Heyy,
Sitting in the surgery doctors waiting room to say I was nervous was an understatement. I was anxiously tapping my foot on the floor as I answered questions about my sexual health. Have I ever been paid for sex? Have I ever been forced into sex? Have I ever had abusive sex? Some of the detailed questions were strange, but I suppose they have to ask them as nurses in order to safeguard, both as an arse-covering exercise and to flag up any would-be problems or concerns. And so here I was for my fourth implant exchange.
Looking on the NHS website, Nexplanon, otherwise known as the contraceptive implant is a small flexible plastic rod that looks a little like a match stick. It is placed under the skin in your upper arm by a doctor or nurse and releases the hormone progestogen into your bloodstream to prevent pregnancy. Lasting for 3 years, it is more than 99% effective and can be useful for women who can't use contraception that contains oestrogen.
The science-y part states that the implant steadily releases the hormone progestogen into your bloodstream, which prevents the release of an egg each month AKA your period. It also thickens the cervical mucus, which makes it more difficult for sperm to move through the cervix, and thins the lining of the womb so a fertilised egg is less likely to implant itself and cause that dreaded pregnancy!
The NHS website also states that you can have the implant put in at any time during your menstrual cycle, as long as you're not pregnant. If the implant is fitted during the first 5 days of your menstrual cycle, you will be immediately protected against becoming pregnant, however, if it's fitted on any other day of your menstrual cycle, you'll need to use additional contraception (such as condoms) for 7 days, although if you ask the sexual health nurse or doctor they will usually provide you with as many as you need in a nice little discreet packet, almost like a goody bag or sticker like from the Dentist.
Some of the reasons to choose the implant over other forms of contraception are that once the implant is in place, you don't have to think about it again for 3 years and is very useful for women who find it difficult to remember to take a pill at the same time every day like me. Obviously, the implant can be taken out if you have side effects which could include periods may become irregular, lighter, heavier or longer but once removed your natural fertility will return very quickly. As soon as that implant has been removed, you'll no longer be protected against pregnancy. You can also use this method until you reach the menopause when a woman's monthly periods stop naturally.
Another common side effect is what I have most of the time which is called amenorrhoea when your periods stop altogether. It's not harmful, but you may want to consider this before deciding to have an implant if unlike me you prefer Aunt Urma staying more regularly. I think this, along with the fact I am incredibly forgetful and blase about the small stuff in life, means this is perfect and I only really need to think about it when I am having it exchanged and replaced.
I mean obviously, it goes without saying that some medicines can make the implant less effective and that it won't work or protect against sexually transmitted infections (STIs), so you may need to use condoms as well if you are not familiar with your bed-fellow. I think I found it especially useful when I was dating (although this feels like many, many moons ago now) as I was not only using condoms but also relying on my implant too as a sort of double barrier, just in case the condom split or came off.
To have it removed as I have this evening is simple as well and mostly pain-free. Starting with a local anaesthetic to numb the area on the inside of your upper arm, the implant is then inserted under your skin (mine was after the doctor made a tiny cut in my skin and gently pulled the implant out). It only takes a few minutes to put in and feels like having an injection so you won’t be in need of any stitches afterwards.
As I type to you all tonight I have been through this very quick and simple procedure several times over and, like me, when it's first put in you may feel some bruising, tenderness or swelling around the implant. My arm is killing me right now, mainly because the nurse took it out and nearly forgot to put me a new one back in, by which point the general anaesthetic had nearly worn off so inserting that little stick felt like pumping molten chilli sauce into my arm. But I am now protected, at least in part from Mr Warehouse's super sperm. His whole family seem to be able to procreate at a somewhat incredible level I don't think I have ever encountered before.
Don't get me wrong, as the day approached and even this afternoon as I thought more and more about it I know that this will be the last time I will have it going in as I will not be finishing the full term until September 2022. If Mr Warehouse had it his way we would have had children back when we met, aged twenty-two and me at twenty-three. I, however, prefer the more planned and thought out route, choosing to get life to a more stable place, with a house and well-formed relationship to steady the unpredictability of a child. And to think that the next time I lay down on that bed, fist punching the air will be when I have made the decision to breed and make more little me's!
'Til next time, Love A.Lou xx
Hiya,
Hanging up the phone I was excited for my little Step-Pooch to get her nails clipped at the groomers as she does enjoy day trips out to new places. Always rushing to try and see everything, smell everything and generally be in everything. Always nosey and forever our little star when she goes anywhere with the Vet or Groomer they always tell us how good she is and how lucky we are to have such a well behaved dog. Or maybe that is just what they say to every owner?!
