Afternoon,
So after last weeks torturous and slightly S&M evening with Mr. Masseuse (No Pain, No Gain! - If you haven't read it you need to .. Its Hilarious!!!) I was glad of a somewhat mundane week at work with an uneventful weekend to follow.
I was not however looking forward to the dentists appointment though. Several weeks ago I had gone for my first check up in over seven-years since I left school, aged sixteen. Terrified as a child after having some surgery and not being given enough drugs to knock me the fuck out I woke half way through the procedure and with eyes flashing wildly to gain the attention of the dental staff I was otherwise paralysed, forced to watch and feel as they drilled and burrowed into my tiny mouth.
Another reason why I was so frightened of the Dentist as a teen was mainly because the appointments always seemed to crop up on a Wednesday or a Thursday - The days I used to finish school early and meet the boys after school for some more "advance classes" and "extra tuition" if you follow my drift. So scared I was of getting caught in the act I would rush home after one of these "sessions" and brush my teeth in a bid to rid my mouth of any evidence. I don't know why. I was like fifteen and thought that the Dentist would peer into my mouth and turn to my mother and say
"I am sorry but it looks like your daughter has been sucking dick. What do you propose we do with this then, Hmm?" Genuinely scared, even as I sat in the scary leany-backy chair that they would look at my pearly whites and see residue of something that shouldn't have been there. It humoured me slightly to think that when I was lying in a similar chair on Saturday Morning.
Preparing myself I had already called the surgery in advance and asked about the procedure and what would happen, what would be done and what I should bring. Of course I knew all the answers myself and in all honesty could have easily saved not only my time and lunch break but also my dignity, especially when I asked if someone could come in and hold my hand. And yes, just to remind you I will be twenty-four in nearly a months time!
Saturday morning I awoke and rolled over to a bemused Mr. Warehouse.
"What exactly is so funny?" I asked croakily through tousled bed hair and blurred vision.
"Today is the day!" Mr. Warehouse chirped and after asking what he was on about a shuddering noise rang through me, knocking out any hope of a cheeky lye-in. It was Mr. Warehouse - Making drilling noises and humming the Jaws theme tune. And as he nonchalantly laughed off his lad-ish "banter" I secretly made a mental note not to place anything in long and hard in my mouth other than a toothbrush before 9am.
Getting up and dressed I bought time by Googling pointless things of interest like Puppies and John Wayne Gacy paintings (If you haven't seen them or even know who he is then I give you permission to seek out your inner sicko and Google this man and his heinous crimes) - Yes I have a fluctuating mindset sometimes. Nevertheless it was soon time to leave but as I made my way out of my flat, followed shortly by Mr. Warehouse I was yet again greeted by the deathly hum's growling form Mr. Warehouse's voice box, of which I was very close to ripping out. He was not very nice to me that day!
Arriving at the surgery, again like the last time I visited it was baking hot and I was thankful for the empty waiting room and friendly receptionist. Unlike last time I came for a check up, whereby I was over forty-minutes early because Mr. Warehouse had rushed me out the door, I only had a few moments to wait before I was called for. And so, up the wooden staircase I ascended, dramatically thinking as I always do that I may never return and I somehow may meet my death in a Sweeney Todd Style Murder a la Dental Practise. But as soon as I walked into the room and was greeted with the same, slightly foreign and overly-made-up dentist I was at ease - slightly!?
As the chair reclined once more I opened my mouth wide and stuck in my headphones with a preplanned playlist consisting of mostly club but certainly all loud songs ranging from guilty pleasure hit "Don't Call Me Baby - Madison Avenue" to the 2003 smash "Milkshake - Kelis" and even a new favourite of mine "Gimme Head - Shystie" which is vocally, erm, interesting, but more importantly would definitely take my mind of Miss Tooth-Decay drilling away in my moush. But as I felt the prickly jab of the needle going into my gums, flooding my mouth with local anaesthetic, I tried to relax. Liking the fact I had already put together a compilation of my favourite tunes for my impending doom at the Dental Surgery. I even got a chance to relax enough to tap my toes to a few beats. I had somewhat even started to enjoy the drilling sensation and started to play silly games like running away from the mini-sucky-thing they use!
