All Things Bright and Beautiful

Evening, 

Mini-Moon Spa hotel for post-wedding snuggles and QT with the new Hubby? Check! A pre-wedding holiday to Newquay? Check! Stressful visit to the Reception venue with the Father of the Bride and his wife to go over details, floor plans and meet the new venue coordinator? Check! Must mean one thing - Eights months to go!

However, with the weeks melting by, a visit with the Reverand was certainly due. After enquiring in January about our marriage matters meeting due to take place in February 2020 hosted by our Church and for all the couples getting married that year I was surprised to learn that Mr Warehouse and I were one of only two couples getting married in St Mary's this year. I was shocked. I thought that maybe there would be quite a few, maybe even in or around our day. Maybe even the same day (not that I like sharing, I just wanted to piggy-back their flowers).

Reading up online in order to try and prepare myself for a visit to the Lord's Crib, I learnt that when you marry in a church, you have not only the legally binding religious contract of marriage but the vicar’s personal and individual attention, which is only made better by knowing more about you and you're betrothed. 

Prior to this meeting last week we had already met the head of the Church and his protegee (who will be marrying us) but nevertheless she was now well and truly into her new role and whilst had already met with us, was interested in our story and how we came to be. It was nice that she knew some of Mr Warehouse's relatives and this made it much easier to relax and get to know each other. In time the relationship with our vicar will, like most, often go beyond the wedding day and it is possible she could be part of other big occasions in our life, like christening our children. Reading through the website, yourchurchwedding.org, as with ourselves, be prepared for a good few hours worth of form filling and question answering. "There will be some forms to complete which are necessary for the vicar’s records and they will need to ask a few questions that confirm you’re free to marry and that you have a legally-recognised connection with the church." 

Now remember that whilst some of these questions or items seem silly or trivial (like 'Are you related?'), the details are really important to ensure our, and your marriage will be legally sound. Accidentally we forgot to bring our passports and birth certificates, something we will have to produce at our next meeting just after Easter and most certainly before our Bans being read in August. Mr Warehouse and I are both British, born and bred, however, the website states that "If either of you are a national from a country that is outside the EEA, the vicar will advise you on applying for a Superintendent Registrar’s Certificate, now required for all Church of England marriages of non-EEA nationals." Unlike some of the things I had read and heard online and through others in conversation, if either party are divorced the vicar will need to see your decree absolute (confirmation of your divorce) however just because you have divorce in your background doesn't mean that a religious ceremony in a Church is off-limits, it just means that there is a little more legwork involved and the vicar will almost certainly want to talk about in some detail.

Some of the things we spoke about during the initial visit last week were the prices and costs involved of the Church ceremony including Flowers, Organist, Choir and Bells being rung. Additional options included something special which I shan't divulge however I think will be an interesting and different addition to our ceremony. 

One of the main things talked about, however, and something we have not really thought about too much was Hymns and readings. As we are marrying in a Church the only condition is not the Hymns or sing-song bits, but that we must have at least one religious reading. I thought personally it would have been the other way around and that readings could come and give or take a poem or two, but the Hymns had to be religious and all "God this" and "Jesus that" but that is not the case. 

Yourchurchwedding.org, confirms that for most couples and weddings, there are usually two or three hymns sung. "The first is sung near to the beginning and helps everyone to feel that they are together in this place for a special purpose. The last hymn comes right before the final blessing, and reflects a mood of celebration and joy." Sometimes another hymn is included whilst the register is being signed, or just after, however, this is something Mr Warehouse and I didn't want and would rather have a song played, choir singing something or that special surprise I am so excited to leak about.

My future Husband and I wanted to find hymns that are familiar to our guests and are easy to sing, encouraging everyone to join in and not just mumble or humm along. Hymns and the Church Kareoke bit I had made my mind up long ago that I refused to have any songs that people had to sing that were unfamiliar or unknown or had those weird split words and syllables. I'm talking 'Hallelujah' and 'All Things Bright and Beautiful'. The website helpfully explains that "The vicar or the organist at the church where you are to be married, (or Directors of Music in some of the larger churches), will be pleased to help you decide." This being said, the capabilities of the organist, the type of organ they have in your church and also the choir and their abilities all need to be taken into account so seeking the opinion of the vicar, even if you have already decided which hymns you’d most like to have, can be immeasurably helpful.

But, following a difficult week and a whole bottle of red wine I was sat on Friday night, balling my eyes out as I listened to a non-religious, Disney song. Powerful, strong and tender it was everything I was looking for and as I listened to some of the lyrics I could envision our congregation, all there just for us, singing it to us, loud and proud. I was a mess. And so we found our Hymns, now we just need to find a reading appropriate and religious enough without being too much so.  

'Til next time, Love A.Lou xx