Direwolves & Dragon Queen's

Evening everyone, 

I am sick and tired of hearing and reading and listening to damned Coronavirus this and COVID-19 that. Fuck off back under the rock you crawled out from under, or the meat market you originated as the case may be. I suppose I should be grateful for one thing and that is more time to catch-up on what is on the box and popular on TV. One thing I have always been told was right up my street in terms of Telly and I would enjoy watching was Game of Thrones. Based on the bestselling book series by George R.R. Martin, David Benioff and D.B. Weiss create a masterpiece where Summer's span decades, Winter's can last a lifetime and the struggle for the Iron Throne begins. Now I will start off by stating that there will be no spoilers, just in case you yourself were hiding under a rock with 'Rona. 

I had never really had the time to get into Game of Thrones and by the time it all started getting good and people started talking about it become a general pop culture subject there were too many seasons to catch-up with and much like the rest of the TV series I wanted to watch in the past, Dexter being another one, there was not enough time to get up to speed. That is until a global pandemic starts and all of a sudden we have nothing else better to do. 

The Website Vox.com describes the HBO series perfectly. Premiering in April 2011 (long before facemasks and fighting over bogroll) the story tells of a medieval country's civil war. Set on the fictional continents of Westeros and Essos in a world where seasons stretch on for years but following a decade-long summer coming to an end, and winter looming the battle to claim the "Iron Throne," the seat of the king of the Seven Kingdoms, begins. The show is divided into three major plotlines Vox.com continues. The first covers the battle between the lords of the continent of Westeros — most notably members of the Baratheon, Lannister, and Stark families — who are involved in the fight for the Iron Throne. The second follows the rise of Daenerys Targaryen, the last member of an exiled family as she builds an army in Essos to reclaim the throne. The third plot takes place in the North of Westeros among the Night's Watch, an armed unit that guards the 300-mile-long, 70-foot-tall wall that protects the rest of the continent from the mythical creatures that lurk there.

If you, like me, struggle with finding the next best thing to occupy your time with, the blog on the dedicated Game of Thrones website, hosted by HBO, sets out 5 Reasons to Start Game of Thrones Now - And honestly, you really should. Fans of the hit TV show are passionate and devoted to the tales and battles, ready to debate, defend, or just reminisce. We’re not saying you have to dress up like the Mother of Dragons, but at least you know you’ll have a go-to for dinner conversation.

Whilst the series has come to an end (and no-one is more sad about this than me right about now) it has launched the careers of many well-known faces and household phrases. Emilia Clarke who plays the beautiful Daenerys Targaryen, Kit Harington's character being the iconic (and most unreal specimen of mankind perfection) Jon Snow and Maisie Williams who we watched grow up on screen as little Arya Stark, not to mention a few familiar faces from ye olde days of "Skins" on Channel 4 -  Hannah Murray who played airy-fairy Cassie and Partier and drug taker Chris, played by Joe Dempsie, another one I had a crush on. 

Popular phrases such as “Winter is here.” “Hold the door.” & “You know nothing, Jon Snow.” are all common meme's and phrases you will become accustomed to and find yourself repeating at any given opportunity. Jumping on the bandwagon eight-weeks ago I figured that the 59 Grammy Awards and its reputation was there for a reason. That and the Jon Snow Eye-candy isn't too bad either. I have now developed a terribly unhealthy obsession over Jon Snow acted throughout by the god that is - Kit Harington. Starting off as a bit of something nice too look at and admire, I soon became weak at the knees for those deep tones and curly black locks. 

However, as the series went on and without the wait for weeks or months for a new season to be released I was soon drowning in love for the fur-clad hunk! Alas, I do what any normal red-blooded women in her late twenties does. Stalks him endlessly on the internet, changes her screen background and goes back to her days of being a teenager, scowling the web for some filthy, raunchy fan fiction. Now I won't go into detail here, however, if you fancy a NSFW read and something to get you sweating more than dragon's breath then why not follow this link ... Thank me later! So step aside Daenerys Targaryen and Ygritte - He's Mine. Well not quite since he married his co-star Rose Leslie (they met on set and fell in love while playing Jon Snow and Ygritte) at their wedding in an Aberdeen castle, Scotland. What?! I told you I stalked him ... 

