Sitting at my desk I finally plucked up enough courage to look at the clock only to see that it was gone 10am. And with that I knew that Mr & Mrs Tweedle-Dumb would be high in the skies over England, possibly the Atlantic at the moment, jetting off to start the adventure of a lifetime with her new husband in L.A. I was suddenly very sad at the simple prospect that we were not even sharing the same airspace anymore. Although to be fair it could have been a lot worse than it was at my desk on Friday morning. Only a few hours earlier after Face-Timing in the car with Miss Tweedle-Dee following a lovely evening meal out together I drive home thinking nothing more of it. Suddenly, then as I pulled off the A421 and headed down into the Suburbs of Bedford, a much enjoyed song of mine played over my car stereo. The Song in question was James Arthur's 2016 hit "Say you wont let you go"!
As I started letting the emotions - happy, sad, everything wash over me I became completely and utterly overwhelmed with sadness and heartbreak. The sobs began to get caught in my throat and slowly turned into gasps of air. Hot, wet tears rolled over my cheeks as I struggled to control myself. For a moment it crossed my mind how difficult it was to drive and cry at the same time. I thought about pulling over but it worried me that I simply would not be able to pick myself up and carry on, with that carrying on down the road slowly making sure that I turn in every right direction to get me home as soon as safely as possible. Pretty much parking the car, turning off the engine and running into the flat by this stage I was a hyperventilating mess. I stood in front of Mr Warehouse who was sat on the edge of the bed, bawling my eyes out and struggling to get the words out of my mouth. It was only the fact that he sternly asked me what had happened as he thought that I had run over a dog or maybe been in an accident of sorts. Finally I pulled myself together enough to tell him that it had finally hit me. My best friend had gone.
And as if life hadn't kicked me in the face enough the last week, following my most recent appointment with the doctor, they had advised to continue my medication whilst I awaited an appointment where I can be seen through the NHS for counselling. However things don't seem to be getting easier and the pressure that I am feeling from loved ones is becoming a little too much to bear. I know I need to sort out these issues but first of all I need to sort myself out. Trust me when I say that it is simply a long story that I may share with you another time, but for the meantime I am doing as well as can be and battling it through to make the best out of what I have.
Although hopefully fingers crossed we might be able to add a home to the list of things that we have in our Arsenal to make life a bit better! But with the house slowly coming to an end (I hope) we finally had the Mortgage Offer. At the beginning of last week I had several frantic phone calls from the estate agent. Making excuse to make tea and coffee for the team I headed to the kitchen and returned their call. Answering within a few rings I spoke to the gentleman who had initially sold us our new home. Sadly he did not have the news that we were hoping for and that are keys have not been handed over. In fact, what had happened that morning already was a rather important and integral meeting between the builders and developers of the plots and the housing association that we were eventually going to be sharing ownership of the property with. The local housing association had basically said that they were not happy with the standard of homes they were being given and that given the amount of snagging that needed to be done it may be some time before they would accept any sort of property from the builders and developers. I suppose in a way it is quite nice to see a company as large as that one looking out its future customers, even if it is all about selfish terms that if anything was to go wrong I would be calling up the housing association to come and put it right rather than the builders or developers.
Unfortunately the estate agents were not privy or of the knowledge as to what the smoking was or how long it could potentially be. The reality was that it was all internal and nothing structurally was wrong with the build, theoretically meaning that the snagging could simply be down to the fact that the paint job isn't done to a high enough standard or that a screw isn't screwed in properly to a door handle. Not really the best news that you want to hear over a coffee on a Monday morning I asked when the handover date was being pushed back until. It was at this point I nearly dropped the milk - New handover date was being pushed until the end of December 2018. Frustrated and angry I had to keep calm and remember that I was in a lucky position that I would be one day able to afford my own place of safety, tranquillity and warmth; something that many people across the globe even tonight will not have.
Tuesday morning I checked my emails only to see a reply from a contact I have at the housing association. She had apologised profusely for the fact that they would have to postpone the handover date a few more weeks due to snagging and lack in quality that they were expecting. With this in mind however, she did go on to say that the new handover date was to be expected on the 28th of September 2018, three-months earlier than anticipated yesterday. And there I was saying that buying a house was not stressful at all. Excited for the news that we would still be able to have Halloween, Bonfire Night and the lead up to Christmas all in our new home, I rushed home from work to tell Mr Warehouse. As yet we have not had any clarity on what else we need to do in the meantime however we have exchanged contracts which I think in basic terms just means that we are going into business. I am getting itchy and frustrated with not being able to move in yet but I am sure the time will come quicker than expected - Ready for the next dip in my Rollercoaster?
'Til next time, Love A.Lou xx
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