Heyyy,
Boarding our flight I was excited more than ever for mine and Mr. Warehouse's first beach holiday together. And to think it had taken nearly three years. Despite all the planning and preparation for the holiday Mr. Warehouse still stresses out about travelling whereas I find it probably one of the most relaxing things to do.
What was not relaxing was our flight. I forgot just how draining, exhausting and tiring a four-and-a-half hour flight can be. There is the food and drink to wait ages for and when it does come its overpriced junk, the limited leg room (for those more well-endowed than myself in the pins department) and then there is the risk that every traveler faces. That family. You know the ones people, look like they have just come from a council estate in Luton (and I can get away with saying that because essentially I was brought up on one) via the Jeremy Kyle show so as to have a polygraph test on the other half to find out if he is cheating with the neighbour two doors down. At least two children of which are brats and run around whilst the parents are oblivious to their poor behaviour, normally one of the 'little darlings' will squeal like a pig getting a vasectomy just to get the attention of Mom or Dad and in some instances it fails to work and in others the annoying little fuckwit gets a light telling off from the doting parents.
Now I get travelling with kids is difficult at the best of times and I don't begrudge parents bring children on flights or holidays, its a part of family life and as such the conditions for children, babies and toddlers are not ideal. Flying, and travelling in general is very adult and the combination of air pressure and the lack of things to do, coupled by the fact that they may well have had to get up earlier than normal will make for an unhappy adult let alone a child or someone smaller. But one thing I do dispute is the fact children of talking age screaming and shrieking so loud that is actually give people headaches from their misbehaviour and parents seemingly deaf approach to discipline, even on a busy flight to Tenerife.
So yeah the flight wasn't great but landing we were excited about the hotel and what it may look like. For three-hundred quid each, I wasn't expecting much, but certainly expected better. Bedsheets were stained and torn, the oven door was hanging off and the double room Mr. Warehouse and I had booked and paid for was a twin with no zip possibilities to turn into a double. This was not the three star hotel we signed up to, this was more like a two and that's being generous given the little cleaning and upkeep that went into the rooms. Disappointed Mr. Warehouse and I agreed that out run of good luck in bagging fantastic hotel rooms and free upgrades had finally run out. Sleepy from our trip we decided to go out for some dinner and then get some sleep, but not before Mr. Warehouse was offered Viagra, Marijuana and ever Cocaine on a visit to the infamous Playas de la Americas strip.
The following day I complained to the receptionist about the poor state of the room who basically said that she would get the handyman round to 'plasty--tie' the bed together so it is a double and make sure that the maids checked to room for cleanliness. Suffice to say it has not improved. Heading out for breakfast, Mr. Warehouse found a lovely little restaurant by the seafront over looking at the mountains and shores of Tenerife. Purely beautiful views, we sat down and ordered our breakfast, revelling in the luxury atmosphere. Finishing breakfast though we headed back to the tour operator next door to our hotel in order to book the excursions and days out for the coming week. More than two-hundred Euro later and we have ourselves a holiday of activities.
Feeling a bit of a loose end Mr. Warehouse and I decided to book ourselves on to a whale and dolphin sea safari, departing that afternoon. With a ninety-five-percent chance of Pilot Whales being seen along with a fifty-percent chance of seeing dolphins we were excited but realistic about an only five-percent chance of seeing turtles. As we waited to board our boat we looked around at the other couples also boarding the same excursion and realised we had made a grave decision in the fact that we did not bring sun cream.
However as we set sail we could not have anticipated the excitement that we felt after seeing Bottle-Nosed Dolphins off the shore of the island, smashing the fifty-percent stat right out of the water and all within thirty-minutes of leaving the harbour. Further on into our trip we found a family of pilot whales and was able to watch them from afar in their natural habitat along with their babies. Wrapping up the journey up we headed to a small cove where we dropped anchor and prepared to dive into the deep blue ocean. Whipping our kit off to unveil our swimwear underneath, Mr. Warehouse and I carried on as on lookers watched the crazy couple plunge into the saltwater below. It brought back all the memories of Kavos with the Tweedles when I had the adrenaline rush from jumping ship into the ocean and Mr. Warehouse agreed that it is an exhilarating experience he is glad to have done together, and to think that it was only our first full day on the island. But as the anchor was drawn up and we set sail back to harbour Mr. Warehouse pointed out something in the water. Brushing it off as simply driftwood, as it was before on a similar excursion in Newquay last year I thought nothing more of it until my boyfriend jumps to his feet and yelled "Its a turtle!" and it sure enough looking over it was a bright yellow and green turtle swimming right past our feet as they dangled above the waves, clear as the sky above. However I think that the rest of the passengers on board had not seen the turtle and maybe assumed it was indeed driftwood. However Mr. Warehouse and I knew what we saw and he looked just like 'Crush' from Finding Nemo and Finding Dory. Stepping back on to dry land it was plain to see that our first excursion was incredible and myself and Mr. Warehouse agreed that it was the best money that we had spent in a long time, probably even the best value for our entire holiday at thirty-euros each.
