Miss Tweedle-Dee and Miss Tweedle-Dumb in the hope that the festival fairy would come along in the middle of the night and pack their rucksacks. After waking the following morning the hours seemed to just melted away and before long it was time to set sail for Reading Festival 2014!

At four-am I was up. Curling my freshly dyed hair would take time. Sleeping at Miss Tweedle-Dee's house the night before was a god send and having the bathroom space and areas to get all three of us ready was bliss. As I tip-toed around the family home I had hung out in as a teenager I made sure I looked as festival ready as I could. Crowning my head with an over-the-top flower garland I joined my girls out in the cold dawn to pack the car and head out on the open road. Whizzing down the motorway and bumbling along the roads into the outskirts of London we followed the signs for the festival camps. As stewards showed us where to park and unload we braced ourselves for the trek of a lifetime to where we would eventually call home for the next five days. In doing so we joined the longest line that there ever was in living history but thanked ourselves we had made the effort to get up early to land ourselves a great spot. 

Pitching the tent towards the back of the White camp we noticed that it just so happened to be a prime area for boys to urinate and so we dubbed any lone male with his trousers a little bit slacked towards the waste as being on Willie Watch. Even Miss Tweedle-Dee got involved once or twice. Finally relaxing after a very, very long trip to the local Tesco to pick up beer and other food supplies such as Snickers and Chewee's, we took time to reflect on the important things in life. Like which one of us would we Fuck, Marry or Kill and of which one of my ex-boyfriends I would rather my best friend marries or sleeps with. As lad-like as the conversation was it would have never topped some of our neighbours, of which one of them was called Tuggy. We never found out why he was given this unfortunate nick-name but we all had our suspicions as to what may have caused it. 

As tired as we were we still managed to make it to the man arena area where we collected our wristbands and checked out some of the stalls and huts offering over-priced festival tat which I would probably given half a chance bought all of. Returning to our camp the Girls stopped off at a eatery for some food whilst I perched on a wooden bench. Yawning wide as I looked at my watch realising it was still mildly early a young women walked up to me and ordered me to stop yawning telling me it was a festival and to 'get on it'. Out of no-where a ginger gentleman also sat down next to her and we began talking about who we were most looking forward to seeing out of the acts to headline and where we were all from. A few moments later Miss Tweedle-Dee and Miss Tweedle-Dumb walked passed and I agreed to meet them back at the tent after my conversation with my new friends. Accent confirming that they were from the South Coast I probed further into their location. After explaining that they were from a little village outside of Exeter I felt a twinge of sadness as my mind harped back to days of Mr. Cheese and plans to visit Exeter with him. Changing the subject I asked their names. The guy offered up his name first and I struggled to contain a smirk as he shared the same Christian name as my ex Mr. Workaholic and another guy I went on a date with once (The date in question was awful and was something to never bring up again. Ever.). As the night closed in we partied in the bar and I threw myself into the festival spirit ending up dancing with strangers and adding people on Facebook I will never see again. Turning in for the night I felt that my new ginger friend was asking me back to his tent in a very forward yet round about way. Knowing that he was younger than my brother I declined and headed to my canvass home, stumbling in and rousing everyone in doing so. 

The rest of the weekend seemed to speed right pasted us all in a blur of drinking games, cider and music. Going to the arena everyday I saw some amazing acts including Arctic Monkeys, Paramore, Sigma, AndyC, Don Broco, Enter Shikari, You Me At Six, Twin Atlantic, Tonight Alive, Duke Dumont, Blink 182, Macklemore and Ryan Lewis, Jake Bugg and so many brilliant others. And whilst Jake Bugg was emotional to watch and hear, given the connotations and memories of Mr. Cheese it brought me but all in all, such a cracker of a weekend and all spent with my best friends. Its funny they did try to monitor (As they always do) the content of my writing in the Blog but I told them that the memories we share are the best any human could wish for from friends. 

Admittedly there are things I wouldn't share with you guys, like stories of human defecation and tales of falling in country potholes but I wouldn't have my friends any other way. As a few artists rocked out on the huge stages that swamped the fields of Berkshire I gazed on at them with pride. I was proud to have two best friends that were so diverse in opinion, honesty, humour, sexual preference, personality, judgement and individuality that I don't think that even the Queen herself (Whom Miss Tweedle-Dee has innate fear of) could have chosen a better network of friendship as my two Girls. Over the pasted decade I have not listened to them on many occasions although I hope they know that throughout everything they are the best thing I have in my life and all that is worth sharing is better when it is shared with them. 

'Til next time, Love A.Lou xx

Monday, 18 August 2014

The Irish Experiance

Top 'o the marning to ya', 

Or at least that's what they say in Ireland. Haha. Anyhoo I hope all is well and good with everyone and it is safe to say that I am fully recovered and rejuvenated from my adventures of the lactose variety. I am now back home safe and sound and ready for a fresh new chapter ahead. Well Kinda! 

