Good day to you all,
After last weeks episode from Mr. Coffee I am glad to say that he is now well and truly out of my way and permanently excluded from my 'to do list'. I have been thinking alot lately about my love-life, or the somewhat lack of it. I thought about Mr. Mot and how he has suddenly grown a conscience and wants to be a faithful boyfriend despite his girlfriends drama and his insatiable appetite for sex. I have thought of Mr. Coffee and how much I invested in such a short amount of time, only to be taken for a ride and left high and dry. I thought about how much energy and time I put into Mr. Workaholic, as well as building our life together. All of it now wasted. I thought about how easily and quickly I fall for guys, and how hard I hit the ground. Are these just my issues or do other people deal with this in life too?
I have had a fragile week to say the least. This time last year I was in sunny yet slightly chilly Cyprus with Mr. Workaholic and his family on holiday. This, I feel, was the holiday in which he made up his mind that he didn't want to be with me anymore. Valentine's Day doesn't help much either. To be honest I didn't really notice until the middle of last week when I recognised the date and then realised why. I would much rather pretend I had never been to Cyprus and that it all never happened. But that's impossible. Even if I delete tangible memories they will forever be scratched into my mind. I had to call him earlier actually to sort out some financial issues but whilst dialling his number I felt sick and nervous, violently shaking. I was imaging Mr. Workaholic scramble around for his phone or him picking it up in a local pub surrounded by friends. Hearing his voice flooded my body with feelings, both good and bad. The phone call was brief but I still sometimes wonder about Mr. Workaholic. Does he talk about me to his friends and family? Does he think about me? Is he reminded of me regularly? Is he safe and well? I laugh sometimes. Regardless of how much Mr. Workaholic broke me, I still care for him and to an extent still love him. I gave up everything for this one person who in the end could never really give me a proper reason as to why he left. I don't ever think I can love anyone as much as I loved that guy. (I would say man but after everything he put me through as well as some of the weird and wonderful lets say 'experimental' moments he has encountered with the same sex I doubt that we can call Mr. Workaholic a true man? But that is to be shared for another time - Tell you what, leave a comment if you want to hear what happened, including all the gorey details!)
Getting slightly depressive now though so I shall brighten up the mood with some of this weeks anecdotes. After not hearing from Mr. Waistcoat for a while I decided to text him, making up some excuse I had been away and that was the reason for lack of contact. Anyway, I explained briefly but concisely how I would like to go on a date with him. However as I have heard nothing for seventy-two hours I can only presume that its a polite 'No'. Upon this I decided to launch myself into something of a new hobby. Dating of the online variety. I could sit at home in just my under-garments or on the train home from work and liaise with other like minded males about subjects of interest, gradually, maybe working towards an actual encounter that doesn't involve a screen and a good Internet connection. I think that it might teach me to become more resilient to a mans charm and coax me into opening my eyes more when it comes to meeting men. Its only early and I haven't really spent that much time looking at successful candidates yet but all in good time. After all a foggy club at 2.54am whilst drunk and wearing heels is never a good first impression. Plus it will add a whole new dimension to my life, giving you my dear readers something else to dive into when you need a pick-me-up!
I'm off for a weekend away with Miss Tweedle-Dee and Miss Tweedle-Dumb and shall be back next week with some juicy tales!
'Til next
time, Love A.Lou xx
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