When You Know, You Know?!

Hi everyone!

So yet another Bank Holiday has graced the United Kingdom and after feeling rather poorly since last week's post and having to take a few days off work sick, I have been feeling much better over the last few days. Nothing serious, just a combination of UTI, Kidney Infections and crippling back pain along with nausea and vomiting. And don't worry I am not pregnant - I have checked already. But I suppose you would be checking too if you had woken up at three-in-the-morning on the nose for the last five days vomiting ... Unless you were a man?!

Finishing work on Friday exhausted from my half-worked week, I arrived home and spent the night cuddling with Mr. Warehouse. After hearing that one of our work colleagues was getting engaged after a trip to Dublin I was pleased to hear that the European Capital had made such a profound impact on the couple who had asked for mine and Mr. Warehouse's advice on where to go and what to do there after our Christmas/Valentines Trip in February. Mulling it over dinner, Mr. Warehouse then exclaimed that he himself had also considered proposing to me whilst on the Green Isle. This I was shocked by. Sat their open mouthed over the dinner table I was stunned that I had been so close to being "wifed". 

Totally bewildered and stunned by this revelation I asked Mr. Warehouse how and where and when and why but the only real response I got was that it would have been at some point on our drunken night out in Temple Bar or maybe at a few other romantically set scenes across the city, of which I suspect the Zoo was one of them. He explained that whilst he has yet to buy a ring, ask my dad, get me a manicure and gain advice from Miss Tweedle-Dee and Miss Tweedle-Dumb and they are just the basic things needed in proposing to the one you love. 

I think it panicked me slightly that whilst we are now living together in my little flat and the dog has moved in also, I sometimes find myself missing the fact that we used to hardly see each other. Whenever Mr. Warehouse was due to come round I would clean my home in a frantic mission to make it look beautifully tidy and presentable. I would make a conscience effort to look good all the time around him and I really miss the days when we would just go out for a walk or meet up for a date. I enjoyed the fact that it was my flat and whilst I am more than happy now sharing that with the other half and the fluff ball, I miss the days when it was all brand new. I know that my friends and I are getting to an age where people are getting hitched, having babies and buying houses but I don't honestly know if I am ready for that right now. I want more that life has to offer before all that. I want to travel more and experience things before all my priorities get ploughed into a house, husband or hordes of offspring.

I love Mr. Warehouse to pieces but I often wonder for his own well-being. I want him to be a little more like me sometimes and have a bit more get up and go. Find a better job so he doesn't have to work crappy shifts so that he can earn more money, in turn making some new friends or rekindling old ones so as to create a social life instead of just being in front of the TV all the time. Playing rugby or another sport, going off down the pub to watch the football or crashing round someones house to have an all nighter on the Xbox; All of these things I think would make him into a better person and ergo make him feel better and more confident in himself. I worry that as I did in the past, Mr. Warehouse is consuming himself with my presence and to be brutally honest it makes me feel guilty when I go out with the girls or try to plan holidays as I know he doesn't have any other avenue to socialise other than his huge extended family or a few work colleagues. As harsh as it sounds if I knew that Mr. Warehouse did not have as many hobbies and activities outside of our relationship as I do now then things might be different, but then on the other hand, in a way I knew all of this when I first met him and I still continued to date him so something must be there beyond just lust?!

I suppose with all of this comes compromise and prioritising your problems and issues. We have to sort out each fault in life one at a time. Rome wasn't built in a day and neither can a new life for someone. I know where I want to be and what I want out of life in the future, I just question sometimes when I will be ready and how will I know I am ready because for me, with everything I have been through as a late-teen and in my early-twenties I am now at a point most people my age are past. I wanna go out and party through the night, getting in when the sun's coming up, having wild parties and creating memories I will never forget. I am still the college-grad that wants to party away her weekends in flowery headbands and glittery make-up as opposed to spending them settling down and creating the foundations for a future with someone. 


'Til next time, Love A.Lou xx