'Til next time, Love A.Lou xx

The Drought!

Morning All, 

So with last week melancholy nature well and truly put to rest (no pun intended) and with my addiction to boys slightly scarred by the previous few date I have been on I have officially picked myself up and am ready to start again with dating - In more ways than one!

More than six-weeks have passed since I was last laid. Six Weeks! I didn't even know such a drought could happen like this. But whilst I wonder every night laying there drifting off listening to cats killing themselves or my middle-aged neighbours (whom I am pretty sure are swingers) my thoughts turn to why I am not hanging off the end of my black iron bed-frame. I am single. Still. Now this would not be such a bad thing but I feel that in some respects I am more highly sexed than your average female and as a result when I don't get it I end up tense, achy and stressed constantly. The effects of not having regular bodily stimulation takes on a physical as well as mental toll on my gorgeous body (Ironic there you see! Aha). Like today at work. I nearly hid under my desk from all my problem emails and phone-calls but instead I took my lunch and ate Cous Cous to which everyone from the office and adjacent warehouse now thinks I am a Toff! Mental note for future - You know you need to get some when you are reaching for the Ainsley Harriott Red Pepper Couscous in the supermarket. Step away from the freeze-dried goods aisle and hit me up someone on Tinder! And yes I am still addicted ... 

Now whilst being single is definitely not a problem, in fact I think I much prefer myself out of a relationship, at least one that was as stifling as the last one I encountered; I still find that my needs are not being met. You see I am unfortunately a girl whom is unable to satisfy herself. Odd as it sounds and as strange as it may be I have never taken much pleasure in twilight antics of a lone nature. I find it tedious and boring. Its not that I don't like it, its just I don't see the point if I am alone. Besides, for moi, it is so much more thrilling and exciting when it is with someone else. Especially when you have been with that person a fair amount of time and you know that they have the history and skills to bring you there but sometimes just choose to keep you just beneath the peak for pure torturous pleasure until you beg them to stop. Even when your begging it doesn't always have to end. If you have a strong partner who can keep his (or her) cool then asking for something and not getting it is almost as exhilarating sending you into a wild frenzy, just itching for that release. I also have never experienced 'The Big O' yet. Now many men have tried, but most I feel have failed in there quest to bring me that wave of heat and excitement. Disappointing as it is I know that I may be one of the many women of this wonderful planet that never ever get to feel what it is like. But then again a question I always ask my friends - How do you know? I may well have had one and never even known about it. The annoying thing about all of this is that if anyone was even close to getting me there it would have been Mr. Workaholic or Mr. Cheese both of which are slightly absent right now! 

Frustrating as this all is I know that I cannot wholly become fixated on what happens between the sheets. Whilst sex is a fairly sizable part of my relationship with someone, I understand that it isn't for everyone. I need someone who I can have fun with. Something fresh and new, exciting and clean (or filthy). I want to feel giddy and woozy as well as the horn. Am I looking for Love or am I just looking for a good time? This is the question that has been battling me for several weeks now and I feel that now is the time to decide. A boyfriend is just scary and not a necessity I really can deal with right now. A relationship (of sorts) that can be loose and free within reason is something I am tempted by. It intrigues me and teases me with all the possibilities it entails. As time passes by and the longer the dry spell continues the less my 'Number' seems to matter to me. I mean, I could always lie about how many people have seen the downstairs. I remember someone telling me a rule of thumb once - Divide your 'Number' by three and then add one?! That brings me out to 3.33 recurring. How does that work? 