But before I had even got a chance to get to some of the better song on my playlist of pleasantness the chair was re-clining back up to an upright position. Taking my headphones off my ear holes I asked if that was it. My kind Dentist friend nodded and went on to say how well I did. "I wonder if I am going to get one of those overly-sized stickers for being such a good girl today?" I thought to myself as I listened to her saying something about flossing more. Woozy from the injections and sudden, unexpected right-angle position I found myself in I exclaimed that I felt like a cat, feeling my swollen face and cheeks, checking that I didn't in fact look like a balloon. Thanking my Dentist and nurse I exited the room and descended the stairs, without the body bag and still very much alive. As I turned into the main staircase there he was, Mr. Warehouse, waiting patiently for me with a concerned yet proud look on his face. I knew he had not been there for the full time I had been in but I appreciated the little white lie he told me, despite not being able to uphold it later on when questioned. I made an appointment for February next year and promised to see them soon. I don't know if I will go in six months for sure, but rest assured I am slightly less scared of the Dentist, although I am not fully cured. I will now be on my way to alleviate any more worry and have a giggle by Googling tooth fetishes and dental depravities. Good Night Mon Frere's!
'Til next time, Love A.Lou xx
Showing posts with label Proud. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Proud. Show all posts
Monday, 10 August 2015
Monday, 25 August 2014
Frisky Frolic's and Festival Fiasco's!
Good Afternoon All,
So as many of you will know from last week's post I have had a bit of a busy week and an even more manic weekend. After arriving home Monday evening and writing to you all I was up at the crack of dawn next morning to go into work to sign some papers and inevitably I couldn't help myself but to get stuck in for a couple of hours. What can I say though I am a self-confessed control freak who hates to leave her desk knowing that, like most things, no one else can quiet to it better than little old me. Nevertheless I thought I would use my time wisely and head to town afterwards to run some errands. Whilst shopping and collecting things for the weekend ahead I decided to catch up with Mr. Cheese whom was in town himself having coffee with his cousin.
Obviously feeling the awkwardness she left pretty quickly leaving Mr. Cheese and I to talk about what we have been up to and how life was now we were separated. Not dwelling on it too much Mr. Cheese suggested lunch. Tucking into a bagel I felt awkward still as the fact that this was not a romantic lunch date with a boyfriend played on my mind. Shoving it to the broom cupboard of my head we ate lunch and as the afternoon progressed we eventually found ourselves on my sofa back at my flat. Flirting had commenced as soon as we met and being alone on the sofa that seemed to start all of our sexual encounters did not seem to hinder the situation. leaning in for a cuddle I stayed strong and held my ground telling myself not to give in. I knew that Miss Tweedle-Dee and Miss Tweedle-Dumb would have a field day if they knew my Ex was even within two-metres of my sofa let alone pinning me down on it with snuggles. Slowly I felt a hand on my arse.
"Are you trying to seduce me Mr. Cheese?" I asked in a deep, coyly sexy voice reserved for only special occasions. I was greeted with an equally deep and husky answer. Being told that it was false of habit only made the resisting that much harder and after some more breathy, wanting phrases we were naked and having the most passionate, hot afternoon sex that I can ever remember having. Taking it to the bedroom for a little nap I curled up in his arms like we used to do. Just before I drifted off into a relaxed and tension-less slumber I heard a whisper.
"You know when you left mine last Sunday. Well when I went to bed that night I could smell you in the bedsheets. It made me think of you. I've missed you." Said my Ex quietly. Thinking about what he had said and all the wonderful things we had made me question yet again why I was calling him and Ex. Snoozing most of what was left of the day away Mr. Cheese made damn well sure I didn't forget the last time as he brought me as close to an orgasm as I think I have ever had. Shaking and trembling I could tell that he was breathing in as much enjoyment as I was giving out. Shuddering to a climax I couldn't help but take him again as I climbed on top to go once more!
