Following my visit last week to the wonderful island of Ireland after my grandfather's departure, it was certainly a visit to see family and recuperate that I think both Mr Warehouse and I definitely needed. But back home in the struggling spring of Mainland UK and with most things organised for the funeral including piecing together an all black outfit that would be appropriate for a funeral whilst still maintaining at some class and decorum about me, there was very little left to do.
And yet I had to still try and get a hold of my brother. When it first happened, my granddad's death that is, I hoped he has some sense in trying to get in contact with the family, including both my mother or fathers sides. But what with Mr Warehouse and I travelling to Ireland, contacting my brother had slipped my mind in all fairness but as I said last week, in a funny sort of way I had made my peace with my Granddad and his demise, all I wanted is for my brother to have the opportunity do the same and make an informed choice. Last week I supposed that only time will tell. I didn't have to wait long.
Following my return from County Kilkenny, I called round all family members, hoping to get an update or to find out that maybe given the circumstances my brother had contacted anyone, even just to send a card or to call and give his condolences and sympathies. Nothing. At the very least I thought he might reach out after all these years to our grandmother who had lost not only the love of her life but also the father to their children who eventually grew into the family she now has. But no.
After speaking with my mother's brother, my Uncle Golf, I was informed that he to had not had any communication from my brother at all since the beginning of the month. I was disappointed to say the least. This was certainly not how our parents raised us and far from what I would expect my brother to act as an bow fully grown man. Talking more my Uncle Golf decided that my brother and I needed to talk and would be most unfortunate circumstances needed to talk and at the very least discuss the details for the funeral and what we both might like to say about our memory of our time with him. And so with this information and coupled with my brothers mobile number, on a evening after a heavy gym session I decided to give him a call.
Was I nervous? Yes! Was I Anxious? Definitely! Was I scared? No, he was my little bro! OK well I was a little bit but I think that all of those feelings are fairly normal when you have not spoken to someone who is meant to be one of the closest people in your life in the last four years. I suppose it is kind of morbid in a way that the last time we spoke it was at another funeral. honestly speaking I hope that it was not going to be add another but here I was. In my kitchen. In my flat. Dialling his number Mr. Warehouse stood by me stirring the pot of risotto watching it boil and bubble. It began to ring. With the dialling tone continuing I expected a voicemail to hit soon. 'Maybe he was just like his big sister putting his phone on charge and ignoring it for the whole evening?' I thought. But I barely had a moment to think about that before a deep manly voice answered the phone in a jovial tone.
"Hiya" The young man said. Shocked, I had not expected my brother to be so receiving and happy about me calling. But oh how wrong I was! On hearing my voice my baby brother proceeded to tell me to "Fuck Off"! Stunned by his outrageous behaviour and inability to control himself and show a bit of respect, I had only a few seconds before he hung up the phone. Attempting quickly to return his call, it went almost straight to voicemail. Leaving him probably quite a lengthy and rambling on voicemail I followed up my communication, although brief with my brother, on a text message.
Hi Sean it's me, your big sister.
I know that you don't want to
speak to me so I thought I would message you instead. Obviously I'm hoping that
you know this already but if not our Granddad passed away recently. On behalf of
myself, the family which you are apart of even after all these years but most
importantly Granddad himself we would really like to see you.
I understand if
you do not want to come and see myself, dad or anyone else in the family for reasons I can only assume, but at the very least
I think you should go and say goodbye to our Granddad one last time. I have enclosed
the details below that are on all of the families social media pages as I am not sure if you
have seen them. If you have not then you now have all the right information in order to
make an knowledgeable decision about what you would like to do for yourself and I hope you do the
right thing as a lot has changed in all these years.
I have spoken to other family members and
they have all said that if you would like they are more than welcome to offer you a
lift to and from the funeral, crematorium and wake and this is including myself.
If you end up deciding that you would not like
to come to the funeral for whatever reason, personal or otherwise, then at the
very least call the funeral directors and they will be able to
organise a time for a personal viewing of the body so it is just you and Granddad where no one
else will be allowed in.
It's up to you at the end of the day but I would like to hope that you would still go and pay your respects to our grandfather who loved us unconditionally and irrespective of our parents and what they did or did not do.
When everything is said and done, I just wanted to make sure that you
had a chance to make an informed decision for yourself as an adult. I love you
and if there is anything else I can do or that you would like to discuss them
please call me. My number hasn't changed.
No comments:
Post a Comment