So after I left the House of Cheese last Sunday I whizzed back home, up my apartment stairs still dressed in the outfit from the night before, suspenders and all and rallied around my penthouse for my bag and all the other bits I would be taking away with me to Ireland. After making several trips up and down those god awful stairs many more times as a result of leaving something important behind I finally left in good time to make my train and grab a good old Starbucks before heading to the departure lounge. I was hoping to find a nice Irish fellow, maybe works in something fun like marketing or advertising to chat with on the journey. Maybe we would fall in love and he would invite me to stay in Dublin for ever and ever and live happily ever after under the shadows of the Guinness factory. Alas though this was not the case and after taking off late due to a delay I began to feel nauseous. Maybe my last night of passion had caught up with me? Nevertheless I tucked into my hearty breakfast bap from Starbs and let the oxygenated air knock me out for six. 

Landing in Dublin I knew I was already going to be pushed for time catching my coach from the airport to the village closest to my Aunt and Uncles cottage in Callan, County Kilkenny. Rushing past fellow flyer's and nearly pushing a small Spanish boy onto the luggage carousel in a mad dash to get through security I managed to get outside into the Irish air but missed my coach by mere minutes. 'Damn Spanish kids' I thought to myself as I begged for a Irish driver to detour and take me to where I needed to go. Thankfully a nice man let me on his bus and I headed for the city centre hoping I could make my connection there. As the city lit up with the evenings lights under a dark rain cloud it began to pour and the heavens opened over the home of the leprechaun. Just as I thought it was too late my trusty bus driver pulled into the coach yard and yelled at the now leaving coach bound for what I would call home for the next week or so to stop and allow me to board. The luck of the Irish 'eh?

After a long and winding journey through the Irish hills that seemed to roll on forever and countless attempts to get my phone to work in what appeared to be a completely foreign country (Thanks T-Mobile) I finally arrived at my destination. A local farmer friend of the family came to collect me and we made small talk most of the journey home. Letting myself into the small cottage I breathed a sigh of relief as I took in the sights that had comforted me so many times before. Somehow I always feel like I am at home in Ireland. 

Settling in I unpacked and threw on some pyjamas in the hope that there might be something decent on TV like a film or such. Casting my phone aside and telling myself that I would deal with it tomorrow I flopped into the leather couch and prepared for my first night alone. In the middle of nowhere. Miles from the nearest neighbour. Where you can scream and no one will hear you. With no protection other than a blunt letter opener. 'Yes, I think I fancy watching My Little Pony tonight!' I thought to myself as I made sure that the front door was locked. Luckily I didn't have too long to enjoy my own company as I was joined the following morning by my Aunt and Uncle's dogs arriving back from the kennels. I was hoping that maybe now would be my chance to meet a handsome Irish man. No. This one I am sad to say was old and had a white beard to rival Captain Bird's Eye. Taking hold of the leads the large dogs, one a Pitbull type and the other a slobbery Dog Bordeaux, I could feel how strong they were. Pulling on the chains I shoved them into the house whilst I waved off my only communication for that day and collected the rest of the dog stuff. 

Snuggled up on the leather settee was where myself and my furry friends spent most of the next few days, watching reruns of Friends (In which I had never really seen before but now I am hooked and feel I now need to spend the next few weeks catching up on everything between 1994 and 2004). I did however venture out most days, oddly going for a run a couple of times. I know - I must have been bored. I did venture into the city of Kilkenny one day to see the sights and to have a cheeky shop in the knowledge that my bags had plenty more room to fill with clothes and shoes. Sad to say though by this point (Tuesday Afternoon I might add) I was already missing work and so this reflected in my shopping habits with me picking up several new shirts and a pencil skirt I shall no doubt return once home. Exhausted I headed for a bearded gentleman manning the information desk to call me a cab back home since my driver was unavailable for the week. After dialling for a taxi and trying with no avail to tell him where I needed to go I sat in the back of the large silver tin can hoping and praying that he wouldn't turn down a dirt track and try to grope me. 

Thankfully I made it home in one piece although robbed of forty-euros for the cab fare. The cheek! Apparently I found out at a later date that the journey in total shouldn't have cost no more than about twenty but how was a pretty little English girl to know that? Disregarding the incident I went about my usual duties for the week feeding all the animals on my Aunties increasingly growing collection of farm yard creatures. In total I was sharing my Irish retreat with four goats - One of them pregnant, a horse, several chickens, a rooster, a couple of guinea fowl and three dogs. Snuggling down under the blankets and with the warmth of the hounds we watched a film and then headed to bed. Soon enough though the weekend was upon us and I was greeted by the local farmer again offering to take me to the local pub up the road for a proper Irish knees up and a few pints. Obviously I obliged but had to clear myself of dog hair and the smell of oats. 