As the evening set in I prepared for the weekend festival-ing and packed my bags with minimal effort compared to my friends whom I was in constant contact with right up until the early hours. In between cramming in extra pants and the odd hopeful condom I chatted away about what I was taking and how I was packing it all. Panicking we called it a night and headed to bed, my best friends, Miss Tweedle-Dee and Miss Tweedle-Dumb in the hope that the festival fairy would come along in the middle of the night and pack their rucksacks. After waking the following morning the hours seemed to just melted away and before long it was time to set sail for Reading Festival 2014!
At four-am I was up. Curling my freshly dyed hair would take time. Sleeping at Miss Tweedle-Dee's house the night before was a god send and having the bathroom space and areas to get all three of us ready was bliss. As I tip-toed around the family home I had hung out in as a teenager I made sure I looked as festival ready as I could. Crowning my head with an over-the-top flower garland I joined my girls out in the cold dawn to pack the car and head out on the open road. Whizzing down the motorway and bumbling along the roads into the outskirts of London we followed the signs for the festival camps. As stewards showed us where to park and unload we braced ourselves for the trek of a lifetime to where we would eventually call home for the next five days. In doing so we joined the longest line that there ever was in living history but thanked ourselves we had made the effort to get up early to land ourselves a great spot.
Pitching the tent towards the back of the White camp we noticed that it just so happened to be a prime area for boys to urinate and so we dubbed any lone male with his trousers a little bit slacked towards the waste as being on Willie Watch. Even Miss Tweedle-Dee got involved once or twice. Finally relaxing after a very, very long trip to the local Tesco to pick up beer and other food supplies such as Snickers and Chewee's, we took time to reflect on the important things in life. Like which one of us would we Fuck, Marry or Kill and of which one of my ex-boyfriends I would rather my best friend marries or sleeps with. As lad-like as the conversation was it would have never topped some of our neighbours, of which one of them was called Tuggy. We never found out why he was given this unfortunate nick-name but we all had our suspicions as to what may have caused it.
As tired as we were we still managed to make it to the man arena area where we collected our wristbands and checked out some of the stalls and huts offering over-priced festival tat which I would probably given half a chance bought all of. Returning to our camp the Girls stopped off at a eatery for some food whilst I perched on a wooden bench. Yawning wide as I looked at my watch realising it was still mildly early a young women walked up to me and ordered me to stop yawning telling me it was a festival and to 'get on it'. Out of no-where a ginger gentleman also sat down next to her and we began talking about who we were most looking forward to seeing out of the acts to headline and where we were all from. A few moments later Miss Tweedle-Dee and Miss Tweedle-Dumb walked passed and I agreed to meet them back at the tent after my conversation with my new friends. Accent confirming that they were from the South Coast I probed further into their location. After explaining that they were from a little village outside of Exeter I felt a twinge of sadness as my mind harped back to days of Mr. Cheese and plans to visit Exeter with him. Changing the subject I asked their names. The guy offered up his name first and I struggled to contain a smirk as he shared the same Christian name as my ex Mr. Workaholic and another guy I went on a date with once (The date in question was awful and was something to never bring up again. Ever.). As the night closed in we partied in the bar and I threw myself into the festival spirit ending up dancing with strangers and adding people on Facebook I will never see again. Turning in for the night I felt that my new ginger friend was asking me back to his tent in a very forward yet round about way. Knowing that he was younger than my brother I declined and headed to my canvass home, stumbling in and rousing everyone in doing so.
The rest of the weekend seemed to speed right pasted us all in a blur of drinking games, cider and music. Going to the arena everyday I saw some amazing acts including Arctic Monkeys, Paramore, Sigma, AndyC, Don Broco, Enter Shikari, You Me At Six, Twin Atlantic, Tonight Alive, Duke Dumont, Blink 182, Macklemore and Ryan Lewis, Jake Bugg and so many brilliant others. And whilst Jake Bugg was emotional to watch and hear, given the connotations and memories of Mr. Cheese it brought me but all in all, such a cracker of a weekend and all spent with my best friends. Its funny they did try to monitor (As they always do) the content of my writing in the Blog but I told them that the memories we share are the best any human could wish for from friends.
