Monday, 28 November 2016

Pretty As A Picture

Hello, 

After missing the turning twice already, Mr. Warehouse and I pulled into the driveway of the photographers studio once more and the gates opened, I wondered as to where that ponsy family went and how their wonderful Swarovski encrusted lives had got to. Nevertheless as Mr. Warehouse anxiously waffled on about what our budget was for photos was and if we needed a safe word for when we were in the viewing room (Anyone would have thought we were arranging some sort of BDSM relationship with our slightly-camp photographer) I parked my little Vivienne and took the short gravel path to the studio's. 

Sitting down in the viewing room I got ready for the hard sell and eye-watering prices. Watching the initial video of our little pooch and us. Music with an upbeat tempo and the seventy or so images that were taken during our shoot. Settling into the comfy sofa's with our lattes and cappuccino's the video ended and Mr. Warehouse and I were left to whittle down the photo's into the yes, no and maybe piles. Nearly forty-minutes in and we had binned more than half and were left with sixteen images we were struggling to pick off. With Mr. Warehouse looking to me for my advice I simply didn't know what to say and maybe a safe word at this point would have been a good thing. 

Silence breaking we listened to the photographer as he asked us what our budget was. We had not even really planned to be asked such a question and as silly as that sounds we really hadn't thought about how much we had or wanted to spend. I responded with a polite but reasonable offer of up to £400.00 since it was on the run up to Christmas and all that it brings we wouldn't be able to stretch much farther than that. In all fairness if I could get a package for half of that then I would be walking out of those doors a happy lady, but I had to remember that for me it was just flicking through pictures of Golden Labrador Retrievers but for Mr. Warehouse that was his baby. His furry, excitable, traffic-detesting, tennis-ball loving, scratch-my-bum-please and constantly hungry baby. 

Since the moment the bundle of fur arrived they were inseparable, firstly being bought by his brother but being unable to keep her in his rented accommodation he palmed the pup off to his mom and teenage brother, the pre-teen Mr. Warehouse. Plonking this little Andrex-puppy-lookalike down into his lap, Mr. Warehouse raised her through puppy-hood to an adult and what I can only describe as the most happy-go-lucky dog I think I have ever met and that not to mention her perfect temperament and ability to respond brilliantly to any situation be it children, fireworks, loud noise's, different transportation and new places. She is the best step-pooch I could have ever asked for and for the majority of the time she is very well behaved apart from maybe that time she stole my pizza slice. Oh and that time she got tangled up in the doggy-boot protector whilst I'm hitting seventy on the motorway when I look in my rear-view mirror only to see her swaddled like a newborn. Or that time she tried to steal the KFC from the builders in York. Yes.  Other than these moments she was a very good dog. 

So now was crunch time. Money. I feel that its a dirty subject to talk about and in all fairness I think rather vulgar in any situation to discuss finances or wealth or money.  Now its not like I own a yacht in the South of France, but equally I and not rummaging thought the bins to find something remotely edible to have for dinner. I am a JAM - Just About Managing. I have enough money to spend it on nice things for me and other people, but also enough to go out to dinner once a week or just go for a drive because I'm bored. I think sometimes money is a subject left to those in jobs whereby it is necessary and for me that is not the case. 

Anyways, there we were in the photographer viewing room looking at sixteen beautifully remastered images of Mr. Warehouse, the dog and I, with some of the snaps just her by herself. Looking at one another again in a hope some money might just fall out of the sky at this point in time, the photographer broke the ice by stating that he could do us a deal with the sixteen images on screen and the full feature-length video included for £300.00. Totting it up in my headed it worked out to be a good deal, and so it should be - We had to be mucked about for some wanky posho's to have their snotty brats photographed. I mean in all fairness there wasn't much cheaper we could get it for with the video being £100.00 alone and the photo's including copyright laws were working out to be about £12.50 each I thought it was a cracking deal. 

Shaking on it, Mr. Warehouse pulled out his card and we paid in full, leaving very happy customers and even more anxious and buzzing to see the results. I felt like new parents and that we had all this news and photos to show off to everyone and I just couldn't wait. Late last week they arrived and I am overjoyed with the prints and images. The video is just as good as Mr. Warehouse and I remember it and I am pleased we will soon have some wonderful prints and canvases to adorn our walls with. I don't have any reason to use the photographer any time soon unfortunately but certainly when life's big events conclude I will think of no-where else but his studios and lens. Maybe now I can have my own photogenic pup!?

'Til next time, Love A.Lou xx

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