Maybe I need to work backwards rather than forwards with this whole dating thing! Start with the sex and see if it leads anywhere good. And whilst I like the idea of a NSA (No Strings Attached) set up I know it would be unlikely to work for both parties. An NSA programme is good in theory but it can never work when you live somewhere like Bedford where men that are pleasing to the eye are scarce. Plus I think that in the long run it would make me unhappy stuck with someone who I will inevitably fall head over heels for only to realise they like the back of my head rather than the front. If I wanted just sex I would have found that weeks ago but I am not. So what the hell am I looking for? Maybe I am therefore looking for a friends with benefits thing. The two are very different as I have come to discover. Where NSA sex is very much what it says on the tin - wham bam thank you ma'am; a friends with benefits situation is much more pleasant I feel. A place whereby if left long enough and seeds planted a fruitful, loving, nurturing relationship could blossom. The thing that I probably enjoyed most about the first few months with Mr. Cheese was simply having the freedom to do as a single girl can whilst having someone to snuggle up with and go on dates to the local ice-cream parlour. I want the cuddles at night, the spooning, the curled up TV days and the giggles and play-fights that turn into lazy but mind-blowing weekend afternoon sex. Yes, that is where I want to be. 

Naturally I invest too much in people. even in dates that are not dates. It was only just this last weekend I spoke to Miss Tweedle-Dumb of a few dates lined up in the coming weeks jokingly mentioning how Abbey *Insert Last Name* sounds blissfully better than the last few. And as my dear best friend looked at me oddly I secretly envisioned our entire wedding day together like something from a girlie Rom-Com! I seem to start making the omelette before I have even loaded up my egg basket never mind how much is in it. Always thinking far too much into stuff and not letting things go with the flow. As my father said to me the other day after nearly an hour of showing him how to use Tinder that I should slow down and stop hunting for something that will make itself known when it is ready. Pappa Bear explained that I should take a moment for myself and remember that although I am nearly twenty-three, my clock still has a lot of tick left in it. Throughout what he was saying I knew he was being truthful but it still didn't silence that little part of me that thinks that if I reach thirty and am not at least married then I will defiantly be eaten by Alsations by the time I reach thirty-two. He told me I should be young and free, making mistakes and cringingly laughing about them with friends over a bottle of wine or two. I think he was talking about Love, but it could well have been a moment of insanity in which I seem to indulge in - Alot!

And with this in mind I my thoughts immediately turn to a naughty little thing I did the other day. An UnDate - Basically Date that is not a Date or whereby one of the attendees does not acknowledge the alterer motives of such a meeting with said other party. Make sense? Probably not. But not too worry all will be revealed soon after my trip to Ireland but for the time being I can't spill too much, but all I can say is that I better get some oven mittens because I could quite well get burnt by this one ... 

''Til Next Time, Love A.Lou xx

How It Can All Change

Morning All, 

What a difference a week can make and how things can change in a matter of moments. I have realised this many times within the last week and more specifically within the past seventy-two hours! And whilst fresh in my mind I shall divulge my week. So Wednesday I finished work only to be greeted with an email when I got home from the agency. Panicking I thought that the last thing I needed was a P45. Cautiously I opened the email to my surprise and great relief it was something of an opposite nature! My place of work had renewed my contract until spring and as a result I could rest a little easier with knowing I had my job until the end of March, assuming I don't fuck it all up. And the celebrations weren't to stop there as Friday approached and the weekend was on the horizon I planned for a weekend of socialising, mingling and meeting new faces. 

Friday night my father, his girlfriend and I attended the surprise 21st birthday party of an old family friend who is due to be married in the summer (I am the photographer and am extremely excited). Upon arrival we didn't know very many people but I mingled with the faces I knew better than others and made small talk with guests. As the birthday girl herself arrived, shocked and surprised as anticipated I gave her a big hug and wished her a happy birthday. After talking to the future bride and groom I was introduced to a strapping young chap whom looked familiar. The face I knew as an old school friend of the Tweedles, but I was playing coy to the party guests as to how I knew him. That is until the groom introduced us to one another across the bar but before the introductions were even started the good-looking male stated that he already knew me. We were given space and started making conversation about Miss Tweedle-Dumb and Miss Tweedle-Dee and the few memoirs we had of each other from days gone by. As I was sucked in by the Casanova's boyish charm he told me of his hobby as a radio presenter on a local station. And so Mr. DJ was born. Paha. Turns out he will also be disc-jockeying at the wedding of our introducers in a few months time!