Admittedly there are things I wouldn't share with you guys, like stories of human defecation and tales of falling in country potholes but I wouldn't have my friends any other way. As a few artists rocked out on the huge stages that swamped the fields of Berkshire I gazed on at them with pride. I was proud to have two best friends that were so diverse in opinion, honesty, humour, sexual preference, personality, judgement and individuality that I don't think that even the Queen herself (Whom Miss Tweedle-Dee has innate fear of) could have chosen a better network of friendship as my two Girls. Over the pasted decade I have not listened to them on many occasions although I hope they know that throughout everything they are the best thing I have in my life and all that is worth sharing is better when it is shared with them.
'Til next time, Love A.Lou xx
So as many of you will know from last week's post I have had a bit of a busy week and an even more manic weekend. After arriving home Monday evening and writing to you all I was up at the crack of dawn next morning to go into work to sign some papers and inevitably I couldn't help myself but to get stuck in for a couple of hours. What can I say though I am a self-confessed control freak who hates to leave her desk knowing that, like most things, no one else can quiet to it better than little old me. Nevertheless I thought I would use my time wisely and head to town afterwards to run some errands. Whilst shopping and collecting things for the weekend ahead I decided to catch up with Mr. Cheese whom was in town himself having coffee with his cousin.
Obviously feeling the awkwardness she left pretty quickly leaving Mr. Cheese and I to talk about what we have been up to and how life was now we were separated. Not dwelling on it too much Mr. Cheese suggested lunch. Tucking into a bagel I felt awkward still as the fact that this was not a romantic lunch date with a boyfriend played on my mind. Shoving it to the broom cupboard of my head we ate lunch and as the afternoon progressed we eventually found ourselves on my sofa back at my flat. Flirting had commenced as soon as we met and being alone on the sofa that seemed to start all of our sexual encounters did not seem to hinder the situation. leaning in for a cuddle I stayed strong and held my ground telling myself not to give in. I knew that Miss Tweedle-Dee and Miss Tweedle-Dumb would have a field day if they knew my Ex was even within two-metres of my sofa let alone pinning me down on it with snuggles. Slowly I felt a hand on my arse.
"Are you trying to seduce me Mr. Cheese?" I asked in a deep, coyly sexy voice reserved for only special occasions. I was greeted with an equally deep and husky answer. Being told that it was false of habit only made the resisting that much harder and after some more breathy, wanting phrases we were naked and having the most passionate, hot afternoon sex that I can ever remember having. Taking it to the bedroom for a little nap I curled up in his arms like we used to do. Just before I drifted off into a relaxed and tension-less slumber I heard a whisper.
"You know when you left mine last Sunday. Well when I went to bed that night I could smell you in the bedsheets. It made me think of you. I've missed you." Said my Ex quietly. Thinking about what he had said and all the wonderful things we had made me question yet again why I was calling him and Ex. Snoozing most of what was left of the day away Mr. Cheese made damn well sure I didn't forget the last time as he brought me as close to an orgasm as I think I have ever had. Shaking and trembling I could tell that he was breathing in as much enjoyment as I was giving out. Shuddering to a climax I couldn't help but take him again as I climbed on top to go once more!
As the evening set in I prepared for the weekend festival-ing and packed my bags with minimal effort compared to my friends whom I was in constant contact with right up until the early hours. In between cramming in extra pants and the odd hopeful condom I chatted away about what I was taking and how I was packing it all. Panicking we called it a night and headed to bed, my best friends, Miss Tweedle-Dee and Miss Tweedle-Dumb in the hope that the festival fairy would come along in the middle of the night and pack their rucksacks. After waking the following morning the hours seemed to just melted away and before long it was time to set sail for Reading Festival 2014!