Donning my boots and 'Big-Boob-Bra' I headed out for a night out with the local lads. Lads however may have been an extreme use of the word. I think maybe the phrase I was looking for was of the more mature variety. Stepping into the quaint little public house I could tell how it once used to be someones front room. Warm and cosy though I stood at the bar and soaked up the surroundings. It was far from busy and I took shelter with my 'date' for the evening until I found some company. Looking around my thoughts were confirmed. I was not only the youngest in the joint but also the only female! Now most people would have thought 'Oh dear god no! They will harass me and try all there best 1974 chat-up lines on me?!' but not me. I revelled in the conversation about cow's and farming, even dropping in about my blog once or twice. 'I knew I would be a hit' I thought to myself as I spurred out all the old tales of bad dates and naughty escapades of a younger, less informed self. Rounding off the night I thought I might have to carry my farmer friend home but thankfully his wonderful wife came to collect us and saved me from a good four-mile trek home in the scary darkness of the Irish wilderness. 

Being woken up at the crack of dawn by the rooster "Cock-a-doodle-dooing" is something I shall never become accustomed to however on the morning following the Irish night out my head was craving for more time with the pillow. I reluctantly rolled out of bed, fixed my curls into pigtails and began the feeding of horse, goats and poultry. I did fancy picking one of the chickens up and just whispering to it "Nando's" but I thought that would just make me hungry so went back inside to find the CoCo Pops. Rounding off my week away I rose early this morning to make sure that all the animals were fed and watered and that the dog man collected the pooches before I headed off back to Dublin and to catch my flight later on that afternoon. And after all my in-vain searching for an Irish fellow I finally found one in the Kennel-boy. 

Pulling up in the silver van I could hear the Pitbull and Dog Bordeaux going mental. Not evening thinking twice I nearly ran outside to see what all the commotion was all about minus my top. Bare breasts to the guy that collects Mutts for a living is not the best first impression to give someone not to mention probably making the poor boy vomit and causing mental scarring. Huffing on a vest and joining the barking two-some outside I could see what they were barking at ... Woof Woof! Talk with wispy curly hair and a thick Southern Irish accent and I was sold. On top of all that (Yes please!) he worked with dogs for a living so no more bow-wow bashing. Handing them over to him I thought about crawling into the cages next to them and asking the young chap to take me for a walk! 

After watching my Irish farmer boy drive off up the lanes I waited next for my carriage to whisk me away to Kilkenny so I could grab a much needed coffee and some breakfast before boarding the coach again back to Dublin. Waiting at the station I helped out a African man struggling with a folding bike, unbeknown to me however it turns out I had made a friend. When questions surrounding my love-life arose I remembered how Mr. Cheese had said that African men always see a girl with no ring on her finger as a potential wife. Reacting quickly and not wanting my love-life to seem as tragic as it actually is I made up a story that I was engaged and that my fiancée whom I have lived with for several years after meeting at University in London, was buying the ring this weekend. It seemed to throw him off but left me feeling deflated and wondering when or even if I will ever get to that point in life. 

Trundling through the city streets of Dublin flooded my head with wondrous fantasies about one day living over there. Not permanently of course, I can barely leave my Tweedles for a week let alone a lifetime! No maybe just a year or less. You know, living in a hostel, working in a bar, making new friends and chatting up nice Irish men! What could be better. It got me thinking and I am now seriously considering a sabbatical from work to live out an Green Isle adventure. Finally connecting to Airport WiFi I completely miss read the departure gate for my flight and instead of being at gate 107 I was at 307. 'Im not going to Manchester?' I thought. Then it hit me and my Caramel Frappachino like a tonne of bricks - 'Shiiiiiiiiiiiit!' 

Running through the airport as they were making the call for final boarding I realised that not only do I probably look like a twat running but that I may become one of the disgruntled passengers I always laugh at on my favourite TV programme of all time 'Airline'. Finally arriving at the correct gate I flew through the check in and boarded the plane home. And so here I am now. At my trusty window in my apartment writing to you fine people! Safe to say though that my feet themselves will barely be touching the ground this week as I have to go into work tomorrow to sort some stuff out, I have the UnDate that we spoke of that I may have to reschedule as well as all the washing and packing for the weekend ahead. Weekend ahead you ask? Well I most certainly will not be going to Tiffany's to pick out an engagement ring with my future husband (Or maybe I will?!) No I will be crowning myself as an Indian Chief and getting down and dirty with the best of them. Mallet, mud-fights and cagoule at the ready - Next weekend is Reading Festival 2014!

'Til Next Time, Love A.Lou xx