Pressing send I knew it was official. There was no coming back from it or pretending this wasn't happening. Certainly, no going back the idea, I was positive that the next few days and weeks, explaining the story over and over again would get tiring, however no more tiring than what Mr Warehouse and I were going through.
Coming back from Newquay and our Cornwall adventures had not been easy and with Boris' new announcement released last week which finally included some information on the hundreds of thousands of couples due to be getting married this year, still hadn't helped us muddle through the mess of trying to wed in 2020.
Drafted on the basis of the all-important and rather elusive scientific evidence, since 4 July in England weddings can now take place with up to 30 guests and from 1 August, "small wedding receptions will be able to take place" the UK Government announced. For us however crunching the numbers it, in short, meant no singing, no choir (namely in our circumstances due to age and health issues which would consider them in a COVID-vulnerable category, not to mention being unable to learn 2 new songs by the time our day rolled around). It also means for us that it would not even be 30 people as we need to include in that group our photographer, videographer, Reverand and at least 2 witnesses. It gets even worse when you start to think about the "reception" (if you can even call it that more like a glorified dinner out) and again we would need to include photographer, videographer, bar staff & waiting staff, taking our total down to even less. We calculated just 19 people could come to our special day.
Arriving at the church Mr Warehouse and I was excited to see the Reverand again and chat wedding stuff. However, on walking in we instantly noticed the socially distanced chairs, podded up in pairs. There was no aisle. There were no flowers. There was just a coldness to it all. Seating ourselves we caught up on small talk before heading into the nitty-gritty of it all. Discussing through the options available to us it very quickly dawned on me that our conversations would not be based on flowers and readings.
"I know this is a shock to see the church this way," the Reverand started, "however I wanted you to see it as it stands now, with no more restrictions being lifted what the absolute worst-case scenario looks like." I felt panicked. I now had to be a big girl and face what I had been dreading for months. Along with Mr Warehouse I agreed and admitted that for far too long maybe now I have been burying my head in the sand and pretending it will all blow over, all whilst in the double knowledge that within the next few weeks we would need to be having this chat anyway.
As Mr Warehouse spoke of guests and the meaning of the wedding to him he touched on a point that had nearly set me off crying. I was close but held it back as my future husband asked openly if I would have been OK with the photos and wedding film of our special day just including twenty pairs of eyes, masks and a socially distanced congregation. Holding it together (just about) I thought about what that would look like and for the hundreds of pounds we were spending on capturing our day I didn't like the idea of looking back on them and watching the footage crying sad tears over happy ones because of the circumstances.
"May I say a prayer for you both?" the Reverand asked. Again agreeing (because what else are you meant to do we were asking to get married in this ladies office, God's house - And to be fair, we needed every damned prayer we could get) we bowed our heads and Mr Warehouse even put his hands together.
As the Reverand started I could hear in her voice the searching for positive words and something to envoke encouragement and some sort of solace. But as she began to talk of strength through difficult times I knew I couldn't hold it in no more. Silently the tears started to fall from my cheeks, rolling down into my double-chin crease. "Pull yourself together women, there are many other reasons to cry in church; Weddings, Funerals, Christingal when you get an orange and all raisins - This is not one of them," I thought to myself, knowing any moment she would stop talking and I would have to look up and then everyone would know I had been crying. And when that happened it was like a biblical flood all by itself.
Fetching a box of tissues, I was consoled by both the Reverand and Mr Warehouse as the waves of emotions drowned me. My fiance and I had to really start adulting and make some tough choices.
"Now if this is what you are both happy with then I am happy but I would hate for you to wake up the morning after and think that you could have done it differently" the Reverand kindly finished with as she waved us out of the grounds with the suggestion of a bottle of the good stuff (I know a godly woman suggesting we drink?!) but with the next few days filled with more normal social activities and things to do that conversation would have to be put on ice. Driving home we both agreed to wait until Sunday and we could talk properly then with no disruptions or distractions.
Sunday soon rolled around and after much deliberation (and nearly two-bottles of Rose in the local pub beer garden) we agreed that what we were asking for was too much for the government to lift restrictions too. For us to be happy to go ahead with our October 2020 wedding we would need the guest count goes up to above 80/80 (up to 80 for the ceremony and the same for a wedding breakfast) plus being allowed to have sing in church as well as an evening reception with DJ and disco. With this, we could have continued with the plans as they are, albeit on a reduced number of guests for our semi-normal COVID wedding.
If we were to wait as we wanted to until the end of August to make our decision there was going to be no hen or stag do, and to be honest no real guarantee of the wedding we wanted and planned for. On further reflection of schools reopening, pubs and restaurants reopening, shops reopening and the dreaded face mask/covering debacle (hold out for another blog post on this one) all having their announcements pretty much 14-days before the due date it was something we just couldn't hold out that long for.
And so it was with a heavy (and rather sozzled heart) that we took the decision to reach out to suppliers and vendors in anticipation of the foreboding announcement to ascertain the costs involved in postponing and what availability there was so Mr Warehouse and I could become more accustomed to a back-up date so as to not seem so catastrophically heartbreaking when we did have to make the ultimate decision. With most of our suppliers offering a range of dates, all of them pretty much had confirmed our suspicions that they would move us free of charge. In fact, many of them were honest enough to say that since we were one of the last bookings in their calendar for weddings this year, they had sadly been awaiting a call like this from us. With only our photographer able to do accommodate one date between March and September 2021 it made the choice easy to whittle down as there was little selection.
And so the email has been sent, updates given, paperwork amended and contract redrafted. Postponement announcements in the post (as of tomorrow) wedding guests will be informed that my east favourite C-Word ruined our plans and that whilst shit happens ... Our new wedding date is June 2021!
'Til next time, Love A.Lou xx
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