At four-am I was up. Curling my freshly dyed hair would take time. Sleeping at Miss Tweedle-Dee's house the night before was a god send and having the bathroom space and areas to get all three of us ready was bliss. As I tip-toed around the family home I had hung out in as a teenager I made sure I looked as festival ready as I could. Crowning my head with an over-the-top flower garland I joined my girls out in the cold dawn to pack the car and head out on the open road. Whizzing down the motorway and bumbling along the roads into the outskirts of London we followed the signs for the festival camps. As stewards showed us where to park and unload we braced ourselves for the trek of a lifetime to where we would eventually call home for the next five days. In doing so we joined the longest line that there ever was in living history but thanked ourselves we had made the effort to get up early to land ourselves a great spot.
Pitching the tent towards the back of the White camp we noticed that it just so happened to be a prime area for boys to urinate and so we dubbed any lone male with his trousers a little bit slacked towards the waste as being on Willie Watch. Even Miss Tweedle-Dee got involved once or twice. Finally relaxing after a very, very long trip to the local Tesco to pick up beer and other food supplies such as Snickers and Chewee's, we took time to reflect on the important things in life. Like which one of us would we Fuck, Marry or Kill and of which one of my ex-boyfriends I would rather my best friend marries or sleeps with. As lad-like as the conversation was it would have never topped some of our neighbours, of which one of them was called Tuggy. We never found out why he was given this unfortunate nick-name but we all had our suspicions as to what may have caused it.
As tired as we were we still managed to make it to the man arena area where we collected our wristbands and checked out some of the stalls and huts offering over-priced festival tat which I would probably given half a chance bought all of. Returning to our camp the Girls stopped off at a eatery for some food whilst I perched on a wooden bench. Yawning wide as I looked at my watch realising it was still mildly early a young women walked up to me and ordered me to stop yawning telling me it was a festival and to 'get on it'. Out of no-where a ginger gentleman also sat down next to her and we began talking about who we were most looking forward to seeing out of the acts to headline and where we were all from. A few moments later Miss Tweedle-Dee and Miss Tweedle-Dumb walked passed and I agreed to meet them back at the tent after my conversation with my new friends. Accent confirming that they were from the South Coast I probed further into their location. After explaining that they were from a little village outside of Exeter I felt a twinge of sadness as my mind harped back to days of Mr. Cheese and plans to visit Exeter with him. Changing the subject I asked their names. The guy offered up his name first and I struggled to contain a smirk as he shared the same Christian name as my ex Mr. Workaholic and another guy I went on a date with once (The date in question was awful and was something to never bring up again. Ever.). As the night closed in we partied in the bar and I threw myself into the festival spirit ending up dancing with strangers and adding people on Facebook I will never see again. Turning in for the night I felt that my new ginger friend was asking me back to his tent in a very forward yet round about way. Knowing that he was younger than my brother I declined and headed to my canvass home, stumbling in and rousing everyone in doing so.
The rest of the weekend seemed to speed right pasted us all in a blur of drinking games, cider and music. Going to the arena everyday I saw some amazing acts including Arctic Monkeys, Paramore, Sigma, AndyC, Don Broco, Enter Shikari, You Me At Six, Twin Atlantic, Tonight Alive, Duke Dumont, Blink 182, Macklemore and Ryan Lewis, Jake Bugg and so many brilliant others. And whilst Jake Bugg was emotional to watch and hear, given the connotations and memories of Mr. Cheese it brought me but all in all, such a cracker of a weekend and all spent with my best friends. Its funny they did try to monitor (As they always do) the content of my writing in the Blog but I told them that the memories we share are the best any human could wish for from friends.
Admittedly there are things I wouldn't share with you guys, like stories of human defecation and tales of falling in country potholes but I wouldn't have my friends any other way. As a few artists rocked out on the huge stages that swamped the fields of Berkshire I gazed on at them with pride. I was proud to have two best friends that were so diverse in opinion, honesty, humour, sexual preference, personality, judgement and individuality that I don't think that even the Queen herself (Whom Miss Tweedle-Dee has innate fear of) could have chosen a better network of friendship as my two Girls. Over the pasted decade I have not listened to them on many occasions although I hope they know that throughout everything they are the best thing I have in my life and all that is worth sharing is better when it is shared with them.
'Til next time, Love A.Lou xx
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