That night we decided to head down to the main street in Los Cristianos where Mr. Warehouse and I were more than excited to try out the delights of the world famous Hard Rock Cafe. Unfortunately we were not able to get a table and so decided to find somewhere else to eat for dinner with the idea of coming back earlier on another night to get a table. Settling on a restaurant near Harry's bar in the same eatery complex called 'Prime' specialising in steak and burgers, we were hungry and thought it looked good. Oh how wrong we were. With the service not being the greatest that Mr. Warehouse and I had received in any restaurant that we had eaten out at before, we assumed that it was just a busy Friday night and that the food would make up for the lack of attentiveness. It began well with the starters being scrumptious as I ate carpaccio whilst Mr. Warehouse tucked into a assortment of Spanish sausages and black pudding (despite the waiter coming back to say that there was no black pudding left). Sadly though when the mains arrived it went downhill very, very quickly. Asking for a rare steak I did not expect it to be still raw on my plate. Concerned about not wanting to be sick on my holiday, I asked the waiter if I could exchange the steak or have it cooked more since the middle of it was freezing cold. He obliged politely and brought it back promptly after it had been sliced in half and cooked further. But Mr. Warehouse did not get off lightly either as his burger which was minced steak was also rare when he had asked for it to be medium. With the mince from the burger being mixed with other ingredients and possibly in less hygienic standards than we expect I suggested not eating anymore, especially since the burger tasted like mould.
Another waiter came to collect our place still full with food and ask if our meal was OK. We could not lie any longer and explained the problems that we had so far with our food to which the waiter politely replied that he was sorry for the upset caused and said that he would get a reduction on our bill. This didn't seem to make much difference though since the bill came to nearly seventy-euros. Leaving the restaurant disappointed and robbed of money, we went back to the hotel room for an early night. However this would not have been the last time we saw the staff there at 'Prime'.
And early morning ensued as we prepared to go to the world famous Loro Parque. Home to some exotic animals including White Tigers, Lions and Silverback Gorillas Mr. Warehouse and I were excited to see them all but most importantly we were looking forward to seeing an unforgettable show with dolphins, setting this zoo apart from the others we have visited over the years. What sets Loro Parque apart from the rest is the fact that it is the only place in the world outside of Seaworld, USA that shows Orcas and killer whales in a live action show. With the way of the world at the moment especially with the controversial subject of keeping Orcas in captivity, it is highly unlikely that my children will never get to see Killer Whales in a show such as this, either here at Loro Parque or indeed at Seaworld, USA. Breathtakingly beautiful I highly recommend anyone coming to Tenerife to go and visit Loro Parque and take the once in a lifetime opportunity to revel in these animals glory and awe.
After returning from Loro Parque, Mr. Warehouse and I headed down to the Hard Rock Cafe in hopes that we would be able to get a table. Timing it perfectly, we ate our meal which as we had anticipated was very yummy, all whilst we were surrounded by a great musical history. However when we came to pay for the meal I put in my credit card only to hear that it had been declined. Being only our second full day on the island I decided to check out how much money I had left on my card via the App. To my horror I looked at the balance that had been taken for the previous nights meal at Prime. One-hundred euros had been added to our bill for the evening and had promptly been taken from my credit card.
Furious and angry me and Mr. Warehouse marched straight over to the restaurant and demanded to speak to the manager. With the maitre d sensing that there was a complaint coming he called over the waiter that had seen to us the previous night. Explaining my issue politely the waiter was like a rabbit in headlights and it was at this point that Mr. Warehouse went from calmly fizzing with anger to volcanic eruption. Blowing his top, Mr. Warehouse angrily pointed out that it wouldn't have been so bad had the meal actually been decent but even then nearly two-hundred-euros is far too high of a bill for food that was undercooked, tasted awful and a lack of service. Hurrying us to the back of the restaurant where the Bar was, the waiter soon opened the till and took out the money to give back to us, at this point apologising profusely, all in the acknowledgement that Mr. Warehouse had puffed up like a pissed off peacock.
Relieved to have finally got my money back with the help of my little bouncer boyfriend, we decided on an early night and headed back to the hotel. The last couple of days have been a lazy few spending it we have lounged by the pool or reading magazines. Luckily Mr. Warehouse and I found a gorgeous little private beach with sectioned off sea-pool and so have spent a few long hours down there, snuggled on a luxurious double bed with a cocktail or few. Although last night Mr. Warehouse may have had a few more drinks than necessary and ended up sozzled. After crawling up the stairs to our hotel room and gobbling down a family sized bar of chocolate only to vomit it back up moments later Mr. Warehouse has advised me that he no longer wants to drink on this holiday, nor does he want any chocolate. Wonder what the next few days will bring ...
'Til next time, Love A.Lou xx
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