We talked for ages about our jobs; himself being a pre-school teacher and myself in the wonderful world of finance. Conversation was fun and flirty but I made sure to keep it as light as possible trying hard not to engage in the classic game of cat and mouse. Oh how I do enjoy a good chase! As the evening continued I socialised more, meeting more people I knew from my educational years in school and college. Soon I had a whisper in my ear that my Dad and his girlfriend were leaving and so I made the decision to stay and pursue more conversation with Mr. DJ. Dancing away the night and enjoying the company I was in myself and Mr. DJ spent more time together, tackling the likes of the Macarena and even the unfortunate event of accidentally kicking a small child in the face whilst pretending to be Wigfield! As the night drew to a close we decided to get in a few drinks and help wind down the party. Staying behind once the lights came on we helped pack away tables, food and lights. As I helped Mr. DJ cornered me and asked how I was getting home. I said that I would probably get a cab to the station and then the train to Flitwick where I was staying the night at my Dad's. It was then that he suggested quiet out of the blue that he didn't mind taking me back to Flitwick since he only lived in the next town along. Flattered at the offer I took it, wondering where my mind had gone as I anticipated a flirty drive home with a hot stranger. 

As I said my goodbyes Mr. DJ and I made our exit and headed out to his car. He mentioned something about it being parked a few roads back from the venue and to apologise in advance for making me wet. I took the comment at face value as I knew full well what he meant by it. Jumping into the modern, little car and in typical DJ fashion he instantly asked what music I liked. I told him I didn't mind and was easy with whatever, apologising again for not having a filter on my runaway mouth. Giggling like a school girl we set off into the darkness, only the street lamps to guide us. I as we approached the outskirts of town I was informed that Mr. DJ was single and I admitted for the first time this year that I was too. And so the seduction commenced and in between embarrassed but flattered giggles I flirted back heavily making sure he knew where I was. As if that wasn't enough, the bluntest and crudest questions came out from our filthy minds polluting the car with a thick aroma of lust and greed. 

Pulling into the driveway of the house my Dad shares with his girlfriend the car ground to a steady halt. As the lights dimmed in the desolate, midnight streets I wondered what I would do now. I didn't have to worry for long! "So am I allowed in for a coffee? Even though I don't drink coffee?" Mr. DJ said. And with that I knew exactly where it was going. Could I get away with this? Surely not! After a brief moment I invited Mr. DJ in and made our way to the kitchen thinking that maybe we could just whisper, naively thinking that we could have a cheeky snog and a fumble in the kitchen and still leave the evening nicely rounded off. Although as time passed I knew that it was a death wish to even bring a boy into the house let alone anything else. I suggested heading back out to the car for a chat and as the glass was left on the side and my hand firmly taken I was lead back to the still warm car. As we drove round the corner so as not to be spotted I jumped in the back seats so as to get comfier whilst getting to know Mr. DJ a bit better now the thumping music and dazzling lights had gone. 

Sobering up in the backseats of the little sports car we instantly hit it off. As our need for something more than subtle flirts increased so did the tension. I tried hard to keep control but the fact that I had been waiting months for someone to take the lead made me succumb to Mr. DJ's domineering ways. Frantic and impatient we tugged at each others clothes as I silently begged him to take me hard like I have craved for so long. I couldn't hold back any longer and before I knew it I was screaming his name as he made my hard, erotic, controlling fantasies come true. As the car stilled we held one another as Mr. DJ climaxed hard. Panting we stayed like that for a while, in an unplanned embrace that neither of us expected a few hours ago. Smiling as Mr. DJ drove me a few meters up the road we made already broken promises to stay in touch. We both knew it was just a fling but the naughty liaison left me quivering all the way to my bed that night. Lord only knows I can't wait for the wedding. Who knows what will happen?!