However, as we did our weekly "pretend" vet check where we get her up for cuddles on the sofa and pretend that she has her teeth checked, her eyes, her paws and her ears. But something was wrong.
"What on earth is this" Mr Warehouse exclaimed as I turned to him he showed me. Not seeing clearly I allowed him to guide my hand over the inflamed sausage-shaped lump in our pup's floppy ear. Shaking us off it was obviously uncomfortable but not sore to the point she cried. I looked at Mr. Warehouse and we wondered if it was something serious.
"If we need to go to the Vets we should go now," I said panicked as I looked at the time. It was early evening so confident we may get seen that night, so I dialled the number for our local vets.
Without saying what it may be or telling us an educated diagnosis they seemed concerned and worryingly said that there were no appointments for that evening but instead, could we instead bring her in tomorrow morning, first thing. I agreed and ended the call with little more than being told it was a possible aural haematoma - a solid swelling of clotted blood within the tissues. But with the prospect of a £45.00 fee just to examine her properly, I shuddered at the true cost once medication and extras had been added.
Wanting to make sure that our Vets were correct, and find a cheaper consultation fee, I called another vet closer to where we have now moved to in the countryside. They explained that yes, similar to a blood blister in humans, that animals can get these too, most commonly after an ear infection or, in this case, smacking a soft floppy ear off of something hard. Bursting the blood vessels and, unlike humans, dogs and other animals struggle to regulate this natural occurrence and thus rather than the body automatically absorbing the excess blood back into the tissue surrounding the area it creates a pocket that fills up and then starts to process and drain away the fluid into the body. However, this process could take days, weeks or even months in many cases and we discovered after Googling it (I know I told him not to but Mr Warehouse was on it before I came off the phone to the Vets) most dogs and cats are left with a cauliflower ear, crumpled and disfigured from the trauma.
Booking an appointment for Monday we kept an eye on our grumpy pup all weekend and made sure that sausage was not filling up too much. I was concerned that the following morning we would come down to a bloodbath scene with splattering's up the new white carpet and walls following the blister bursting overnight. Thankfully we had nothing of the sorts and instead she was fine if only a little irritable. And so this evening after work I arrived home and, bundling her into my little Fiat, Clifford, we went round to the new Vets. Pulling into the small car park and walking in, I felt happy with the practice and could see just how much they cared and loved animals from the photos and thank you cards on the walls.
"This feels like a proper country bumpkin vet's," I said to my fiance, who laughed and made some comment about not being in the 'real' countryside.
Soon we were called through and looking over her the petite blonde lady took another look at her ear and quizzed us both on our dog's habits and traits. I explained that following our Pyometra scare in February of 2016 she was operated on to save her life and spayed and that other than this she is as healthy and fit as a fiddle.
The lovely Veterinary nurse said that most likely it was an aural haematoma and that this would be easily fixable. She explained that it’s typically caused by overly aggressive ear scratching or head shaking that resulted from an ear infection. To try and make our fur baby feel better the Vet suggested a drain to draw out the fluid with a needle or syringe under general anaesthetic. A steroid and medication would then be injected into the pocket to reduce swelling, inflammation and to stop it from happening again. However, she also explained that it is very common for an aural haematoma to return and on the next time, we would need surgery.
Going into more detail, The sweet lady said confirmed that a surgical repair is often considered the most effective treatment for ear hematomas. Looking online at vetstreet.com, Mr Warehouse has seen that, along with the Vets advice the surgery will be carried out under anaesthesia and an incision is made along the length of the aural hematoma on the inner surface of the ear. Once the fluid and blood clots are removed, the inner surface of the ear is tacked down to the outer surface of the ear with sutures. The sutures hold the inner and outer surfaces against each other so that when scar tissue forms, the two surfaces are smooth and not lumpy. The sutures generally stay in place for a few weeks while the incision is left open so that fluid will continue to drain as the ear heals. Eventually, the incision will heal on its own.
Taking the lead the kindly nurse took our pooch to have her aural haematoma drained and returned with a rather bloodied dog. Bleeding stemmed, her fur and coat were smothered with bright red claret. We must have looked worried as the vet went on to explain that whilst she has attempted to drain all of the blood (and apparently there was alot) there may still be a little amount that will continue to come in the next few days, and, coupled with the steroids and medication to prevent it filling again we may have a little spillage here and there.
Told to keep an eye on it and being given our first lot of ear gel, we booked in for another appointment next week to see how pup gets on. Looking at it now as she sits at the foot of the bed, on a towel and looking sorry for herself, I remind myself about how complacent I can be sometimes, about how we can all be sometimes, when someone we are around all the time becomes ill or poorly and you remember just how much they mean to you and this is no different when it comes to our dog.
'Til next time, Love A.Lou xx
