Time For A Little Sunshine...

Hey everyone, 

So I am currently writing to you from the very sunny and beautiful island of Majorca in Spain. Slightly chilly out but still, the sun is shining and I don't have work. 

The past week has been fun although not much has happened in the way of anything, apart from having to comfort a very glum and self-destructive Mr. Mot after I had a phone all at one in the morning. I attempted to pamper his ego as much as possible and make him feel better about himself especially what with his current situation, but it was all in vain as he still carried on in the same self-loathing he had started the conversation with. After an hour and a bit of trying to make him feel better I gave up and ended the call. Nevertheless the following day he was as right as rain and back to his cheery, if a little crude and flirtatious self.  Mostly this week though has been preparing for this week. Miss Tweedle-Dee and Miss Tweedle-Dumb have been stressing about packing and departure times and such like all week, where as I have been as cool as a cucumber and have been relaxed, that is up until the wax...

So after my appointment at my local college being booked in on the half-term holidays in the south of England and so therefore being unavailable I found myself a little salon near where I work. Reasonably priced and with the schedule open I booked without hesitation. Upon arriving to said venue some minutes late due to the train being cancelled I was ready to be de-fluffed! Little did I know that walking over hot coals would have been a more pleasurable experience. If you are thinking about it ladies and gentleboys; DON'T - It hurts! Thinking it would be a good idea for holiday is one thing but then carrying it out with a women who you don't even know is another. I mean firstly there was the fact that I had bought new jeans previously and that the dye had rubbed off onto my legs so I looked like an overgrown Smurf. Secondly, less than ten minutes in and because my legs are made of 99.9% cellulite, she spilled hot wax all over me as the roller machine that she was using got trapped in one of my fat pockets. And then there was the sheer fact that she had a looked and touched something that a guy only gets to after he's taken me for dinner. Bareing (no pun intended) this in mind, my legs are still smooth ... ish. Definitely not worth it for the money, the pain or the bite marks on the back of my hands as a result. 

Miss Tweedle-Dee, Miss Tweedle-Dumb and I arrived mid morning after a long morning spent traipsing round the airport looking for a coffee shop so that all three of us could function properly as it was like three in the morning. The flight itself was pretty straight forward, but as we were taxing down the runway, for some odd reason I felt an overwhelming urge to kiss someone. To be honest I felt a bit emotional going on holiday again. I always do though. I suppose it doesn't help that I feel this way every time I go away because it was the last time I went on holiday with Mr. Workaholic that he decided to make his own mind up about our relationship. Regardless of that though, I am having a splendid time already. Miss Tweedle-Dumb is having a nap before we head out to dinner. So far there have been no arguments although I have had to seclude myself onto the balcony as Miss Tweedle-Dee is making so much random chitter chatter by talking to herself that I can barely hear myself think. 

And so after a fun and vibrant day in Majorca, Spain it's time to clock off as I am starving and Miss Tweedle-Dee, Miss Tweedle-Dumb and I still have to hunt out dinner. Need to wake them up first which shall be a task and a half as Miss Tweedle-Dumb is already snoring. Uhh, she also just farted, how classy of her slumbering self. This will be an interesting few days to watch out for next week. 

'Til next time, Love A.Lou :) xx