The following evening was much the same as how Friday had started as it was my Grandparent's 50th wedding anniversary. Sadly the only attractive and available men were behind the bar, the rest of the party consisted of people practically awaiting the Grim Reaper. Nevertheless a good evening and no body argued so all was well. Old family and friends gathered round to make the evening a special one and something that hopefully I shall encounter with someone special too. But all this goodness couldn't last for long and as morning broke on Sunday I was awakened with a banging head ache and a somewhat delayed half-hangover. Two nights of drinking and running around like a headless chicken had taken its toll and I was fragile to say the least. Although as my eyes opened for the first time I heard the ping of a text message. Reading I saw it was from Mr. Cheese whom I hadn't heard form in a few days. Conversation flowed into the state I was in and our plans for the day. I explained that I had a date as did Mr. Cheese. Coincidence?

As we messaged each other about our weekend and the anticipated date's I learnt that Mr. Cheese had secured an all important second date with a blonde from South Africa now living in London somewhere. As Mr. Cheese continued I slowly felt the same sickening feeling as I had before when I was with Mr. Workaholic. Imagining a tall, slim city-blonde with a alluring foreign accent and the sex appeal to match I struggled to see why my beloved Mr. Cheese would ever come back to me after something as I was creating in my head. As hard as I tried I knew that a second date would mean there was obviously a spark. Trying not to be a hypocrite, especially after Friday nights antics I kept an open mind, thinking that this may just be a make-or-break date. Keeping an upbeat mindset I made my way to Milton Keynes to embark on my own date. 

Within minutes after locking eyes with my already nerve-shredded date I knew this would not be the man I had hoped for. As we wandered around the city centre hopping from one coffee shop to another I realised that the needy, clingy and awkwardness of this young man was something I was not used to. And so after enduring some mild rudeness, unapologetic bluntness and incapacity to people watch quietly I ended the date. Safe to say that I don't think I will be seeing him again. Although as I settled down in my seat my phone pinged again. This time it was someone I wanted to speak to. So whilst I was sat in excruciatingly awful awkward silences and constantly trying to keep the conversation from drying up; Mr. Cheese was struggling to keep his hands off his date.

Yep that's right everyone. As I had kept my Friday night frolics to a bare minimum in detail to Mr. Cheese he had no such boundaries as he carried on into deep conversation about "how incredibly hard it was not to be that couple over in the corner of the pub". Jealousy erupted and I messaged him angrily back saying that he should just fuck the Zebra-headed bimbo. Mr. Cheese's reply about things going so well with the South African blonde made me realise that it was just too late and that instead of making his feelings stronger for me that they had simply vanished. All in the space of twelve, short days. Truth be told I'm devastated. Knowing that this is what I wanted him to go and do only makes things worse. It makes me sick to my stomach to even think about it. I have lost my appetite and still have not had a proper nights sleep since the ultimatum at New Year. On the one hand I want(ed) him to get out there, explore the world  and what it had to offer before jumping into another relationship that two years down the line could end up in tears again. But then on the other hand I enjoy being single myself; partying and not worrying about who I share the back of a car with. I cant be too hard on him as it is me whom is wearing the same shoes. Difference is that whilst I have tried to hide and tone down my male encounters, Mr. Cheese seems to be rubbing my nose it it only making the feeling that he is slipping through my fingers ever faster. It seems that the rule of 'what they don't know wont hurt them' has been thrown well and truly out the window.

I am trying hard not to let it get to me and think positive thoughts about finally securing the flat of my dreams and moving in within the next few weeks. Mr. Cheese and I haven't spoken since his comments about the blossoming relationship not going sour as I quite simply don't know what to say. I suppose I will just have to get used to the fact that maybe Mr. Cheese just doesn't want me any more.

'Til next time, Love A.Lou xx